(no subject)
I'm not sure where to start.
i mean, it's been so long since i've posted on lj, so many things have happened. how do i even begin? i told my therapist that i was going to try to post something again. it was once a great way to just PROCESS, before i even used that term; to throw all my experiences and feelings out into the pit of the internet. whether they floated or sank, it was a release.
i've always been the sort to talk out my problems, but i suppose 'adulting' comes with the realization that you and your friends are all dealing with day to day shit, and it is exhausting and unfair to make them listen to all of it. So, you share less with others, and come to your friends when you are really struggling and need some extra emotional support; fine, but the need remained. i started on lj over ten years ago. it was an outlet through some significant life changes for me, to say the least.
This year, 2016, has been the hardest, busiest, likely most difficult year of my life to date. Not a BAD year, but a growing year. a productive year, and i've wanted to stay on top of it. and i have, but it has been a regular slug-fest.
the year started with almost losing my dad. hospital bedside, rehabilitation, the whole package. it was scary, but he seems to have made a full recovery. i think i'm still recovering from the stress of those three weeks. that was Feb. i came back and started studying for the pbar. i took it and failed at the end of Apr. beginning May i hired an assistant for a few hours a week, and it really helped to streamline my work. i started kungfu. Jun/Jul was MG work on top of everything else. i started therapy (after three years). Aug/Sept was prepping for and retaking the pbar. failed it by about 6 questions.
Oct 1st, i married David. the sweet and supportive and capable fellow that leaves me breathless with how wonderful he can be. he is the perfect life partner the ceremony was lovely. we blended Buddhist vows into a standard pagan handfasting, our people of honor invoked the elements, smitha and crystal played the han and leia theme on their instruments as the high priest and high priestess wrapped our joined hands together. dinner and the party was a blast. we had about 120 people there. two weeks later we went and ran the KC half marathon i'd been training for all spring and summer. 2:52, whoot!
October i caught up with work and prepped through till the end of nov for my third pbar exam. missed it by 2-3 questions this time. fuuuuuuck. trekking through Mordor with Frodo sounds more appealing at this point. i was going to drive dad down south and have david meet for xmas, but i can still squeeze in one more pbar exam, and hopefully pass, before 2017. so the amazing david is going to help dad head south and settle in for the winter, and i can study for the pbar. this test has been something else. i'm not used to failing exams, and certainly not used to retaking one this many times! i suppose this has been a good lesson in perseverance.
what else? i had a decent garden year, over all. EPIC tomatoes, 8 varieties. we made 30 qts of delicious sauce. kale, three varieties, are only just now getting ready to wrap up for the year. squash was a no-go. still no spinach. peppers were disappointing. started new garden areas (shade and wet gardens!), and continue to cultivate the wildflower areas.
We're halfway through my Conan campaign with my gaming group. it's been pretty fun. the group has been amazing, and i can't wait to see them finish. not enough other nerd time in my life. maybe next year.
i've logged over 100hrs of volunteer work with the Univ of Ill Extension Office Master Gardener program this year. almost half of that was my presentations for the summer science camp (plants in spaace!), crammed into about two months. :P i gave my fengshui and zen gardens presentation twice. plus all the co-chair stuff for the demonstration garden.
there was something else that happened. but i still don't want to talk about it. i still don't know what to say. it will eventually work itself out, but no time soon, apparently.
i'm still here. i'm putting one foot in front of the other and slogging my way through this mire. i will succeed, no matter how slow and incremental it feels this year. progress is progress. and i love a challenge!
i mean, it's been so long since i've posted on lj, so many things have happened. how do i even begin? i told my therapist that i was going to try to post something again. it was once a great way to just PROCESS, before i even used that term; to throw all my experiences and feelings out into the pit of the internet. whether they floated or sank, it was a release.
i've always been the sort to talk out my problems, but i suppose 'adulting' comes with the realization that you and your friends are all dealing with day to day shit, and it is exhausting and unfair to make them listen to all of it. So, you share less with others, and come to your friends when you are really struggling and need some extra emotional support; fine, but the need remained. i started on lj over ten years ago. it was an outlet through some significant life changes for me, to say the least.
This year, 2016, has been the hardest, busiest, likely most difficult year of my life to date. Not a BAD year, but a growing year. a productive year, and i've wanted to stay on top of it. and i have, but it has been a regular slug-fest.
the year started with almost losing my dad. hospital bedside, rehabilitation, the whole package. it was scary, but he seems to have made a full recovery. i think i'm still recovering from the stress of those three weeks. that was Feb. i came back and started studying for the pbar. i took it and failed at the end of Apr. beginning May i hired an assistant for a few hours a week, and it really helped to streamline my work. i started kungfu. Jun/Jul was MG work on top of everything else. i started therapy (after three years). Aug/Sept was prepping for and retaking the pbar. failed it by about 6 questions.
Oct 1st, i married David. the sweet and supportive and capable fellow that leaves me breathless with how wonderful he can be. he is the perfect life partner the ceremony was lovely. we blended Buddhist vows into a standard pagan handfasting, our people of honor invoked the elements, smitha and crystal played the han and leia theme on their instruments as the high priest and high priestess wrapped our joined hands together. dinner and the party was a blast. we had about 120 people there. two weeks later we went and ran the KC half marathon i'd been training for all spring and summer. 2:52, whoot!
October i caught up with work and prepped through till the end of nov for my third pbar exam. missed it by 2-3 questions this time. fuuuuuuck. trekking through Mordor with Frodo sounds more appealing at this point. i was going to drive dad down south and have david meet for xmas, but i can still squeeze in one more pbar exam, and hopefully pass, before 2017. so the amazing david is going to help dad head south and settle in for the winter, and i can study for the pbar. this test has been something else. i'm not used to failing exams, and certainly not used to retaking one this many times! i suppose this has been a good lesson in perseverance.
what else? i had a decent garden year, over all. EPIC tomatoes, 8 varieties. we made 30 qts of delicious sauce. kale, three varieties, are only just now getting ready to wrap up for the year. squash was a no-go. still no spinach. peppers were disappointing. started new garden areas (shade and wet gardens!), and continue to cultivate the wildflower areas.
We're halfway through my Conan campaign with my gaming group. it's been pretty fun. the group has been amazing, and i can't wait to see them finish. not enough other nerd time in my life. maybe next year.
i've logged over 100hrs of volunteer work with the Univ of Ill Extension Office Master Gardener program this year. almost half of that was my presentations for the summer science camp (plants in spaace!), crammed into about two months. :P i gave my fengshui and zen gardens presentation twice. plus all the co-chair stuff for the demonstration garden.
there was something else that happened. but i still don't want to talk about it. i still don't know what to say. it will eventually work itself out, but no time soon, apparently.
i'm still here. i'm putting one foot in front of the other and slogging my way through this mire. i will succeed, no matter how slow and incremental it feels this year. progress is progress. and i love a challenge!