yours truly (collab)
originally posted by judysaurus at Yours Truly [Collab]
title: yours truly
pairing: cnu/jinyoung
rating: nc-17
word count: 5,801
a/n: a collaboration fic with judysaurus! i don't think it would have ever existed if we didn't have each other to lean on. this fic is sequel of sorts to " irresistible." disclaimer: we are not responsible for the instantaneous decay of teeth due to cavity inducing feels thank you and enjoy.
“i can’t see anything.” jinyoung says as dongwoo ties a blindfold over his eyes. he takes a hesitant step forward with his hands blindly stretched out in front of him, grasping nothing but air. it’s a little unnerving, having nothing to go by except his sense of touch and sound, but he knows dongwoo is nearby, and jinyoung trusts him.
“good, that’s the point.” dongwoo replies, taking jinyoung by the hand, guiding him along the connecting sidewalk.
dongwoo had booked a hotel suite for him and jinyoung hours ago and had prepared everything for the special occasion, valentine’s day. without saying a word, he had arranged for jinyoung to meet him next door at a tiny café so he would be unsuspecting.
it’s cold out and leftover snow still blankets the ground, crunching beneath their footsteps. jinyoung shivers in the frigid air and dongwoo squeezes his hand, walking a little faster. jinyoung has no idea what’s going on, but decides against asking questions ever since the shower incident a few days prior.
they walk into a building, and dongwoo holds the door for him as jinyoung cautiously steps in. there are voices all around him, muted conversations in the background, and jinyoung vaguely wonders what he must look like at that moment, blindfolded with dongwoo leading him around.
“since we’re inside now, can you remove the blindfold?” jinyoung asks, reaching up a hand to tug at the cloth covering his eyes. “i feel ridiculous,” jinyoung grumbles under his breath.
“not yet, besides we’re almost there,” dongwoo replies, lowering jinyoung’s hand.
“dongwoo, i didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff,” jinyoung teases, keeping his voice low as dongwoo walks next to him with a guiding hand on his waist.
“that’s not what the blindfold is for,” dongwoo says, but then he leans in close, breath hot against jinyoung’s ear when he whispers, “at least not this time.”
jinyoung’s step falters for a moment, and his face flushes with embarrassment at dongwoo’s words. he doesn’t ask any more questions, regretting his last words, and he feels himself being led left and right, up an elevator and down a hallway. he’s about to take another step when dongwoo abruptly stops him, and jinyoung stands there, listening to the familiar swipe of a keycard unlocking a door. dongwoo unbinds the blindfold and jinyoung finally opens his eyes, blinking as his eyes adjust to a dimly lit hotel room. there are rose petals strewn all across the floor, making up a trail that leads into the bathroom.
“what’s this all about?” jinyoung asks, still confused. dongwoo doesn’t reply, quietly escorting him along the rose petal trail (which he had spent time on perfecting - scattering candles and strewing more rose petals, finding the right bath salts, etc).
when dongwoo opens the bathroom door, jinyoung gasps softly as he takes everything in. puffs of steam roll out of the room, swirl around his body and warm his skin. the scent of something sweet and soothing fills the air and jinyoung breathes it in, doesn’t realize how tense he is until he feels his muscles relax. in the corner there’s a large, deep set bathtub with a mountain of white bubbles floating on the water. against the pearl tiles, two glasses of red wine stand along the rim of the tub, ready and waiting.
“what’s this for, dongwoo?” jinyoung asks again, completely stunned and in awe. he watches as dongwoo dims the room, lighting a few candles that are strewn about, the flickering light dancing off the tiles. “did you do this all for me?”
“i just wanted to do something special. you deserve to be treated to something nice,” dongwoo replies, smiling shyly. “we don’t get a whole lot of privacy…and i wish i could do more for you without the excuse of a holiday-” he rambles until jinyoung cuts him off with a kiss, arms finding their way around dongwoo’s neck.
jinyoung thinks this is the best surprise he’s ever received; it’s romantic, like a scene from jinyoung’s favorite movies, the sappy ones that he makes dongwoo watch with him, yet somehow it has dongwoo’s name written all over it, making the atmosphere of the room completely their own.
“so, do you like it?” dongwoo pulls him close, lowering his head to meet jinyoung’s gaze.
“i love it,” jinyoung replies breathlessly, closing his eyes and brushing against dongwoo’s nose.
dongwoo’s lips descend down, meeting jinyoung’s and he runs his tongue across jinyoung’s bottom lip, hands sliding under his shirt, pressing into the soft, warm skin. he fumbles with the buttons on jinyoung’s shirt, and jinyoung feels shy when the fabric slips off his shoulders. jinyoung’s skin seems to glow under the candlelight, and dongwoo is in awe, skimming his fingers over defined collarbones, across the delicate curve of jinyoung’s neck, watching as jinyoung shivers.
it’s not their first time, but there’s something different about this occasion, about not doing it in some closet, not rushing to get each other off, or worrying about getting caught. this time it’s slow, intimate, with time stretching out endlessly before the two of them.
jinyoung tugs at dongwoo’s shirt, lifting it over his shoulders, but ends up getting it caught around dongwoo’s head. dongwoo pulls it off the rest of the way, his hair sticking up at odd angles.
“sorry,” jinyoung says meekly, one hand smoothing out dongwoo’s hair.
“you don’t have to be nervous, it’s just me,” dongwoo quirks his lips upward into a familiar grin, and jinyoung’s heart skips a beat.
“i know,” jinyoung mumbles, averting his gaze downward as he reaches to undo dongwoo’s belt. his palms are clammy as he fiddles with the zipper, but he manages to work the pants down, eyes widening when he realizes dongwoo isn’t wearing anything underneath.
“i couldn’t find my favorite pair...” dongwoo offers, a weak response to jinyoung’s questioning look. jinyoung is quiet when his own pants drop to the floor, leaving dongwoo to stare at jinyoung’s choice of underwear.
“you’re wearing mine?” dongwoo asks, and jinyoung regrets pulling them on this morning when dongwoo cups him through the thin fabric, rubbing a thumb across the teddy bears printed over the crotch. “that explains why they weren’t in my drawer this morning.”
normally dongwoo would question the hygiene of sharing underwear, but with jinyoung he finds that he doesn’t mind as much, and the idea of jinyoung in his clothes actually turns him on.
“my laundry was in the wash this morning so i thought i’d just...” jinyoung rambles in defense, trailing off as he avoids dongwoo’s eyes.
“they look good on you, just a little loose,” dongwoo notes, eyeing the waistband hanging loosely around jinyoung’s hips. he brushes a hand against the skin under jinyoung’s navel, barely touching the fabric before it slips easily to jinyoung’s ankles. “they look even better on the floor.”
jinyoung feels his face heat up, cheeks matching the shade of his hair, and he looks away from dongwoo, wishing he could fall through the floor right then. dongwoo finds it adorable and chuckles, leading him towards the bath.
dongwoo holds his hand as jinyoung steps in first, hot, steaming water swirling around his legs. jinyoung lowers himself into the water and hisses through his teeth because the water is so hot, so perfect and he sighs as he lets the heat soak into his skin, into his muscles. he doesn’t think it could get any hotter, but when dongwoo settles down behind him, jinyoung gasps at the feeling of dongwoo’s bare skin against his back, setting his body on fire, scorching hot in a way that sends jinyoung reeling.
the water forms miniature waves around their bodies as dongwoo shifts behind him, pulling jinyoung in between his legs. with a washcloth in hand, dongwoo rubs in small, rhythmic circles across the back of jinyoung’s shoulders. dongwoo notices the way jinyoung seems to stiffen under his touch, muscles taut under the wet skin.
