Sep 18, 2009 17:31
My friends, I have uncovered a terrible truth that is more unsettling than all the conspiracies in all of Dan Brown's novels put together! As a devoted watcher of Fox News, I have become increasingly vigilant against attempts to destroy our Constitution and our freedoms by secret socialists and communists like Barack Obama, Van Jones, Acorn, and their ilk.
But the threat from these communists pales in comparison to the shocking discovery I have made! Who is that threat, you might ask? None other than JESUS OF NAZARETH. This threat is so dire because Jesus is apparently the most secret socialist of all!
I know, my friends, that such a claim is truly shocking and must be backed up by irrefutable evidence. So now I will spell it out plain and simple so that all of you can see all the ways in which Jesus and his disciples are like Barack Obama and the Democrat (Communist) Party:
Reason #1: Jesus, like Barack Obama, was born in a foreign country and isn't even an American.
Can you believe it? This came as a shock to me, personally. I always thought the town of Bethlehem was in Pennsylvania! Apparently, the Bethlehem that is referenced in the Bible is actually not even on this continent! Not only is it in a foreign country, but it's in THE MIDDLE EAST! Jesus was born in the land of terrorists! I also found that he spent much of his life living in PALESTINE! How can someone with such a dubious background be a friend of Israel and a good American?
Reason #2: Jesus engaged in class warfare and foretold the redistribution of wealth!
It doesn't get more socialist than that! Just read the populist non-sense that I found in the Gospel of Luke 6:20-26:
"Blessed are you who are poor, for the kingdom of God is yours. Blessed are you who are now hungry, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who are now weeping, for you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude and insult you, and denounce your name as evil on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice and leap for joy on that day! Behold, your reward will be great in heaven. For their ancestors treated the prophets in the same way. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. But woe to you who are filled now, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will grieve and weep."
Can you believe that? Jesus is basically trying to give people an incentive to be poor! He's saying that rich people are going to get it in the end, can you believe that? Why would anyone invest in the stock market and create jobs and entrepreneurify if this is what they thought their reward would be? He's advocating laziness and the eventual redistribution of wealth in the kingdom of heaven! This is plain and simple Marxism! He goes on to say that people should "lend without expecting anything back" (Luke 6:35). Doesn't he know that would ruin our responsible financial institutions and banks? How would capitalism go on? How can he condemn the work of honest bankers? Are you seeing how socialist he really is?
Reason #3: Jesus is weak on crime.
Like a true bleeding heart liberal, Jesus had some truly insane positions when it came to crime. In this same Communist Manifesto Jesus says that if someone strikes you that you should "turn the other cheek" and that you should "pray for" and "bless" your enemies. What kind of surrender monkey nonsense is that? Was this guy French? And while I was hoping that all this crazy talk about letting terrorists and evildoers do all the evil they want might just have been written by this wacko named Luke, I found almost the exact same socialist propaganda in Matthew! He says "Do not store up your treasures on earth" (Matthew 6:19) and then goes into the same basic speech that's in Luke. Christians call this a "Sermon on the Mount" to disguise its true sinister nature as secret socialist spin! Even worse, in the Gospel of John, he pardons a woman who was guilty of a capital offense and lets her off with a "Go and sin no more!" Can you believe it? (John 8)
Reason #4: Jesus says he will judge societies, not individuals!
Everyone knows that rugged individualism is the only way to go! Otherwise people become lazy and don't create wealth. Only a bleeding heart liberal would think that the social context matters. We all know that there are good people and evil people. But Jesus says this:
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.' Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?' And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.' Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.' Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?' He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.' And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." (Matthew 25: 31-46)
What kind of socialist non-sense is this? First off, I think it's telling that Jesus identifies with people in jail. Anyone as unpatriotic, subversive, radical and socialistic as he is should definitely have detained as an enemy combatant, interrogated with the harshest techniques and then executed! But just look at all the lunacy that's in this passage! Jesus is basically telling people they will be rewarded for irresponsible behavior like giving handouts to the poor and healtcare to the sick. That only encourages laziness and hurts the profits of good hardworking business people. Everyone knows that. And then those people who are doing the responsible thing by refusing to give away their hard earned dollars to total strangers are told they're going to hell!
