(no subject)
I fucking hate you.
She felt for a moment she was blinded by pure, relentless anger turned hatred from deep within, from a source she did not know she possessed. She watched herself as if viewing a movie.. she turned to bend over and reach for snow, round it in her hands until formed an icy ball. Within seconds she saw herself hurl it through the air to make contact with the side of his face. He showed no sign of reaction.
Fuck, that wasn't good enough.
She decided that he deserved to momentarily hurt in a way similiar to how her insides turned
I decided I wanted you to momentarily hurt in a way similar to the how my insides turn each time I think of you or see you, how my skin crawls when you lay your filthy hands against my pure skin. My fists, pounding into your chest as you stood there to take it, they were not enough. My hoarse voice, tears pouring down my cheeks were not enough. I yelled it. I screamed it.
I FUCKING HATE YOU.
I heard you tell me I was making a scene, which was what my father often told me when I was young and by doing so, I was vicious as I made my strikes harder, pounding your shoulders and chest. A vivid image of that dark bedroom in the summer turning fall of Richmond season. I asked you to stop, you wouldn't listen. YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. Punch. Feet running away from the scene as the front door closed and you ran inside with a filthy display of complete arrogance. Again, as you had before.
What a bitch. What a fucking crazy bitch.
I almost slipped as I ran back to my car. I drove a few feet before I pulled over and stopped. I was breathing deeply but no air filled my lungs.
I remember feeling this way before.
I was there, nineteen, head in a toilet bowl my body reeking of drugs and alcohol. I puked, twice and decided that no amount of rinsing my body with soap would cleanse the filth that clung to my body.
I'm there, trying so hard not to hurt myself but the only way I could clean my body of your putrid touch was by damaging it.
I scratched until blood droplets climbed up through the uneven marks.
Life, life, life. There is life here.
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT
You were supposed to love me, wait.
You don't even know what love is you goddamn asshole.
You raped me..
of my virginity, my time effort and love, and four goddamn years of my life.
I hope you rot in hell, while knowing that I forgive you.
You did so much to me you can never take back.
She felt for a moment she was blinded by pure, relentless anger turned hatred from deep within, from a source she did not know she possessed. She watched herself as if viewing a movie.. she turned to bend over and reach for snow, round it in her hands until formed an icy ball. Within seconds she saw herself hurl it through the air to make contact with the side of his face. He showed no sign of reaction.
Fuck, that wasn't good enough.
She decided that he deserved to momentarily hurt in a way similiar to how her insides turned
I decided I wanted you to momentarily hurt in a way similar to the how my insides turn each time I think of you or see you, how my skin crawls when you lay your filthy hands against my pure skin. My fists, pounding into your chest as you stood there to take it, they were not enough. My hoarse voice, tears pouring down my cheeks were not enough. I yelled it. I screamed it.
I FUCKING HATE YOU.
I heard you tell me I was making a scene, which was what my father often told me when I was young and by doing so, I was vicious as I made my strikes harder, pounding your shoulders and chest. A vivid image of that dark bedroom in the summer turning fall of Richmond season. I asked you to stop, you wouldn't listen. YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. Punch. Feet running away from the scene as the front door closed and you ran inside with a filthy display of complete arrogance. Again, as you had before.
What a bitch. What a fucking crazy bitch.
I almost slipped as I ran back to my car. I drove a few feet before I pulled over and stopped. I was breathing deeply but no air filled my lungs.
I remember feeling this way before.
I was there, nineteen, head in a toilet bowl my body reeking of drugs and alcohol. I puked, twice and decided that no amount of rinsing my body with soap would cleanse the filth that clung to my body.
I'm there, trying so hard not to hurt myself but the only way I could clean my body of your putrid touch was by damaging it.
I scratched until blood droplets climbed up through the uneven marks.
Life, life, life. There is life here.
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT
You were supposed to love me, wait.
You don't even know what love is you goddamn asshole.
You raped me..
of my virginity, my time effort and love, and four goddamn years of my life.
I hope you rot in hell, while knowing that I forgive you.
You did so much to me you can never take back.