“relax,” he murmurs, feathering a kiss to the back of jinyoung’s neck, feeling jinyoung tremble slightly under his lips. “this is just like any other ordinary bath.”
“ordinary,” jinyoung rolls the word off his tongue, testing it. there isn’t anything ordinary about this moment, how his heart wants to burst every time dongwoo’s skin slides against his, how no one but dongwoo has ever made him feel this way, as if he were special, someone worth treasuring. nothing is ever ordinary with dongwoo, and jinyoung thinks every day they live through, every moment they share together, is extraordinary.
“are you still sore from that shower the other night?” dongwoo asks, nonchalant.
“a little,” jinyoung admits, letting out a soft chuckle. “why? is this another one of your brilliant schemes?”
“it wasn’t… unless you want it to be?” dongwoo answers quietly, hands stilling on jinyoung’s lower back.
it’s silent for a moment, except for the sound of dissolving bubbles, and jinyoung’s hand moving through the water, mindlessly parting the bubbles. he plays with the idea, wondering what it’d be like if dongwoo took him right then, in the water, in this perfect candlelit room, and suddenly jinyoung feels a pleasant heat pooling somewhere in the pit of his stomach. he blushes hard, hoping the dim light hides how red the tips of his ears must be, and quickly distracts himself by gathering more bubbles around him, strategically arranging bubbles over his growing erection, thankful this is a bubble bath.
dongwoo observes jinyoung poke a bubble, then another. an old memory pops into his mind, before his crush on jinyoung had developed during baby goodnight. they were at a photoshoot, each member had been requested to sit in a tub, but only jinyoung’s turn had called for bubbles. he didn’t think jinyoung knew, but he had watched in the shadow of an empty doorway, watched jinyoung’s slender fingers chase the bubbles floating around his head, smiling each time he caught one. dongwoo felt intrusive, like he was seeing a part of jinyoung that was rarely ever seen, but unsure why when there were at least three cameras focused on jinyoung. it was something about seeing their leader play around so freely, unlike the jinyoung who would easily get embarrassed when asked to do such things. dongwoo had felt his cheeks grow warm, slowly slipping from the scene to see what havoc junghwan was wreaking.
the memory is interrupted when jinyoung abruptly twists his body to face dongwoo, bubbles gathered in his palms, his lips drawn in close as he lightly puffs, sending bubbles into dongwoo’s face. dongwoo instinctively shuts his eyes, preventing the suds from stinging them, smiling at the tingling feeling of the bubbles dispersing against his face.
when dongwoo opens his eyes, he notices a smear of white on his nose, slightly blocking his view of jinyoung looking up at him with a soft smile. with one hand tilting dongwoo’s chin, jinyoung brushes the suds away with a gentle kiss to dongwoo’s nose, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. when jinyoung’s eyes flutter shut, dongwoo leans in to press feather light kisses to each eyelid.
“what are those for?” jinyoung asks, the two wine glasses sitting along the edge of the bathtub becoming visible in his peripheral vision.
“to drink,” dongwoo states plainly. “what else would the be there for, decoration?” he says, picking up the two cups, handing the other to jinyoung.
“we rarely drink,” jinyoung says, swishing the the wine around.
“afraid you still can’t hold your alcohol, halbae?” dongwoo teases, recalling the last time they, junghwan and sunwoo had drank together. jinyoung was the most lightweight of them all, and tipsy within half an hour, he’d gone off on some tangent about dongwoo’s lips and how they looked soft, and kissed him to see if he was right, didn’t stop kissing him the rest of the night. jinyoung had wound up draped, half naked-clad only in his underwear- across dongwoo the next morning. the others made sure to tell jinyoung everything that happened the second he’d woken up shocked to find himself sprawled out on top of dongwoo, but they eventually put it aside, assuming it was the alcohol, but dongwoo felt more. “i remember,” jinyoung had said later that day when they were alone. “you do have soft lips.” he’d leaned in, giving a shy kiss to the corner of dongwoo’s lips. it was the moment dongwoo realized he had a crush.
jinyoung chuckles, lifting the glass to his nose, getting a sense of how it smells before he takes a tentative sip, smacking his lips together a few times, determining whether or not he cares for for it. he takes another sip, decides it has a pleasant taste, a tiny bitter, but it’s smooth going down his throat. besides, knowing dongwoo, he probably purchased an expensive bottle just for the occasion.
jinyoung comfortably leans back onto dongwoo, allowing his head to rest in the crook of dongwoo’s neck. dongwoo settles his arms around jinyoung’s body, the pads of his fingers carefully sliding downward, and he feels jinyoung shudder in response. dongwoo likes the way jinyoung’s body fits perfectly against his, loves the angles and curves of jinyoung that no one else ever gets to see.
thoughtlessly, dongwoo traces jinyoung’s body, his fingers ghost over jinyoung’s nipples, inadvertently teasing them, feeling one perk up in response to his touch. jinyoung is immersed in the feeling, eyes fighting to stay open, and he’s unable to recall a time his body has ever been this relaxed. he goes to take another sip of wine, his glass half gone, when dongwoo drops the washcloth back into the water and picks his half empty glass back up, dipping in his index finger.
“open,” dongwoo says, perching his finger against jinyoung’s lips. he slips his finger in as jinyoung parts them slightly, sucking the faint, bittersweet flavor and vaguely wondering which is wine and which is dongwoo’s taste.
dipping his finger in the wine a second time, dongwoo adds another finger, swirls in languid circles before bringing them to jinyoung again, lips parted readily. there’s something mesmerizing in the way jinyoung’s lips gleam, red, wet and plump, something seductive in the way jinyoung slides his tongue along the length of his fingers, attentive and eager.
jinyoung curls his hand around dongwoo’s wrist, pulls out his fingers slowly, panting warm, shallow breaths over the skin, leaving a fine trail of wetness moistening dongwoo’s fingers. jinyoung’s eyes are cast downward, inspecting his work; his left brow quirks up in amusement before he guides dongwoo’s hand, fingers stretched out to brush against his own slightly parted lips.
dongwoo’s eyes widen in surprise, feeling his own fingers slide past his teeth, against his tongue. it’s strange and oddly intimate, dongwoo thinks, lapping jinyoung’s taste from his fingers as jinyoung watches him with curious eyes.
“how is it?” jinyoung asks, voice honeyed, trying to maintain a straight face.
dongwoo slowly slips his fingers out of his mouth, trailing them along his lower lip. “a little slimy,” he teases, deflecting jinyoung’s attempt at sounding seductive. he grins, jinyoung feigns an eye roll, and the moment is broken.
hands slipping under the water, dongwoo searches for the sunken washcloth, smiling when his fingers occasionally brush against jinyoung’s legs. suddenly, finding the cloth doesn’t seem so important anymore, not when his hands slide along the side of jinyoung’s thighs in a way that has jinyoung leaning into him, melting against his body. dongwoo rests his head in the curve of jinyoung’s neck, watching from the corner of his eye, how jinyoung’s eyelashes cast long, delicate shadows across his cheeks, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting open.
jinyoung arches back when dongwoo’s hands slide over his inner thighs, alternating between skimming, squeezing, and fingers digging into his skin. he lets out a quiet little noise, and dongwoo wants to hear more, wants to know how many other sounds he can coax out of jinyoung. dongwoo maps the curve of jinyoung’s hips, fingers tracing careless patterns against the smooth expanse of jinyoung’s middle, and in one, selfish moment, he can’t help but think, “mine” as his hands fit so perfectly around jinyoung’s delicate waist.
