Physics prof. Spring Break e-mail
First Email -- subject line = Spring Break
I know that not everyone has the resources to get away to some warm
place during
spring break, but you should at least give yourself a break from the
unbelievable grind
that is undergraduate life.
And if you can do something totally different and fun (which doesn't
necessarily
involve lots of drinking and sex), you will go a long way toward saving
your
humanity.
When I was a graduate student, it never occurred to me that most
graduate
students stayed around during the summer and worked on their research.
I was naive, and my first wife was an adventurer. We spent the first
summer
in Woods Hole on Cape Cod, where I learned that I did not want to be an
oceanographer. We spent the second summer on that Jeep trip to South
America. OK, I spent the entire third summer studying for prelims while
house sitting for my inlaws (and setting their swimming pool on
fire--another
story). But even that was fun in a way. I learned an unbelievable
amount doing
it my way rather that how I was told in classes. The third summer was
spent on
another adventure, driving a vw bus and camping, from Germany to
Afghanistan
and back, hitting many countries along the way including Turkey, Iraq,
and Iran.
It was amazing.
Am I bragging? I hope you see it as a good example.
Have a fine break,
Don
**********
Second email--subject line-- can't shut up
2 things
The way my first wife and I paid for those trips was to live very
frugally
off my grad student stipend and save everything she earned. As I
recall, she worked the first year as a sort of guard at juvenile hall,
the second she did substitute teaching, the third (after which we made
no trip) she finished her Master's in Art History, and she taught
grade school full time the last two years.
So, you don't have to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth
to have an interesting life.
The drinking and sex remark: I suppose some folks thought it was funny,
some might have been offended, and some paid it no heed. I didn't
mean to be either offensive or funny, it's just that
The Huge Beach Bash with Sex and Booze
has been the stereotype of spring break fun since even before I was in
high school.
Never been to one myself. Went to see a movie about it when I was quite
young, called "Where the Boys Are". It crushed my poor tender heart,
to tell
you the truth. It strikes me as a rather lonely predatory business,
but I've
always been a prude. Can't help it. Friends have to forgive me for it.
A rather hopelessly gallant prude at times: I was at a meeting in
Puerto Rico
last fall, one honoring the birthday and career of a friend of mine.
At the
conference banquet, on the deck of the swimming pool, some folks decided
to go for a swim. I had anticipated this and worn my swimsuit under my
clothes
the whole day. So, I was soon diving and splashing and carrying on in
the water.
The wife of the honoree decided to join the fun, and coming from the
braless generation
was somewhat exposed when she stripped to her undies. So, when not in
the
water she stood around with her arms crossed. I decided it was
unseemly to have
folks trying to get a glimpse of her, so I stripped completely and went
on with my diving fun,
figuring to attract attention away from her. I also thought I would
soon be joined by others
and wouldn't feel quite so naked.
After about 15 minutes I realized no one else was going to join me in
this way, and put
my suit back on. That's an awkward thing to have to do. If you ever
find yourself in that
situation, you just have to pretend to yourself that no one is
watching. I'm pretty sure
no one took a picture; at least I haven't been approached yet by
blackmailers.
So, prudishness can take you funny places as you get older.
Back to sex: if there is more than 0% chance you will have sex with a
stranger in the
next week or so, for the love of Mike, carry your own condoms. If
you've never
bought them, it's a little daunting at first, with all the bewildering
selection. If
you want a quick buy, just grab one, maybe the three pack of lubricated
Trojans.
Or go with a friend and have fun laughing while you make your selection.
Back to not having sex: I was one of those odd ducks who was saving
himself,
and lost several girl friends as a result. I think the last one
thought I was gay.
(Because, when I met her again years later and introduced my two sons,
she seemed
very surprised.) The fact is there is plenty of time for sex later in
life if you feel
like not getting started anytime soon. And once you do start, it can
be pretty
distracting.
Why in the hell am I telling you all this? See subject line.
En loco parentis? (don't know how to spell it).
Don
He's retiring this year. He's just so passionate about physics you can't help be inspired, and his stories are endless.
