Virtue of Communication
Today my professor answered one of my doubts which i had secretly in heart.
You know many times i have heard people splitting up with their partner and giving 'personality mismatch' as one of the main reasons for the break up. Even for myself, i would often wonder is it because Mj and i were not suitable afterall and thats why we couldnt see and solve things together. When we were always quarrelling during the last 2 months in the relationship, there were times i asked myself what the hell exactly happened between us. Why we couldnt stop fighting. Are we are not suitable? And i refused to accept it, because it makes absolutely no sense for 2 people to get together for so long and only realized we werent suitable for each other after years. Right?
So my prof happened to talk about this exact incident and explained why.
It isnt personality mismatch. It is a failure to communicate. One critical element of a break up is a lack of communication.
Why couples can get through obstacles and problems is because they know how to communicate in the right manner and talk things out well. Both of them seek solutions together to meet both of their needs and goals. But when there is a break down of communication, things just seem to be all wrong no matter what. Suddenly we realize we dontk what the other party wants. Suddenly we feel the other person doesnt understand us. And suddenly, we start questioning if we are suitable at all. See, the evil of the lack of communication.
Ive always known communication is an important factor in maintaining a relationship. But it didn struck me this hard till now. Of cos, communication isnt just referring to 'talking'. It refers to so much more. It is talking and listening, and understanding the other person's needs while conveying your needs to other person too. It isnt just about talking crap.
Love this prof. Lol.
oh ya, my classmate told me i look too unapproachable and guys do not dare to approach me. He said if i continue to be like this i am going to scare away many potential guys. Please, not like i want it right. Well then those who dare to approach are usually the more confident ones already. Quite true actually. Most of them also have ego problems. He should be glad he knows me lo. LOL.
I am already a very friendly person. I cant do much if i just happen to look 'unapproachable' to people.
You know many times i have heard people splitting up with their partner and giving 'personality mismatch' as one of the main reasons for the break up. Even for myself, i would often wonder is it because Mj and i were not suitable afterall and thats why we couldnt see and solve things together. When we were always quarrelling during the last 2 months in the relationship, there were times i asked myself what the hell exactly happened between us. Why we couldnt stop fighting. Are we are not suitable? And i refused to accept it, because it makes absolutely no sense for 2 people to get together for so long and only realized we werent suitable for each other after years. Right?
So my prof happened to talk about this exact incident and explained why.
It isnt personality mismatch. It is a failure to communicate. One critical element of a break up is a lack of communication.
Why couples can get through obstacles and problems is because they know how to communicate in the right manner and talk things out well. Both of them seek solutions together to meet both of their needs and goals. But when there is a break down of communication, things just seem to be all wrong no matter what. Suddenly we realize we dontk what the other party wants. Suddenly we feel the other person doesnt understand us. And suddenly, we start questioning if we are suitable at all. See, the evil of the lack of communication.
Ive always known communication is an important factor in maintaining a relationship. But it didn struck me this hard till now. Of cos, communication isnt just referring to 'talking'. It refers to so much more. It is talking and listening, and understanding the other person's needs while conveying your needs to other person too. It isnt just about talking crap.
Love this prof. Lol.
oh ya, my classmate told me i look too unapproachable and guys do not dare to approach me. He said if i continue to be like this i am going to scare away many potential guys. Please, not like i want it right. Well then those who dare to approach are usually the more confident ones already. Quite true actually. Most of them also have ego problems. He should be glad he knows me lo. LOL.
I am already a very friendly person. I cant do much if i just happen to look 'unapproachable' to people.