“dongwoo...” jinyoung turns his head to murmur low and breathless right against dongwoo’s ear, and something about jinyoung’s voice, soft, pleading, has dongwoo throbbing with want. dongwoo’s hand slides down, brushing against hardened flesh, and jinyoung involuntarily grinds his hips down, craving friction against dongwoo’s body.
“look at me,” dongwoo whispers, not in any way demanding, but as more of a quiet request, and it sends a cool shiver along jinyoung’s spine, the back of his neck prickling. jinyoung obeys and eases himself around, shuddering ever so slightly when dongwoo pulls him into his lap.
“are you sure you want to do this?” dongwoo asks, voice filled with genuine concern as he looks up into jinyoung’s eyes.
“why, afraid you can’t handle it?” jinyoung teases, hands sliding leisurely over dongwoo’s shoulders, lacing together against the nape of his neck.
“i’m not the one who’s still sore,” dongwoo points out, but jinyoung ignores the statement and continues to grind his hips in slow, small circles, lips quirking up in a pleased smile when he feels dongwoo harden underneath him. dongwoo shudders, enjoying the way jinyoung’s body fits against his, like the sky and the sea, blue against clear blue, skin on wet skin.
jinyoung presses up against dongwoo, running his tongue across the arc of his lower lip, tugging at it between his own. dongwoo distracts him with slow, heated open mouth kisses as his hand reaches for a small bottle hidden in the shadows, and jinyoung doesn’t notice dongwoo’s hand slipping from the small of his back, down the curve of his ass, pressing a slick finger to his entrance. somewhere in the deep recesses of jinyoung's mind, the tiniest, barely functional part that isn’t completely consumed with thoughts of how perfect dongwoo’s lips feel against his, wonders when dongwoo had time to sneak in lube. probably sometime in between the slide of their hips and when the breathless noises started spilling from his mouth, jinyoung figures.
when dongwoo slides a finger in, jinyoung whimpers against his lips, hands squeezing one of his shoulders and dongwoo pulls back for a moment.
“shhh...” dongwoo murmurs, nestling his other hand around jinyoung’s waist, holding him steady. “it’ll be okay, more than okay.” he eases another finger in, swiveling around before he curls them up and hooks, hitting a spot that has jinyoung shuddering involuntarily, lips parting with a soundless gasp. dongwoo goes slow, works his fingers in and out at a comfortable pace, presses kisses to jinyoung’s shoulder as he patiently waits for him to relax and loosen up.
it doesn’t take long before jinyoung is rocking his hips down again, getting dongwoo’s fingers deeper each time, but it’s still not enough, it’s never enough, and jinyoung’s hands tangle themselves in dongwoo’s hair, tugging urgently, desperate for more. dongwoo doesn’t say anything when he slides his fingers out, pushes down on the small of jinyoung’s back until he’s positioned right over his length.
dongwoo slicks himself up with whatever lube remains on his fingers before jinyoung feels him shift and push inside, gently and agonizingly slow. so very slow that jinyoung squints his eyes shut and it's enough to elicit several suppressed moans out of his mouth. jinyoung pants, sweat dripping, hands gripping dongwoo's wet shoulders, and he slips down onto dongwoo effortlessly, water making their bodies slide together easily. it feels good though, and jinyoung begins rubbing down, deepening himself and starts to grind against dongwoo, circling his hips. jinyoung is tight around dongwoo and hot, so much hotter than the water, and it has dongwoo hissing through his teeth. a muted whimper escapes from dongwoo's mouth, and jinyoung feels dongwoo's fingers dig into his side, gripping for support to keep his hips from jerking forward.
it isn't much longer before they find a rhythm to match each other, and jinyoung rides him slow, so torturously slow that dongwoo feels he could come undone right then because jinyoung's so hot and wet, clenching around him, tighter each time he rocks against him. dongwoo breathes a moan into jinyoung's shoulder as jinyoung eases down, taking in dongwoo's length completely.
and suddenly for the first time, jinyoung doesn’t know what he should be doing, where his hands should be, what expression he should make, where to look. (should he keep his eyes closed? or look at dongwoo, risk the possibility of having dongwoo glance at the deepest part of himself?). facing dongwoo makes him feel self-conscious, exposed, so he buries his face against dongwoo’s neck, trying to mask his embarrassment, and muffle his sounds, all the embarrassing whines that dongwoo seems to make a goal to draw out of him.
“don’t hide,” dongwoo pulls jinyoung back, staring into his eyes. “i want to watch you.” he leans his forehead slightly against jinyoung’s, never breaking eye contact. “you’re so beautiful like this.”
jinyoung’s cheeks flush red, thoroughly embarrassed, and he wants to hide again, but dongwoo’s hands are cupping his cheeks, so gently, so tenderly, jinyoung doesn’t have the heart to move away. dongwoo kisses him lightly at first, and jinyoung presses forward for more, sighing into it when dongwoo tilts his chin, slipping his tongue past jinyoung’s parted lips. a whine makes its way from jinyoung’s mouth as he sinks himself deeper onto dongwoo, shuddering and digging his nails into dongwoo’s shoulders. the water is lukewarm by now, but dongwoo feels hot against him, and the friction between them is enough to keep jinyoung sweating and panting for air.
the water rushes back and forth in the tub with their movements, and the motion of jinyoung's hips are fluid, smooth, like waves rolling against the shore, pulling dongwoo deeper with each swell. a memory washes over dongwoo, the two of them at the beach watching the waves ripple and crash, jinyoung holding his fingers under the sand. in unison, jinyoung and dongwoo had looked over their shoulders to steal a glance, to see if the other members were paying attention to them, the both of them feeling slightly exposed in the open expanse of the beach. for the moment it seemed they were still safe, still a secret, no skepticism about their closeness. dongwoo watched as chansik and sunwoo were off to to the side poking their fingers in the sand, writing names and taking pictures. watched as junghwan ran around shouting like crazy, screaming, “help me!” as a dozen seagulls swooped around over his head and snapped at him, wanting the food in his hands that he had tried to share, until the seagulls became too frightening. jinyoung chuckled beside dongwoo as they continued to sit there, hands entwined and hidden under the cool sand, remaining that way until the sun slowly began to sink into the sea. a lot of things remind dongwoo of moments he and jinyoung shared.
dongwoo trails kisses up and down jinyoung's neck, nibbling here, licking there, and when his lips brush over jinyoung's sensitive adam's apple, a small moan escapes. dongwoo kisses harder, pressing against the spot that makes jinyoung dig his nails deeper into dongwoo's skin, a reflexive mewl leaving his lips. when dongwoo begins to suck, the adam's apple bobs against his lips, and jinyoung throws his head back, the most obscene noises echoing off the tiled walls. under his lips, dongwoo feels the quiver of jinyoung’s voice, words that sound vaguely like “please” spilling helplessly from his lips.
dongwoo traces his fingers lasciviously along jinyoung's delicate body, memorizing the way jinyoung's skin feels, smooth and wet, like silk beneath his fingers, feels the goosebumps prickle as his fingers graze along his chest. he presses a palm to the back of jinyoung’s shoulder, runs his hand down jinyoung’s back, revels in the fact that he has all the time in the world to explore, to touch, feel, kiss every untouched spot that jinyoung gives to him, and only him.
