Keep Our Loved Ones Close
Most or all of us tend to have more commitments as we grow older. We start to get busy with work, with friends, with romantic partner, own kids, and slowly start to have a life of our own while our own parents start to grow older at home, alone. We dont have to get married for all these to happen actually. Because i'm sure most of us already did neglect our parents often as we get busy with our own things,and tried to convince ourselves that "we're really busy ourselves, they should understand" to make us feel better and less guilty.
What exactly are we busy with?
Party with friends, seeing bf/gf every single day, work and sleep. All of these "look" so much more important than our parents, because they give us joy and laughters and satisfaction much more than accompanying them for a dinner or engaging conversations with them, as some of us would feel that parents wont and dont understand our world of thoughts. It sounds reasonable, but if we really take some time to think through it, all these are all nothing but excuses to justify our selfish doings. We are always doing what we want, just when have we spared a though for our parents to think through what they want? Maybe they're so close to us that we have taken them for granted. We pretty much assume that they will always be there at home. And their routine behaviours make us not interested to concern much. Even their words sound like nagging to us.
Why am i saying all these all of a sudden. I have never been irritated with how much my brother is spending time with his partner because i feel as long as hes happy i'm really alright. But when things happen at home, like now, i cant stop feeling angry why hasn he been spending more time at home and with my parents. If he is going to get married few years down the road, why cant he spend the time which he has now with my parents before officially committing to a new life, which probably means more drifting apart. Whats with having to see her 24/7, and when he comes back home twice a week, he would either be eating dinner and going his room to sleep, or eating meals and be in the room with her, when they have been seeing each other every day every hour.
If we break down our time spent in a week to a pie chart. What percentage of our time have we dedicated to our family? And to our friends? Or to our romantic partner? Or maybe work. If all these are the important components in our lives, then why are some people committing less than 5% of their time to parents. Then when things happen, they will start to regret and hate themselves why didn they spend more time when they could. Just like what happened to me when my grandpa passed away. I really hate myself why did i have to excuse myself to not pay him a visit on the basis of projects when i could. All i had to do was just to manage my time well. And i lost the opportunity to see his living self for the last time. The last time i saw him one week later was at the hospital bed when heart attack had taken him away from me.
I really miss him.
Ever since then i told myself i never want such regrets to happen to me again.
Commitments grow as we grow. On another hand, our maturity also grows to make us a better person to manage them well. At least, i hope this is what we should aim to be like. Because regrets will only follow throughout the rest of your life.
What exactly are we busy with?
Party with friends, seeing bf/gf every single day, work and sleep. All of these "look" so much more important than our parents, because they give us joy and laughters and satisfaction much more than accompanying them for a dinner or engaging conversations with them, as some of us would feel that parents wont and dont understand our world of thoughts. It sounds reasonable, but if we really take some time to think through it, all these are all nothing but excuses to justify our selfish doings. We are always doing what we want, just when have we spared a though for our parents to think through what they want? Maybe they're so close to us that we have taken them for granted. We pretty much assume that they will always be there at home. And their routine behaviours make us not interested to concern much. Even their words sound like nagging to us.
Why am i saying all these all of a sudden. I have never been irritated with how much my brother is spending time with his partner because i feel as long as hes happy i'm really alright. But when things happen at home, like now, i cant stop feeling angry why hasn he been spending more time at home and with my parents. If he is going to get married few years down the road, why cant he spend the time which he has now with my parents before officially committing to a new life, which probably means more drifting apart. Whats with having to see her 24/7, and when he comes back home twice a week, he would either be eating dinner and going his room to sleep, or eating meals and be in the room with her, when they have been seeing each other every day every hour.
If we break down our time spent in a week to a pie chart. What percentage of our time have we dedicated to our family? And to our friends? Or to our romantic partner? Or maybe work. If all these are the important components in our lives, then why are some people committing less than 5% of their time to parents. Then when things happen, they will start to regret and hate themselves why didn they spend more time when they could. Just like what happened to me when my grandpa passed away. I really hate myself why did i have to excuse myself to not pay him a visit on the basis of projects when i could. All i had to do was just to manage my time well. And i lost the opportunity to see his living self for the last time. The last time i saw him one week later was at the hospital bed when heart attack had taken him away from me.
I really miss him.
Ever since then i told myself i never want such regrets to happen to me again.
Commitments grow as we grow. On another hand, our maturity also grows to make us a better person to manage them well. At least, i hope this is what we should aim to be like. Because regrets will only follow throughout the rest of your life.