wel to all

[grf]

i have just written a long post that delted it's self and i don't remember the start of it so i cut to the end and youll have to do with out the poet in me

blabnlablablbnamlnb
something that rimed
something about leaving and a return
and then something about friends and family oh thats it i go tit now

to all my friends and family and my frends that are family and my family that are friends

i have discover somethin easently (thanks EN) i am scared of people caring about me. yes me i can't stand it when people tell me the worry about me or the miss me or they need me it is ot a comfertable situation . so i avoid leting people in to my real emtions and hide a large part of my self from the wporld. sometime it explodes and something comes out you all have witnessed this at sometime. but it never works rejection has qlways folled my majoir feelings when i let the people inportant o me in they reject my feelings and tell me im wrong or broken or straied from the rite path(cough cough god's plan cough cough) i truly hate that saying. so i have learned to hide and cover up my emothing or override them with obserity
trying to keep my self at a distance to the world and it work of a while but that hurts me as well i am always looking in on a life never having one and i want to care about people but it scares me to much
and evry day i think of the day i left
and how you all showed up it shocked me and it felt good
even with all my walls and bownderes you got in and attached yourselves how
i don't know
but i fell bad about it as well i feel you guys have given so much in to a friendship and i have held out not being a true friend
sorry

oh what a thing to discover at the end of this
what a project to undertack on the way home

to let people in and to let me out

take care

graf