"dongwoo, please..." jinyoung breathes, and he shudders when dongwoo continues sliding his hand up jinyoung's sides, dongwoo's big, warm hands holding his hips in place. looking him in the eyes, dongwoo thrusts his hips up, gripping jinyoung to keep him in place, and jinyoung lets out a high pitched moan, the friction and the sheer deepness sending him reeling.
reduced to nothing more than a whimpering mess at dongwoo's touch, jinyoung instinctively tucks his head into the crook of dongwoo's neck once more, from the sheer magnitude of everything that consumes him, not the exertion he feels, he craves the touch of dongwoo's skin against his cheek and his lips that he presses tenderly to dongwoo's neck.
“jinyoung…” dongwoo hisses when jinyoung sinks onto him slowly, pushing all his weight down until he can’t do any more, shaking his head when he doesn’t have the strength to lift himself again. “i’ve got you.” dongwoo murmurs softly, hands sliding underneath jinyoung, cupping the back of his thighs, guiding him along, and jinyoung is gone, arms loosely slung over dongwoo’s shoulders.
dongwoo pulls back from jinyoung, a feeling he can only identify as pure adoration suddenly shoots through him, goosebumps form, prickling on the surface of his skin, making him shiver. instinctively, his hands find their way to gently frame jinyoung’s face, lips grazing against jinyoung’s forehead, then his nose, and jinyoung’s eyelids flutter shut of their own accord at his touch. dongwoo brushes against his lips once more, deepening the kiss, their tongues swiping against each other. it feels as if dongwoo’s been flung off a cliff and into the ocean, waves crashing all around and over him, drowning him, waiting on his impending death, he’s gasping and shouting but no one is there to rescue him. dongwoo is suddenly jolted with shock at the realization that he actually has no intention of fighting off the waves crashing over him, and he would willingly accept this as his death if it meant he could get this feeling coursing through his veins every time he kissed jinyoung.
“jinyoung, i lo-,” dongwoo stops himself, swallows his words when he realizes what he’s about to say. of course he wants nothing more than to tell jinyoung how he feels, how much he loves him, but it’s not the right time, not now. he doesn’t want it to come off obligatory, to have his words lose meaning, to have it mistaken for being caught up within the moment. his arms are wrapped tightly around jinyoung’s back, clinging to him as though he were the last person on earth. honestly, jinyoung might as well be, he’s the only person in the world dongwoo wants to spend the rest of his life with. “i wish you were mine,” dongwoo murmurs in jinyoung’s ear instead, lips softly nibbling, his voice full of want - need.
“y-you have me, i’m already yours,” jinyoung replies hoarsely, “i’m not going anywhere,” his voice gives and it’s almost inaudible. vision blurring, jinyoung feels a single drop roll down his cheek and he presses his face against dongwoo’s shoulder, hiding his face and pushing back any more tears.
dongwoo reaches for jinyoung’s hand, fingers sliding comfortably into the spaces between jinyoung’s own, and he squeezes tight, wondering if jinyoung is as close as he is. wonders if it could get any better than this, being here together on this night, separate from the rest of the world. just the two of them free to be as intimate, as hopelessly and helplessly in love, with no thought or care in the world other than this beautiful boy sitting in front of him looking as perfect as ever with his long eyelashes and flushed cheeks.
so many sensations, feelings are mixing, swirling, cresting, all at once until it seems to surge over jinyoung, filling the very edges of his consciousness until everything is dongwoo, just dongwoo. a noise slips out from the back of jinyoung’s throat, and he shakes his head, squeezing dongwoo’s hand once before he cries out, waves crashing down around him, almost sweeping him away if he weren’t holding onto dongwoo with everything he had.
dongwoo finds it beautiful, every movement, every sound, every soft whisper of his name that falls from jinyoung’s lips, so beautiful, and dongwoo would give himself up a thousand times to see jinyoung like this, even just once more. a choked cry escapes dongwoo’s mouth as he comes undone, holding jinyoung close as if he were the only thing-person left on this earth he could cling to, to ground him.
jinyoung rides out the last lingering traces of pleasure, gradually slowing the roll of his hips until he stills, dongwoo’s hands rubbing soft circles into his skin. moments pass by as they embrace each other, unspeaking, merely listening to each other’s labored breaths until they even out, feeling each other’s heartbeats blend into one, single rhythm, a quiet, steady beat like calm waves lapping against the shore.
dongwoo climbs out of the tub first and jinyoung rests his chin against the cool tile for a moment, watching candle light glisten against the water dripping from dongwoo’s hair, down his shoulders and the smooth of his back. when he turns around, dongwoo has a towel draped over his shoulder, his hand outstretched as he helps jinyoung up. wrapping the towel around the both of them, dongwoo holds him close for a moment and he feels jinyoung’s heat warm his shivers, feels jinyoung’s heart beat rhythmically in time with his own. his hand slips into jinyoung’s and dongwoo snatches up a smaller towel off the rack on the way out, slinging it over his shoulder as he leads them into the bedroom.
they both sit on the bed wrapped in a pair of soft microfiber robes, courtesy of the hotel, with nothing else on underneath. jinyoung has his legs crossed, dongwoo on his knees behind him, towel drying his hair, combing his fingers through to tidy his hair, in exact precision, the same way he observed-memorized jinyoung do during his daily routine. this unadulterated jinyoung, who guards his heart, putting more of himself into his composing, letting his love flow through beats, to so easily allow-trust dongwoo to play with his hair (something jinyoung is very adamant about with the exception of their stylist noonas) is something momentous. it’s special and dongwoo doesn’t let that fact go unrecognized, unappreciated. dongwoo would become a fly on the wall if he could, just to watch and pick up jinyoung’s every detail, to embed everything to memory, to play through his mind on repeat, the exciting, the dull and all the moments in between.
jinyoung tilts his head up to meet dongwoo’s soft, gentle eyes and casually presses a kiss to dongwoo’s lips. dongwoo smiles into it, pulling jinyoung down next to him on the bed as he turns down the lights.
it’s quiet for a long time, jinyoung listening to dongwoo’s slow breathing, soft and familiar, and he’s pretty sure he could spend the rest of his days right there in the dark, having dongwoo hold him close, keeping him safe, warm. the minutes blend together, and jinyoung is lost in his thoughts for a moment, lost in the beat of dongwoo’s heart against his cheek, and he can’t help but wonder how he ended up there, can’t help how he fits so perfectly against dongwoo.
“dongwoo?” jinyoung whispers, half into the dark, half into the front of dongwoo’s shirt.
“hmm?”
“how did i get so lucky to call someone like you mine?”
