Return to Innocence
As we grow, our lives change. It’s a fact, right? Everyone knows this. From innocent babe relying on our mother we turn into playful child. Soon, we start focusing on things we’ve never seen before. It’s different for everyone, but somehow the same. Noticing truths that aren’t spoon-fed to us. Some immediately notice the layout of society and see the hierarchy. They stake a claim in what they view as appropriate. It could be the musical star in every play at school. Or perhaps it’s the wallflower, quiet. Afraid of too much interaction, still biding time to make a decision. We turn to walk different forks in the road we craft. We inevitably shape and make our own lives. In fact, we probably don’t even know how we are maneuvering through the vines and weeds until we look back and see where we came from. Now what about beyond hierarchy? Isn’t there an inner hierarchy? I would say it’s less of a hierarchy, and more of a game. We make the mistake of thinking we are no longer children. All of our lives, we will be children, even when we are wrinkled and toothless.
At a certain age, when we start separating ourselves from childhood and when we want so much to be an adult, that’s when it happens. What is ‘it’ you may ask? It’s the separation. We throw away our innate ways of being. Being innocent is having no need to fear yourself. Following suit as those in front of you do is natural. It’s another survival mechanism that keeps us growing and prospering. Follow the leader. Be sociably viable. Be as others are. It is how it’s done. It’s in our cells to watch others walk and somehow learn to do so too. However, is everything we follow the best way? That’s why we have so many choices. Many times these choices aren’t even considered, and the norm is used in place. So, what does this have to do with trusting yourself? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Confidence is important, but self-trust is the cornerstone to that. When one is a young child, they don’t think to themselves “Maybe I’m making this mud pie incorrectly.” It’s the same reason they knew that Santa wanted chocolate chip instead of peanut butter cookies. They just know…even if the parents say otherwise. The innocence that comes with how the child does what they do makes the difference. It isn’t based on logic of adulthood. It isn’t exactly logical at all. Do you remember being so confident as a youngster about some things and then suddenly your confidence was shot by someone saying ‘you’re doing that wrong’ or ‘it’ll break if you make that fort that way.’ I know I was hurt that way. Being told I was wrong made me question myself too much. So much so, that I listened for others opinions before accepting my own as even plausible. That’s the time that we start really following others, in middle childhood. Some children do not follow well and end up as outcasts of a sort early on. I wasn’t exactly an outcast. I didn’t belong to any group until I was in middle school. I would be by myself most of the time and was always chosen last or second to last (usually last) for kickball. This was my decision, little did I know at the time. Despite my low confidence, there was a part of me that didn’t want to bend to the groups. I figure there just wasn’t a group I felt connected with then and I didn’t want to compromise who I was. I generally liked myself the way I was. Starting early like that, you don’t have the same connections I think like the other kids. People don’t want to open up the older they get. It’s harder and makes them think about changing. People as a whole do not like change. It’s uncomfortable and awkward. Often, it makes us feel helpless. So, we need to think back to innocence.
Innocence is feeling the shelter of knowing everything will be alright eventually. Time isn’t important, only creating or laughing. Innocence is imagination and play. Simple and not colored with bias or strange social rituals to get to know each other. Its nature, in a way, can lead to a raw form of socialization. Innocence can recognize itself in others. No matter how old you get, your inner child lives on. Frequently, it is accompanied by joy and sadness. Quite often, joy can win out quickly and sadness banished after any act of compassion. Meek? Innocence is not meek, but can hide behind meek until you feel it’s true self. Innocence can disarm anger. It can even become a shelter.
Sometimes innocence can be burdened too long. With those who are outcasts, innocence can grow a great deal or can be nearly quashed. They find strength within themselves somehow or another. If you ignore the sad innocence experienced by a neglected child, the child could find themselves becoming numb to emotion altogether. Sad innocence, though less common than the joyous counterpart, is as important if not more so. As a fellow human being, showing compassion in an early time in a sad child’s life can release it so that the child can live well and not push away emotion, hence innocence as well. The child can have a sporting chance in society, learn better tools to blend in or stand out. Make their own decisions and feel more confident about themselves.
So, here we are. Adults. We’ve made so many turns on our road, we must be far from the core trunk that started us out in the beginning, right? Nope! What we keep forgetting to remember is that we can move toward any goal, backward forward, left or right. Our tree is more of a circle. We can’t really change time or the past, but we can return to what we knew. Like the song, it’s a Return to Innocence. Many think that true wisdom comes from the very very young and the very very old. Some think it has to do with the fact that these people are so close to birth and death that they are that much closer to God. I think that has merit, but I think that it’s possible that as a child we didn’t know to follow others and as an old one we’ve released ourselves from that obligation and naturally fall into that sort of peaceful surrender.
Innocence has a place in everyone, no matter who you are or what you’ve done. Innocence in its purest form negates regret. Really, there is no confidence, only action. It is more powerful than confidence. It is the Knowing that children possess. That is why we must learn to live a childlike life, or our regrets will fill us with grief for the saddened child we call ourselves.