A few moments
Despite me needing urgently to sleep...but first shower, I wanted to write in here. I dreamed last night that I couldn't find a job and had to go back to high school. I was treated like an adolescent that had nothing to offer (no offense adolescents). I got angry and yelled at all of the other students there that thought they knew everything. (it was a snobby school where everyone looked down on me) I knew they didn't know everything, because I knew that I didn't know everything and I was a college graduate. Well, then, a man stood up that I didn't recognize at first and he smiled at me. He said that he liked to blend in with the students as well at times...to get a better look at things or something like that. I looked at him and saw that he was indeed older than me. I said that I thought he was the teacher for the class and he said I was right and started teaching. It was a stressfull dream. I felt like I had gone 2 steps forward 12 steps back. It was familiar, but, I didn' t want to go through that again.
I figure it has to do with me not being able to find a full time job yet. Also, I realized that in exactly one month and one day and 12 hours I will be 26. Now, I'm always the one saying "it's just a number" and it is. It really is just a number. It's the fact that I'm still not out of my mother's house and independent at that age that bothers me. However, I think I'm coming to terms with that. It's normal to have such feelings after graduating and being in between a normal schedule. So, anyway, that's what's going on. (by the way, I plan on celebrating my birthday loud and proud. I'm getting over this b.s. called frightened-aging-syndrome)
On a good note, I wrote. It was only three pages, but I wrote. It felt so good to write. I don't think it is as good as my previous work in one of my books I'm writing, but it felt so good to finish a scene I've been contemplating so long. I'm so tired right now.
Goodnight friends. Thank you for listening to my insanity.