“i could say the same thing about you.” dongwoo kisses the top of jinyoung’s head, pulling him closer. it’s cheesy and dumb and half of jinyoung wants to shove him for it, but it’s also dongwoo, so he lets it slide. somewhere in the back of his mind, jinyoung wonders what he did to deserve dongwoo, and all his kindness, wonders what dongwoo could possibly see in someone like him.
"what's your favorite thing about me?" jinyoung mumbles, half asleep and tucked under dongwoo's arm. it's said casually, thoughtlessly, as if jinyoung didn't care, but dongwoo knew better. without missing a beat, dongwoo replies, "your eyes."
dongwoo leans down, pressing a kiss against jinyoung's temple. "and your lips," he continues, the pad of his thumb brushing against the corner of jinyoung's mouth. instead of kissing him, dongwoo pulls back and watches with amusement when jinyoung tries to follow. jinyoung's eyes flutter open, confused, and then glares when dongwoo laughs quietly.
"do you want me to keep going?" dongwoo asks, smiling.
"no." jinyoung huffs, and turns his back on dongwoo, masking his embarrassment with false anger. but dongwoo knows better, he always does.
"i like your waist." dongwoo continues, leaning up on his elbows to murmur against jinyoung's ear, one hand snaking around jinyoung's middle.
"shut up." jinyoung says, but it comes out softer than he intended, and he doesn't protest when dongwoo hugs him close from behind.
"i like how you feel." dongwoo slips a hand under the shirt, fingertips skimming just above jinyoung's navel, across the smooth, warm skin.
jinyoung's breath hitches, and he hates how dongwoo makes him feel, hates how feather-light touches are never enough, hates how dongwoo knows all that.
"i like how you sound." dongwoo breathes the words against the side of jinyoung's neck, and it only takes the slightest press of his lips against skin for jinyoung to arch against him, a soft, desperate whine leaving his lips.
dongwoo smiles into his neck, pleased with the reaction, and jinyoung wants to disappear into the blankets and never have to face dongwoo again.
"i hate you." jinyoung mutters, folding his arms and scooting away from dongwoo. "i hate you, i hate you." he repeats over his shoulder.
"i love you." dongwoo replies, and he says it so comfortably, so painfully easily, it makes jinyoung's heart stop, makes his chest hurt.
jinyoung turns around and searches dongwoo’s eyes, but only finds sincerity, only finds dongwoo looking back at him with unwavering devotion. there are words, whirling in his head, feelings that need to be said, emotions rushing under his skin, things he wants dongwoo to know; but they get lost, somewhere between his mind and his mouth, and he doesn't say anything, doesn't realize he's crying until dongwoo pulls him close, kisses his tears away and cups his face in his hands. "you'll always be my favorite."
in between the tears and whispered words, they’re carried off to sleep, jinyoung’s hand resting against dongwoo’s chest, their legs tangled together under the sheets, and dongwoo knows there isn’t any other place he’d rather be than with jinyoung.
-end-
a/n: here have some deleted scenes. also, highlight below to see how judy and i basically cried over this fic the entire time.
britt: [[slkdjlfkgjhjk]]
judy: [HOW TO REMOVE CLOTHES??]
[[WE DON’T KNOW?]]
[SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION??? ((YES?))]
[[/CRIES]]
[insert complete disintegration of their clothes don’t ask questions]
[are we falling through the floor???]
[[i’ve already melted into my bed]]
[that sounds messy. sacrifices must be made to finish this fic]
[[it’s worth it because 91line]]
[how to write bath scene u__u]
[[we have to shed more tears first]]
[sacrifice our tears i see. is that what they bathe in??? makes sense]
[[tears and cum tbh]]
[LMFAO. getting clean and dirty at the same time]
[[i’m cry- I’M JUST PICTURING IT AND IT HURTS. JUDY WHY ARE YOU ASLEEP I NEED YOU]]
[LOL OH MY GOD YOUR NOTES LMAO ASDFHASGAWRF ALSO THE SCENE YOU WROTE CRIES IT’S PERFECT??]
[[i couldn’t finish the sucking finger scene. i couldn’t do it without you?????]]
[LMAO CRIES WHY? AM I AN EXPERT ON FINGER SUCKING??]
[[yoU COULD BE I DON’T KNOW.]]
[/CHOKES. EXCUSE YOU. YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN FOR JINYOUNG I’M SORRY]
[[/ROLLS AROUND IN BED LAUGHING]]
[[(the vibration) sends ME OVER THE EDGE /WASHES FACE WITH COLD WATER.]]
[WITH MY TEARS???]
[[REMEMBER HOW I WROTE THIS HEART WRENCHING PARARGAPH AND I CNA’T CONTINEU ANYMORE. BCEAUSE I DO. NOTHING ELSE WILL BE QUALITY FROM ME EVER AGIAN /SENDS RESGIANTION I GIVE UP WORDS AND AM CHOPPYING MY HADNS OFF BYE.]]
title: yours truly
pairing: cnu/jinyoung
rating: nc-17
word count: 5,801
a/n: a collaboration fic with judysaurus! i don't think it would have ever existed if we didn't have each other to lean on. this fic is sequel of sorts to " irresistible." disclaimer: we are not responsible for the instantaneous decay of teeth due to cavity inducing feels thank you and enjoy.
“i can’t see anything.” jinyoung says as dongwoo ties a blindfold over his eyes. he takes a hesitant step forward with his hands blindly stretched out in front of him, grasping nothing but air. it’s a little unnerving, having nothing to go by except his sense of touch and sound, but he knows dongwoo is nearby, and jinyoung trusts him.
“good, that’s the point.” dongwoo replies, taking jinyoung by the hand, guiding him along the connecting sidewalk.
dongwoo had booked a hotel suite for him and jinyoung hours ago and had prepared everything for the special occasion, valentine’s day. without saying a word, he had arranged for jinyoung to meet him next door at a tiny café so he would be unsuspecting.
it’s cold out and leftover snow still blankets the ground, crunching beneath their footsteps. jinyoung shivers in the frigid air and dongwoo squeezes his hand, walking a little faster. jinyoung has no idea what’s going on, but decides against asking questions ever since the shower incident a few days prior.
they walk into a building, and dongwoo holds the door for him as jinyoung cautiously steps in. there are voices all around him, muted conversations in the background, and jinyoung vaguely wonders what he must look like at that moment, blindfolded with dongwoo leading him around.
“since we’re inside now, can you remove the blindfold?” jinyoung asks, reaching up a hand to tug at the cloth covering his eyes. “i feel ridiculous,” jinyoung grumbles under his breath.
“not yet, besides we’re almost there,” dongwoo replies, lowering jinyoung’s hand.
“dongwoo, i didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff,” jinyoung teases, keeping his voice low as dongwoo walks next to him with a guiding hand on his waist.
“that’s not what the blindfold is for,” dongwoo says, but then he leans in close, breath hot against jinyoung’s ear when he whispers, “at least not this time.”
jinyoung’s step falters for a moment, and his face flushes with embarrassment at dongwoo’s words. he doesn’t ask any more questions, regretting his last words, and he feels himself being led left and right, up an elevator and down a hallway. he’s about to take another step when dongwoo abruptly stops him, and jinyoung stands there, listening to the familiar swipe of a keycard unlocking a door. dongwoo unbinds the blindfold and jinyoung finally opens his eyes, blinking as his eyes adjust to a dimly lit hotel room. there are rose petals strewn all across the floor, making up a trail that leads into the bathroom.
