Christmas Count Down: 2 | Pimp Post: Steel Ball Run
TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
But we must never forget
Christmas is about Jesus
in all his sexy glory~
And how he came down from heaven
to save us all~
BY TURNING WATER INTO WINE!!!
YEAAAAHHH PARTY!!!
if anyone needs me after I die, you know where to find me...
Steel Ball Run
The seventh installment of the Jojo's Bizarre Adventure series, it is set in an alternate version of 17th Century America. Which means cowboys, Indians, trains, guns and horse races. Yes, horse races. The Steel Ball Run is a race across America, from San Diego to New York, promising 50,000 dollars prize money to the winner. That plus the prestige of winning such a hardcore race, what frontiersman can resist? Enter Gyro Zeppeli, an mysterious foreign racer who fights not with guns, but with spinning steel balls (they're deadlier than you think) and Johnny Joestar, a paraplegic ex-famous jockey who wants another shot at things. What started as just an ordinary marathon horse race turned into a conspiracy of sorts, with them finding out that this race has another purpose in mind. Some of the racers have found themselves possessing strange powers called Stands, unique to each racer, which some have been using for their own gain. And apparently, the corpse of the holiest of all saints, one that could perform miracles after his death, is scattered across America. And someone wants these corpse parts, using the race as an alibi to get them in order to gain ultimate power.
Yeah, it's like some fabulous cowboys and Indians meet getsome Dragon Balls meet sheer mindfucking awesome meet sheer mindfuck.
Notable Characters include:
Gyro Zeppeli - a shout out to the Zeppeli family during the earlier Jojo's Bizarre Adventure arcs. He came from a family of royal executioners, doing their job without remorse. That was, until Gyro appeared. Having found himself ordered to kill a nine year old boy who was accused of treason, Gyro began to question his job. He brought the problem to court, to which the king said that he would consider freeing the boy if Gyro won the Steel Ball Run for his country's prestige. He is notable for having steel balls as his weapons (REALLY THEY'RE MORE KICKASS THAN THEY SEEM), his signature laugh, and having GO! GO! ZEPPELI tattooed on his teeth. He's also a giant troll. Really.
Johnny Joestar - nicknamed Joekid instead of the usual JoJo, a shout out to Jonathan Joestar, the first JoJo of the series. He was once a promising young jockey who just kept on winning. But he became arrogant and one day, ended up getting shot on the spine. Abandoned by his family, his friends and all that knew and loved him, he also lost the ability to walk and therefore the ability to ride a horse. Upon meeting Gyro and accidentally laying hand on his balls (LOLOLOL I mean the steel weapon ones clearly), the spin made him able to stand for a short period of time. Convinced that being with Gyro will end up with him learning how to walk again, he joined the Steel Ball Run.
Diego "Dio" Brando - a shout out to the infamous big bad guy of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Dio Brando. A famous British jockey, he started from being a slave of a rich family and did all that he could (by hook and by crook, as the saying goes) to reach the top, vowing revenge on all those who made him and his mother suffer in his early years. Vindictive and aggressive, he will do anything to win. He's the reason why we have the Raptor Jesus meme.
Sandman - an American Indian who races on his bare feet. Yeah, that's right! Who needs a horse when you're that in touch with motherfuckin' nature? He plans to use the money to buy off his tribe's land.
Pocoloco - a happy-go-lucky African American man who races with the help of confidence and sheer luck (really, that's his power). He plans to use the money to buy his family's farm.
Mountain Tim - a sheriff slash horse racer. He's gallant, brave, and not that bad looking.
Hot Pants - a foreign racer who seems to have an interest on the corpse parts.
Stephen Steel - a middle-aged eccentric who started the race in the first place.
Lucy Steel - Stephen's 14 year old wife. YEAH. YOU READ THAT RIGHT.
Artwise, Steel Ball Run is amazing, though the odd poses is something you have to get used to. (Dio posed 14 times during one conversation. We counted.) The battle sequences are unique, mind boggling and amazing. And the story? Compared to the previous arcs, this has clearer motivations for each character, making everybody memorable and easy to relate to.
JUST TRY IT BECAUSE IT'S KINDA LONELY FANGIRLING THIS BY MYSELF, OKAY? MAKE IT YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT TO ME! ;A; (Or you know... money is always an acceptable Christmas gift.)
Also, in case you're wondering why this is suitable pre-Christmas reading, guess who the holiest of saints is?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXmasXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I fully accept that this manga is absurd and yet very very awesome. For the sake of humor, I have collected some easily misinterpreted quotes from volume one. (Which means that you have to read volume 1 to get the seriousness of these lines.)
Easily Misinterpreted Quotes from SBR Volume 1
“My legs… the steel ball… I just touched it… that man’s…”
- Johnny Joestar, on his first time handling balls
Gyro: It was just a body reflex… and nothing more.
Johnny: Reflex my ass! That was the cause, after all!!! That “steel ball”… it was spinning… do you think I could do that again… !? (oh Johnny so eager) Just one more time! I’ll pay you! Just show me one more time!
Gyro: I’m done talking. *Gyro leaves*
Johnny: Then I’ll touch it again myself! (so very very eager)
- Johnny and Gyro on reflexing asses and paying for ball touches
“He’ll never ride it… not like that. But on the other hand, if he could ride it, he’ll go beyond human.”
- Gyro Zeppeli, on Johnny’s skill as a rider
“The truth about your “steel ball”… I won’t give up… I will figure it out… it’s in the spin…”
- Johnny Joestar, on Gyro’s “steel balls”, rickroll and meatspin
“Since I’m interested in you… I’ll give you a hint.”
- Gyro Zeppeli, on acknowledging feelings
“Again… again lick… lick my face…”
- Johnny Joestar, can’t get enough of that face licking feeling
“Gyro Zeppeli. Is he relying on that speed and stamina here?”
- Johnny Joestar can’t believe Gyro’s speed and stamina
Just a few more days 'til Christmas. Go go go!