(no subject)

[greyxnightmare]

so yea. today i have vball try outs. it's 6 30 am right now. yea i know, freak. try outs are at 8. anyways, so yesterday was really weird. i was out of it most of the day, especially when i was with my family. we went out to eat after church [[yesterday was sunday]] and the whole time, i had this blank stare. i was simply thinking the whole time. weird. i've never really done that for an hr, but i did. i found out my cousin feels a little depressed cause none of his guy cousins ever call to hang out w/him..? yea, i'll teach him a little about depression. i could show him all he wants to know. anyways, i went to guy/girl week last night. it's this thing with the church; they seperate girls and guys [[by grade]] and we're all in diff. houses. then we talk about sex, love, relationships, all that crap. i actually like our [[small]] group. i think we have like, 8 people? good. i still don't feel comfortable telling my life stories, and they were speaking of how last year people told guys/other people about what they talked about in the group. big mistake. now i'm refraining from telling them things. i wanted to go, being open. but [[and i realize it now]] if i'm open, and someone says something like that, or just something mean, i do like, auto-shut down, and don't expect me to be me for the while i'm with you. like, i was wearing these plaid capris and a sleeveless shirt yesterday, and i told my mom i wanted to get my sweater, so i grabbed the first one i saw: a long black cotton one. well, as i'm walking back to the car from the house, she's like, "who's is that? where'd you get that from?" and she took it. huge mistake. all after that, i was in my own little world, and i secluded myself from the rest of the family day. it's like i put up a barrier, and it's true; i do. i know i do. but i'm just that self conscience. but w/e. i'm not like that with my friends. or at least the ones i used to hang out w/, and some i still do. but w/e. my family will learn. antony learned. i can talk to him about w/e. my parents, forget it. alex, ehh...i can talk to him about some stuff. but not everything. he'd probably lecture the gospel to me or somethin. wow, long post. well, i'm leaving. i have to shower. and it's 6 41. hope yall have a good day, i'm scared out of my mind. maybe i'll relax and look at my sonny moore pics before i go. haha. wait. i'm relaxing, not orgasming...is that a word? ha, it is now. no i'm kidding. but yea, later haters. leave the love.

o wait, one last comment. yesterday, my mother told me to smile, because when i don't, i look like i could hit something or someone. i laughed on the inside. if they only knew.

oh yea, and sonny moore roxers your boxers, to the fullest extent. he is the sex.