“what’s this all about?” jinyoung asks, still confused. dongwoo doesn’t reply, quietly escorting him along the rose petal trail (which he had spent time on perfecting - scattering candles and strewing more rose petals, finding the right bath salts, etc).
when dongwoo opens the bathroom door, jinyoung gasps softly as he takes everything in. puffs of steam roll out of the room, swirl around his body and warm his skin. the scent of something sweet and soothing fills the air and jinyoung breathes it in, doesn’t realize how tense he is until he feels his muscles relax. in the corner there’s a large, deep set bathtub with a mountain of white bubbles floating on the water. against the pearl tiles, two glasses of red wine stand along the rim of the tub, ready and waiting.
“what’s this for, dongwoo?” jinyoung asks again, completely stunned and in awe. he watches as dongwoo dims the room, lighting a few candles that are strewn about, the flickering light dancing off the tiles. “did you do this all for me?”
“i just wanted to do something special. you deserve to be treated to something nice,” dongwoo replies, smiling shyly. “we don’t get a whole lot of privacy…and i wish i could do more for you without the excuse of a holiday-” he rambles until jinyoung cuts him off with a kiss, arms finding their way around dongwoo’s neck.
jinyoung thinks this is the best surprise he’s ever received; it’s romantic, like a scene from jinyoung’s favorite movies, the sappy ones that he makes dongwoo watch with him, yet somehow it has dongwoo’s name written all over it, making the atmosphere of the room completely their own.
“so, do you like it?” dongwoo pulls him close, lowering his head to meet jinyoung’s gaze.
“i love it,” jinyoung replies breathlessly, closing his eyes and brushing against dongwoo’s nose.
dongwoo’s lips descend down, meeting jinyoung’s and he runs his tongue across jinyoung’s bottom lip, hands sliding under his shirt, pressing into the soft, warm skin. he fumbles with the buttons on jinyoung’s shirt, and jinyoung feels shy when the fabric slips off his shoulders. jinyoung’s skin seems to glow under the candlelight, and dongwoo is in awe, skimming his fingers over defined collarbones, across the delicate curve of jinyoung’s neck, watching as jinyoung shivers.
it’s not their first time, but there’s something different about this occasion, about not doing it in some closet, not rushing to get each other off, or worrying about getting caught. this time it’s slow, intimate, with time stretching out endlessly before the two of them.
jinyoung tugs at dongwoo’s shirt, lifting it over his shoulders, but ends up getting it caught around dongwoo’s head. dongwoo pulls it off the rest of the way, his hair sticking up at odd angles.
“sorry,” jinyoung says meekly, one hand smoothing out dongwoo’s hair.
“you don’t have to be nervous, it’s just me,” dongwoo quirks his lips upward into a familiar grin, and jinyoung’s heart skips a beat.
“i know,” jinyoung mumbles, averting his gaze downward as he reaches to undo dongwoo’s belt. his palms are clammy as he fiddles with the zipper, but he manages to work the pants down, eyes widening when he realizes dongwoo isn’t wearing anything underneath.
“i couldn’t find my favorite pair...” dongwoo offers, a weak response to jinyoung’s questioning look. jinyoung is quiet when his own pants drop to the floor, leaving dongwoo to stare at jinyoung’s choice of underwear.
“you’re wearing mine?” dongwoo asks, and jinyoung regrets pulling them on this morning when dongwoo cups him through the thin fabric, rubbing a thumb across the teddy bears printed over the crotch. “that explains why they weren’t in my drawer this morning.”
normally dongwoo would question the hygiene of sharing underwear, but with jinyoung he finds that he doesn’t mind as much, and the idea of jinyoung in his clothes actually turns him on.
“my laundry was in the wash this morning so i thought i’d just...” jinyoung rambles in defense, trailing off as he avoids dongwoo’s eyes.
“they look good on you, just a little loose,” dongwoo notes, eyeing the waistband hanging loosely around jinyoung’s hips. he brushes a hand against the skin under jinyoung’s navel, barely touching the fabric before it slips easily to jinyoung’s ankles. “they look even better on the floor.”
jinyoung feels his face heat up, cheeks matching the shade of his hair, and he looks away from dongwoo, wishing he could fall through the floor right then. dongwoo finds it adorable and chuckles, leading him towards the bath.
dongwoo holds his hand as jinyoung steps in first, hot, steaming water swirling around his legs. jinyoung lowers himself into the water and hisses through his teeth because the water is so hot, so perfect and he sighs as he lets the heat soak into his skin, into his muscles. he doesn’t think it could get any hotter, but when dongwoo settles down behind him, jinyoung gasps at the feeling of dongwoo’s bare skin against his back, setting his body on fire, scorching hot in a way that sends jinyoung reeling.
the water forms miniature waves around their bodies as dongwoo shifts behind him, pulling jinyoung in between his legs. with a washcloth in hand, dongwoo rubs in small, rhythmic circles across the back of jinyoung’s shoulders. dongwoo notices the way jinyoung seems to stiffen under his touch, muscles taut under the wet skin.
“relax,” he murmurs, feathering a kiss to the back of jinyoung’s neck, feeling jinyoung tremble slightly under his lips. “this is just like any other ordinary bath.”
“ordinary,” jinyoung rolls the word off his tongue, testing it. there isn’t anything ordinary about this moment, how his heart wants to burst every time dongwoo’s skin slides against his, how no one but dongwoo has ever made him feel this way, as if he were special, someone worth treasuring. nothing is ever ordinary with dongwoo, and jinyoung thinks every day they live through, every moment they share together, is extraordinary.
“are you still sore from that shower the other night?” dongwoo asks, nonchalant.
“a little,” jinyoung admits, letting out a soft chuckle. “why? is this another one of your brilliant schemes?”
“it wasn’t… unless you want it to be?” dongwoo answers quietly, hands stilling on jinyoung’s lower back.
it’s silent for a moment, except for the sound of dissolving bubbles, and jinyoung’s hand moving through the water, mindlessly parting the bubbles. he plays with the idea, wondering what it’d be like if dongwoo took him right then, in the water, in this perfect candlelit room, and suddenly jinyoung feels a pleasant heat pooling somewhere in the pit of his stomach. he blushes hard, hoping the dim light hides how red the tips of his ears must be, and quickly distracts himself by gathering more bubbles around him, strategically arranging bubbles over his growing erection, thankful this is a bubble bath.
dongwoo observes jinyoung poke a bubble, then another. an old memory pops into his mind, before his crush on jinyoung had developed during baby goodnight. they were at a photoshoot, each member had been requested to sit in a tub, but only jinyoung’s turn had called for bubbles. he didn’t think jinyoung knew, but he had watched in the shadow of an empty doorway, watched jinyoung’s slender fingers chase the bubbles floating around his head, smiling each time he caught one. dongwoo felt intrusive, like he was seeing a part of jinyoung that was rarely ever seen, but unsure why when there were at least three cameras focused on jinyoung. it was something about seeing their leader play around so freely, unlike the jinyoung who would easily get embarrassed when asked to do such things. dongwoo had felt his cheeks grow warm, slowly slipping from the scene to see what havoc junghwan was wreaking.
the memory is interrupted when jinyoung abruptly twists his body to face dongwoo, bubbles gathered in his palms, his lips drawn in close as he lightly puffs, sending bubbles into dongwoo’s face. dongwoo instinctively shuts his eyes, preventing the suds from stinging them, smiling at the tingling feeling of the bubbles dispersing against his face.
when dongwoo opens his eyes, he notices a smear of white on his nose, slightly blocking his view of jinyoung looking up at him with a soft smile. with one hand tilting dongwoo’s chin, jinyoung brushes the suds away with a gentle kiss to dongwoo’s nose, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. when jinyoung’s eyes flutter shut, dongwoo leans in to press feather light kisses to each eyelid.
