Home is where the heart is, so it IS possible to have more than one.
Mama lives in Illinois and this is the first time I've HATED being so far away from her. I'm not saying I LIKED being away from her, but we've dealt with it really well. It was a rocky start since I moved out here during the Malibu fires and just before Northridge hit. I think Mama aged two extra years the first six months I lived here, but she understands that I need to live here. I'm a palm tree, not a corn stalk. Illinois just didn't have enough to keep me there. She used to mention me "coming home" and I'd correct her. "Mom, California IS my home. I'll come to visit you though."
Tuesday when I spoke to her, at the end of us venting our frustrations with her doctor, I told her "Mama, before you hang up, I need you to do something for me."
"Okay," she agreed without hesitation.
"On the 24th...?"
"Yeah...?"
"I need you to go to the airport."
"Why am I going to the airport," she asked me after an uncertain pause. I know she thinks I'm gonna try to get her on a plane to come out here. She's terrified of flying though.
"Because there's someone I'm gonna need you to pick up."
She hiccupped in my ear. "You're coming home?"
"Yeah, Mama," I answered, the thought of correcting her not even entering my mind, "I am."
She began sobbing on the phone and I had trouble keeping my own composure because she just kept repeating "Oh good! Oh good!"
I know she's been putting on a brave front for me and Josh. I know that her church friends have been a real godsend for her for some time so I thought perhaps she was leaning more on her faith and those friends and that it was giving her a lot of strength. I didn't realise until that moment though, how much she relies on me emotionally. That's okay though, because I didn't realise until she told me that she has cancer just how lost I will be when it's her time to go.
Tuesday when I spoke to her, at the end of us venting our frustrations with her doctor, I told her "Mama, before you hang up, I need you to do something for me."
"Okay," she agreed without hesitation.
"On the 24th...?"
"Yeah...?"
"I need you to go to the airport."
"Why am I going to the airport," she asked me after an uncertain pause. I know she thinks I'm gonna try to get her on a plane to come out here. She's terrified of flying though.
"Because there's someone I'm gonna need you to pick up."
She hiccupped in my ear. "You're coming home?"
"Yeah, Mama," I answered, the thought of correcting her not even entering my mind, "I am."
She began sobbing on the phone and I had trouble keeping my own composure because she just kept repeating "Oh good! Oh good!"
I know she's been putting on a brave front for me and Josh. I know that her church friends have been a real godsend for her for some time so I thought perhaps she was leaning more on her faith and those friends and that it was giving her a lot of strength. I didn't realise until that moment though, how much she relies on me emotionally. That's okay though, because I didn't realise until she told me that she has cancer just how lost I will be when it's her time to go.