Some stuff about me.
One of my favorite literary works is Emerson's Self-Reliance. I think Emerson had some good things to say, and that work is the one I think best describes how I live my life.
Emerson has said, "Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day." His stance is that our need for consistency hinders us from forming new ideas and judging a situation as it really is, because people judge our future actions by our past ones, and so we feel locked into one path because 'the multitude' expects us to follow that path. He's one of those authors who reminds me to own my feelings, and to not apologize for my observations of the world.
That being said, those of you who have known me for a long time will already be aware of this, but it appears that it either needs to be repeated or said anew for those just tuning in: If you are offended, put off, or in some way disapproving of A) How I handle my personal life, or B) What I write in my journal, you have two options.
The first is to realize that both of these things are solely mine and that if I have no other rights in this world, I do have the right to handle my life and my prose as I see fit. This isn't just a one-way street; you always have the option of reading or not reading, and filtering me is extremely easy. If you don't feel like engaging me in conversation when you see me, no one's going to force you. If you don't like my opinions, I give you full and un-offended leave to avoid them.
And the second - if you do feel the need to offer an opinion, I welcome it. But offer it to me, not to third parties where I'll hear about it in some roundabout fashion and realize that 'several people' have taken issue with me and conveniently neglected to mention it. If you have told me how you feel about something, then obviously this is not about you, and I respect you for telling me, whether or not I agreed with you. We're all free-thinking humans here, and we all have the right to disagree with each other.
I don't owe anybody an apology for my actions or my words. If I chose to apologize to someone, then it's because I felt it was the right thing to do, and not because 'ZOMG everyone hates me.' Your backbiting disapproval of my handling of a situation has had absolutely no effect on how I handled it, and it especially didn't affect me if you didn't have the stones to tell me directly how you felt. I greatly resent learning from a third party that other people have been carrying messages back and forth and tattling on me like we're in preschool. I expect better of that from people I call my friends. If someone is staying out of my life and not communicating with me, they're doing it for a reason and it is not your duty or your right to communicate on my behalf and carry my words around to someone who was specifically leaving me alone. It wasn't your situation, it still isn't your situation, and there's no reason it should be.
You have an issue with me, take it up with me. Just bear in mind that I may or may not agree with your assessment of the situation, and I fully reserve the right to continue handling things as I see fit, because while I always appreciate the advice and opinions of my friends when they're given honestly, it is still my life, and at the end of the day, it's my decisions that will carry.
Emerson has said, "Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day." His stance is that our need for consistency hinders us from forming new ideas and judging a situation as it really is, because people judge our future actions by our past ones, and so we feel locked into one path because 'the multitude' expects us to follow that path. He's one of those authors who reminds me to own my feelings, and to not apologize for my observations of the world.
That being said, those of you who have known me for a long time will already be aware of this, but it appears that it either needs to be repeated or said anew for those just tuning in: If you are offended, put off, or in some way disapproving of A) How I handle my personal life, or B) What I write in my journal, you have two options.
The first is to realize that both of these things are solely mine and that if I have no other rights in this world, I do have the right to handle my life and my prose as I see fit. This isn't just a one-way street; you always have the option of reading or not reading, and filtering me is extremely easy. If you don't feel like engaging me in conversation when you see me, no one's going to force you. If you don't like my opinions, I give you full and un-offended leave to avoid them.
And the second - if you do feel the need to offer an opinion, I welcome it. But offer it to me, not to third parties where I'll hear about it in some roundabout fashion and realize that 'several people' have taken issue with me and conveniently neglected to mention it. If you have told me how you feel about something, then obviously this is not about you, and I respect you for telling me, whether or not I agreed with you. We're all free-thinking humans here, and we all have the right to disagree with each other.
I don't owe anybody an apology for my actions or my words. If I chose to apologize to someone, then it's because I felt it was the right thing to do, and not because 'ZOMG everyone hates me.' Your backbiting disapproval of my handling of a situation has had absolutely no effect on how I handled it, and it especially didn't affect me if you didn't have the stones to tell me directly how you felt. I greatly resent learning from a third party that other people have been carrying messages back and forth and tattling on me like we're in preschool. I expect better of that from people I call my friends. If someone is staying out of my life and not communicating with me, they're doing it for a reason and it is not your duty or your right to communicate on my behalf and carry my words around to someone who was specifically leaving me alone. It wasn't your situation, it still isn't your situation, and there's no reason it should be.
You have an issue with me, take it up with me. Just bear in mind that I may or may not agree with your assessment of the situation, and I fully reserve the right to continue handling things as I see fit, because while I always appreciate the advice and opinions of my friends when they're given honestly, it is still my life, and at the end of the day, it's my decisions that will carry.