“what are those for?” jinyoung asks, the two wine glasses sitting along the edge of the bathtub becoming visible in his peripheral vision.
“to drink,” dongwoo states plainly. “what else would the be there for, decoration?” he says, picking up the two cups, handing the other to jinyoung.
“we rarely drink,” jinyoung says, swishing the the wine around.
“afraid you still can’t hold your alcohol, halbae?” dongwoo teases, recalling the last time they, junghwan and sunwoo had drank together. jinyoung was the most lightweight of them all, and tipsy within half an hour, he’d gone off on some tangent about dongwoo’s lips and how they looked soft, and kissed him to see if he was right, didn’t stop kissing him the rest of the night. jinyoung had wound up draped, half naked-clad only in his underwear- across dongwoo the next morning. the others made sure to tell jinyoung everything that happened the second he’d woken up shocked to find himself sprawled out on top of dongwoo, but they eventually put it aside, assuming it was the alcohol, but dongwoo felt more. “i remember,” jinyoung had said later that day when they were alone. “you do have soft lips.” he’d leaned in, giving a shy kiss to the corner of dongwoo’s lips. it was the moment dongwoo realized he had a crush.
jinyoung chuckles, lifting the glass to his nose, getting a sense of how it smells before he takes a tentative sip, smacking his lips together a few times, determining whether or not he cares for for it. he takes another sip, decides it has a pleasant taste, a tiny bitter, but it’s smooth going down his throat. besides, knowing dongwoo, he probably purchased an expensive bottle just for the occasion.
jinyoung comfortably leans back onto dongwoo, allowing his head to rest in the crook of dongwoo’s neck. dongwoo settles his arms around jinyoung’s body, the pads of his fingers carefully sliding downward, and he feels jinyoung shudder in response. dongwoo likes the way jinyoung’s body fits perfectly against his, loves the angles and curves of jinyoung that no one else ever gets to see.
thoughtlessly, dongwoo traces jinyoung’s body, his fingers ghost over jinyoung’s nipples, inadvertently teasing them, feeling one perk up in response to his touch. jinyoung is immersed in the feeling, eyes fighting to stay open, and he’s unable to recall a time his body has ever been this relaxed. he goes to take another sip of wine, his glass half gone, when dongwoo drops the washcloth back into the water and picks his half empty glass back up, dipping in his index finger.
“open,” dongwoo says, perching his finger against jinyoung’s lips. he slips his finger in as jinyoung parts them slightly, sucking the faint, bittersweet flavor and vaguely wondering which is wine and which is dongwoo’s taste.
dipping his finger in the wine a second time, dongwoo adds another finger, swirls in languid circles before bringing them to jinyoung again, lips parted readily. there’s something mesmerizing in the way jinyoung’s lips gleam, red, wet and plump, something seductive in the way jinyoung slides his tongue along the length of his fingers, attentive and eager.
jinyoung curls his hand around dongwoo’s wrist, pulls out his fingers slowly, panting warm, shallow breaths over the skin, leaving a fine trail of wetness moistening dongwoo’s fingers. jinyoung’s eyes are cast downward, inspecting his work; his left brow quirks up in amusement before he guides dongwoo’s hand, fingers stretched out to brush against his own slightly parted lips.
dongwoo’s eyes widen in surprise, feeling his own fingers slide past his teeth, against his tongue. it’s strange and oddly intimate, dongwoo thinks, lapping jinyoung’s taste from his fingers as jinyoung watches him with curious eyes.
“how is it?” jinyoung asks, voice honeyed, trying to maintain a straight face.
dongwoo slowly slips his fingers out of his mouth, trailing them along his lower lip. “a little slimy,” he teases, deflecting jinyoung’s attempt at sounding seductive. he grins, jinyoung feigns an eye roll, and the moment is broken.
hands slipping under the water, dongwoo searches for the sunken washcloth, smiling when his fingers occasionally brush against jinyoung’s legs. suddenly, finding the cloth doesn’t seem so important anymore, not when his hands slide along the side of jinyoung’s thighs in a way that has jinyoung leaning into him, melting against his body. dongwoo rests his head in the curve of jinyoung’s neck, watching from the corner of his eye, how jinyoung’s eyelashes cast long, delicate shadows across his cheeks, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting open.
jinyoung arches back when dongwoo’s hands slide over his inner thighs, alternating between skimming, squeezing, and fingers digging into his skin. he lets out a quiet little noise, and dongwoo wants to hear more, wants to know how many other sounds he can coax out of jinyoung. dongwoo maps the curve of jinyoung’s hips, fingers tracing careless patterns against the smooth expanse of jinyoung’s middle, and in one, selfish moment, he can’t help but think, “mine” as his hands fit so perfectly around jinyoung’s delicate waist.
“dongwoo...” jinyoung turns his head to murmur low and breathless right against dongwoo’s ear, and something about jinyoung’s voice, soft, pleading, has dongwoo throbbing with want. dongwoo’s hand slides down, brushing against hardened flesh, and jinyoung involuntarily grinds his hips down, craving friction against dongwoo’s body.
“look at me,” dongwoo whispers, not in any way demanding, but as more of a quiet request, and it sends a cool shiver along jinyoung’s spine, the back of his neck prickling. jinyoung obeys and eases himself around, shuddering ever so slightly when dongwoo pulls him into his lap.
“are you sure you want to do this?” dongwoo asks, voice filled with genuine concern as he looks up into jinyoung’s eyes.
“why, afraid you can’t handle it?” jinyoung teases, hands sliding leisurely over dongwoo’s shoulders, lacing together against the nape of his neck.
“i’m not the one who’s still sore,” dongwoo points out, but jinyoung ignores the statement and continues to grind his hips in slow, small circles, lips quirking up in a pleased smile when he feels dongwoo harden underneath him. dongwoo shudders, enjoying the way jinyoung’s body fits against his, like the sky and the sea, blue against clear blue, skin on wet skin.
jinyoung presses up against dongwoo, running his tongue across the arc of his lower lip, tugging at it between his own. dongwoo distracts him with slow, heated open mouth kisses as his hand reaches for a small bottle hidden in the shadows, and jinyoung doesn’t notice dongwoo’s hand slipping from the small of his back, down the curve of his ass, pressing a slick finger to his entrance. somewhere in the deep recesses of jinyoung's mind, the tiniest, barely functional part that isn’t completely consumed with thoughts of how perfect dongwoo’s lips feel against his, wonders when dongwoo had time to sneak in lube. probably sometime in between the slide of their hips and when the breathless noises started spilling from his mouth, jinyoung figures.
when dongwoo slides a finger in, jinyoung whimpers against his lips, hands squeezing one of his shoulders and dongwoo pulls back for a moment.