If people were every to actually believe and read this stuff then capitalism would collapse overnight! This is truly dangerous, people! It must be stopped!
Reason #5: Jesus gave away healthcare for free.
Apparently, this Jesus of Nazareth was a healer of some kind. He cured lepers and blind people and all kinds of things. Not once did he demand payment. Can you imagine what this did to the livelihood of hardworking doctors all throughout his community? These people went to school and paid their dues and got their licenses and had to pay for medical equipment and needed to be rewarded by being paid by their patients. But here's this Jesus who's apparently just naturally good at healing doing it for free. How's a doctor supposed to make an honest living like that?
Reason #6: Jesus' closest followers formed a Communist cell after his death.
One could argue that Jesus didn't really have a social or economic message if all we had were what I described so far. But after he died, we can see just what kind of society his followers went and formed. And what kind of lifestyle choice did they make? By now, you can probably guess the answer but I was shocked and appalled as I read this:
All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one's need. (Acts 2:43-45)
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. With great power the apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great favor was accorded them all. There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need. (Acts 4:32-35)
I don't know about you, friends, but I love America and I love capitalism and when I read those words I started to get really emotional. There were literally tears in my eyes, America! I wept to see that this religion I had once put my faith in was actually a secret vehicle for anti-American and anti-capitalist ways. But then my sadness turned to outright fear as I learned what these freedom-hating communists did to anyone who dared to try and defend their God-given right to property:
Thus Joseph, also named by the apostles Barnabas, a Levite, a Cypriot by birth, sold a piece of property that he owned, then brought the money and put it at the feet of the apostles. A man named Ananias, however, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property. He retained for himself, with his wife's knowledge, some of the purchase price, took the remainder, and put it at the feet of the apostles. But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart so that you lied to the holy Spirit and retained part of the price of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain yours? And when it was sold, was it not still under your control? Why did you contrive this deed? You have lied not to human beings, but to God." When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last, and great fear came upon all who heard of it. The young men came and wrapped him up, then carried him out and buried him. After an interval of about three hours, his wife came in, unaware of what had happened. Peter said to her, "Tell me, did you sell the land for this amount?" She answered, "Yes, for that amount." Then Peter said to her, "Why did you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen, the footsteps of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out." At once, she fell down at his feet and breathed her last. When the young men entered they found her dead, so they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. (Acts 4:36--5:10)
Can you believe it ladies and gentlemen? Here, in the early "Christian" movement, we see already the kinds of death panels envisioned by Obama and others. They were so hell bent on their program of redistribution of wealth that they would up and kill anyone who would withold so much as a cent from their early form of government. This is what we can expect in our future if these Christians are allowed to continue unchallenged and unchecked.
Reason #7: Jesus, like Barack Obama, is a secret Muslim.
Can you believe that folks? Jesus Christ isn't even a Christian. He's apparently a Muslim and is mentioned all through the Qu'ran. His birth story is told in 3:49-55 and his death is in 4:157. I won't list all the other passages in which he appears. But this shouldn't be surprising to anyone by now, given the fact that he was BORN IN THE MIDDLE EAST, HELD COMMUNIST AND SOCIALIST VIEWS and FOUNDED A COMMUNIST TERROR CELL. Jesus was also a secret Muslim and Christianity is a plot to make all Americans convert to Islam once the church is in charge of everything and has taken away all of our hard-earned property and confiscates all our God-given guns based on some "Prince of Peace" plan.
Conclusion
There you have it, everyone. Christianity, something we once thought of as the bedrock of good conservative values and American patriotism, has been exposed as a socialist program for turning American into a Muslim Communist state. No one could refute the evidence I have so clearly laid out in front of you. I hope that you will help me in raising awareness about this secret conspiracy and join me in proudly defending AMERICA and CAPITALISM from these radical communist Muslims who HATE OUR FREEDOM!