I know that not everyone has the resources to get away to some warm
place during
spring break, but you should at least give yourself a break from the
unbelievable grind
that is undergraduate life.
And if you can do something totally different and fun (which doesn't
necessarily
involve lots of drinking and sex), you will go a long way toward saving
your
humanity.
When I was a graduate student, it never occurred to me that most
graduate
students stayed around during the summer and worked on their research.
I was naive, and my first wife was an adventurer. We spent the first
summer
in Woods Hole on Cape Cod, where I learned that I did not want to be an
oceanographer. We spent the second summer on that Jeep trip to South
America. OK, I spent the entire third summer studying for prelims while
house sitting for my inlaws (and setting their swimming pool on
fire--another
story). But even that was fun in a way. I learned an unbelievable
amount doing
it my way rather that how I was told in classes. The third summer was
spent on
another adventure, driving a vw bus and camping, from Germany to
Afghanistan
and back, hitting many countries along the way including Turkey, Iraq,
and Iran.
It was amazing.
Am I bragging? I hope you see it as a good example.
Have a fine break,
Don
**********
Second email--subject line-- can't shut up
2 things
The way my first wife and I paid for those trips was to live very
frugally
off my grad student stipend and save everything she earned. As I
recall, she worked the first year as a sort of guard at juvenile hall,
the second she did substitute teaching, the third (after which we made
no trip) she finished her Master's in Art History, and she taught
grade school full time the last two years.
So, you don't have to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth
to have an interesting life.
The drinking and sex remark: I suppose some folks thought it was funny,
some might have been offended, and some paid it no heed. I didn't
mean to be either offensive or funny, it's just that
The Huge Beach Bash with Sex and Booze
has been the stereotype of spring break fun since even before I was in
high school.
Never been to one myself. Went to see a movie about it when I was quite
young, called "Where the Boys Are". It crushed my poor tender heart,
to tell
you the truth. It strikes me as a rather lonely predatory business,
but I've
always been a prude. Can't help it. Friends have to forgive me for it.
A rather hopelessly gallant prude at times: I was at a meeting in
Puerto Rico
last fall, one honoring the birthday and career of a friend of mine.
At the
conference banquet, on the deck of the swimming pool, some folks decided
to go for a swim. I had anticipated this and worn my swimsuit under my
clothes
the whole day. So, I was soon diving and splashing and carrying on in
the water.
The wife of the honoree decided to join the fun, and coming from the
braless generation
was somewhat exposed when she stripped to her undies. So, when not in
the
water she stood around with her arms crossed. I decided it was
unseemly to have
folks trying to get a glimpse of her, so I stripped completely and went
on with my diving fun,
figuring to attract attention away from her. I also thought I would
soon be joined by others
and wouldn't feel quite so naked.
After about 15 minutes I realized no one else was going to join me in
this way, and put
my suit back on. That's an awkward thing to have to do. If you ever
find yourself in that
situation, you just have to pretend to yourself that no one is
watching. I'm pretty sure
no one took a picture; at least I haven't been approached yet by
blackmailers.
So, prudishness can take you funny places as you get older.
Back to sex: if there is more than 0% chance you will have sex with a
stranger in the
next week or so, for the love of Mike, carry your own condoms. If
you've never
bought them, it's a little daunting at first, with all the bewildering
selection. If
you want a quick buy, just grab one, maybe the three pack of lubricated
Trojans.
Or go with a friend and have fun laughing while you make your selection.
Back to not having sex: I was one of those odd ducks who was saving
himself,
and lost several girl friends as a result. I think the last one
thought I was gay.
(Because, when I met her again years later and introduced my two sons,
she seemed
very surprised.) The fact is there is plenty of time for sex later in
life if you feel
like not getting started anytime soon. And once you do start, it can
be pretty
distracting.
Why in the hell am I telling you all this? See subject line.
En loco parentis? (don't know how to spell it).
Don
He's retiring this year. He's just so passionate about physics you can't help be inspired, and his stories are endless.