(no subject)
there is just too much to say. i want to tell everyone what i think but i never will. in my head i scream but outside i just lay in bed all day long on my days off and let cory play nba live and smoke and when he asks me whats wrong i dont want to burden him. im a lot nicer now but its hard to keep all of the loathing inside. maybe i just have to go back to work.
i still hate this house. i hate everything about it. its the ugliest fucking thing that i have ever seen. its a stupid shape, all the rugs are a horrible color, when you walk in it smells like cat piss, and everything that is on shelves is stupid. the refrigerator is filled with stupid food, the dishwasher is always empty, and none of the plates match.
i want to take a shower right now but someone who doesnt even live here has put some cleaning supplies outside of the bathroom and i think that is supposed to be a sign to someone but the bathroom is never even fucking dirty and fuck you i shower like twice a week. i only want to shower so i can try to brush these knots out of my hair. i think ive said this before, but there is just something inside of me that makes me unable to face the task of brushing my hair every day. its so long. i just dont want to cut it all off. its messy and holds scents and makes memories last longer.
i had a four day weekend this week. today is day two, i think. i cant keep track of days anymore. i wasnt asked if i wanted a long weekend, but that isnt unusual. i hate going into work every day, but i wont quit. i can't quit.
cory and joe have been at work all day. i would almost rather be there than writing this right now.
i still hate this house. i hate everything about it. its the ugliest fucking thing that i have ever seen. its a stupid shape, all the rugs are a horrible color, when you walk in it smells like cat piss, and everything that is on shelves is stupid. the refrigerator is filled with stupid food, the dishwasher is always empty, and none of the plates match.
i want to take a shower right now but someone who doesnt even live here has put some cleaning supplies outside of the bathroom and i think that is supposed to be a sign to someone but the bathroom is never even fucking dirty and fuck you i shower like twice a week. i only want to shower so i can try to brush these knots out of my hair. i think ive said this before, but there is just something inside of me that makes me unable to face the task of brushing my hair every day. its so long. i just dont want to cut it all off. its messy and holds scents and makes memories last longer.
i had a four day weekend this week. today is day two, i think. i cant keep track of days anymore. i wasnt asked if i wanted a long weekend, but that isnt unusual. i hate going into work every day, but i wont quit. i can't quit.
cory and joe have been at work all day. i would almost rather be there than writing this right now.