Jealousy
I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last night. She made the comment that she was not pleased with her boyfriend at times because he was not a jealous person. She would hang out with her male friends and he wouldn't mind. And that bothered her. She equated it to showing attention and concern that he could lose her- making her feel important.
I can understand that, but at the same time I am much mroe like her boyfriend in that. I'm not a jealous person. If I'm dating someone, I trust them. I trust they will not step out on me. I may not be fond of the guys that hit on her, and I'm usually pretty open about my distrust of them, but rarely ever jealous. If I am dating a girl, she is very important to me. I hope I show that in our normal interactions, but I know it isn't always demonstrated. And even if it is, I know that familarity can cause even that to be forgotten. I have had girlfriends in the past that complained about my not minding them going out with male friends without me for that very reason.
The strange thing is that these are pretty independant women. If I had told any of them "you aren't going out with him", I would have likely woken up wondering how that bus that hit me got into my living room. I can certainly understand wanting signs of appreciation, and acknowledgement that she is a prize that is sought after and greatly desireable, but I'm not sure how that balances with the trust and respect I would naturally have for anyone that I have put in that place in my life.
Or maybe girls are just weird, and I need to accept that I'm always going to be wrong, and negotiate a volume discount for "I'm sorry" flowers/chocolates/computers/iTunes/whatever she prefers.
Poll Jealousy
I can understand that, but at the same time I am much mroe like her boyfriend in that. I'm not a jealous person. If I'm dating someone, I trust them. I trust they will not step out on me. I may not be fond of the guys that hit on her, and I'm usually pretty open about my distrust of them, but rarely ever jealous. If I am dating a girl, she is very important to me. I hope I show that in our normal interactions, but I know it isn't always demonstrated. And even if it is, I know that familarity can cause even that to be forgotten. I have had girlfriends in the past that complained about my not minding them going out with male friends without me for that very reason.
The strange thing is that these are pretty independant women. If I had told any of them "you aren't going out with him", I would have likely woken up wondering how that bus that hit me got into my living room. I can certainly understand wanting signs of appreciation, and acknowledgement that she is a prize that is sought after and greatly desireable, but I'm not sure how that balances with the trust and respect I would naturally have for anyone that I have put in that place in my life.
Or maybe girls are just weird, and I need to accept that I'm always going to be wrong, and negotiate a volume discount for "I'm sorry" flowers/chocolates/computers/iTunes/whatever she prefers.
Poll Jealousy