“shhh...” dongwoo murmurs, nestling his other hand around jinyoung’s waist, holding him steady. “it’ll be okay, more than okay.” he eases another finger in, swiveling around before he curls them up and hooks, hitting a spot that has jinyoung shuddering involuntarily, lips parting with a soundless gasp. dongwoo goes slow, works his fingers in and out at a comfortable pace, presses kisses to jinyoung’s shoulder as he patiently waits for him to relax and loosen up.
it doesn’t take long before jinyoung is rocking his hips down again, getting dongwoo’s fingers deeper each time, but it’s still not enough, it’s never enough, and jinyoung’s hands tangle themselves in dongwoo’s hair, tugging urgently, desperate for more. dongwoo doesn’t say anything when he slides his fingers out, pushes down on the small of jinyoung’s back until he’s positioned right over his length.
dongwoo slicks himself up with whatever lube remains on his fingers before jinyoung feels him shift and push inside, gently and agonizingly slow. so very slow that jinyoung squints his eyes shut and it's enough to elicit several suppressed moans out of his mouth. jinyoung pants, sweat dripping, hands gripping dongwoo's wet shoulders, and he slips down onto dongwoo effortlessly, water making their bodies slide together easily. it feels good though, and jinyoung begins rubbing down, deepening himself and starts to grind against dongwoo, circling his hips. jinyoung is tight around dongwoo and hot, so much hotter than the water, and it has dongwoo hissing through his teeth. a muted whimper escapes from dongwoo's mouth, and jinyoung feels dongwoo's fingers dig into his side, gripping for support to keep his hips from jerking forward.
it isn't much longer before they find a rhythm to match each other, and jinyoung rides him slow, so torturously slow that dongwoo feels he could come undone right then because jinyoung's so hot and wet, clenching around him, tighter each time he rocks against him. dongwoo breathes a moan into jinyoung's shoulder as jinyoung eases down, taking in dongwoo's length completely.
and suddenly for the first time, jinyoung doesn’t know what he should be doing, where his hands should be, what expression he should make, where to look. (should he keep his eyes closed? or look at dongwoo, risk the possibility of having dongwoo glance at the deepest part of himself?). facing dongwoo makes him feel self-conscious, exposed, so he buries his face against dongwoo’s neck, trying to mask his embarrassment, and muffle his sounds, all the embarrassing whines that dongwoo seems to make a goal to draw out of him.
“don’t hide,” dongwoo pulls jinyoung back, staring into his eyes. “i want to watch you.” he leans his forehead slightly against jinyoung’s, never breaking eye contact. “you’re so beautiful like this.”
jinyoung’s cheeks flush red, thoroughly embarrassed, and he wants to hide again, but dongwoo’s hands are cupping his cheeks, so gently, so tenderly, jinyoung doesn’t have the heart to move away. dongwoo kisses him lightly at first, and jinyoung presses forward for more, sighing into it when dongwoo tilts his chin, slipping his tongue past jinyoung’s parted lips. a whine makes its way from jinyoung’s mouth as he sinks himself deeper onto dongwoo, shuddering and digging his nails into dongwoo’s shoulders. the water is lukewarm by now, but dongwoo feels hot against him, and the friction between them is enough to keep jinyoung sweating and panting for air.
the water rushes back and forth in the tub with their movements, and the motion of jinyoung's hips are fluid, smooth, like waves rolling against the shore, pulling dongwoo deeper with each swell. a memory washes over dongwoo, the two of them at the beach watching the waves ripple and crash, jinyoung holding his fingers under the sand. in unison, jinyoung and dongwoo had looked over their shoulders to steal a glance, to see if the other members were paying attention to them, the both of them feeling slightly exposed in the open expanse of the beach. for the moment it seemed they were still safe, still a secret, no skepticism about their closeness. dongwoo watched as chansik and sunwoo were off to to the side poking their fingers in the sand, writing names and taking pictures. watched as junghwan ran around shouting like crazy, screaming, “help me!” as a dozen seagulls swooped around over his head and snapped at him, wanting the food in his hands that he had tried to share, until the seagulls became too frightening. jinyoung chuckled beside dongwoo as they continued to sit there, hands entwined and hidden under the cool sand, remaining that way until the sun slowly began to sink into the sea. a lot of things remind dongwoo of moments he and jinyoung shared.
dongwoo trails kisses up and down jinyoung's neck, nibbling here, licking there, and when his lips brush over jinyoung's sensitive adam's apple, a small moan escapes. dongwoo kisses harder, pressing against the spot that makes jinyoung dig his nails deeper into dongwoo's skin, a reflexive mewl leaving his lips. when dongwoo begins to suck, the adam's apple bobs against his lips, and jinyoung throws his head back, the most obscene noises echoing off the tiled walls. under his lips, dongwoo feels the quiver of jinyoung’s voice, words that sound vaguely like “please” spilling helplessly from his lips.
dongwoo traces his fingers lasciviously along jinyoung's delicate body, memorizing the way jinyoung's skin feels, smooth and wet, like silk beneath his fingers, feels the goosebumps prickle as his fingers graze along his chest. he presses a palm to the back of jinyoung’s shoulder, runs his hand down jinyoung’s back, revels in the fact that he has all the time in the world to explore, to touch, feel, kiss every untouched spot that jinyoung gives to him, and only him.
"dongwoo, please..." jinyoung breathes, and he shudders when dongwoo continues sliding his hand up jinyoung's sides, dongwoo's big, warm hands holding his hips in place. looking him in the eyes, dongwoo thrusts his hips up, gripping jinyoung to keep him in place, and jinyoung lets out a high pitched moan, the friction and the sheer deepness sending him reeling.
reduced to nothing more than a whimpering mess at dongwoo's touch, jinyoung instinctively tucks his head into the crook of dongwoo's neck once more, from the sheer magnitude of everything that consumes him, not the exertion he feels, he craves the touch of dongwoo's skin against his cheek and his lips that he presses tenderly to dongwoo's neck.
“jinyoung…” dongwoo hisses when jinyoung sinks onto him slowly, pushing all his weight down until he can’t do any more, shaking his head when he doesn’t have the strength to lift himself again. “i’ve got you.” dongwoo murmurs softly, hands sliding underneath jinyoung, cupping the back of his thighs, guiding him along, and jinyoung is gone, arms loosely slung over dongwoo’s shoulders.
dongwoo pulls back from jinyoung, a feeling he can only identify as pure adoration suddenly shoots through him, goosebumps form, prickling on the surface of his skin, making him shiver. instinctively, his hands find their way to gently frame jinyoung’s face, lips grazing against jinyoung’s forehead, then his nose, and jinyoung’s eyelids flutter shut of their own accord at his touch. dongwoo brushes against his lips once more, deepening the kiss, their tongues swiping against each other. it feels as if dongwoo’s been flung off a cliff and into the ocean, waves crashing all around and over him, drowning him, waiting on his impending death, he’s gasping and shouting but no one is there to rescue him. dongwoo is suddenly jolted with shock at the realization that he actually has no intention of fighting off the waves crashing over him, and he would willingly accept this as his death if it meant he could get this feeling coursing through his veins every time he kissed jinyoung.
“jinyoung, i lo-,” dongwoo stops himself, swallows his words when he realizes what he’s about to say. of course he wants nothing more than to tell jinyoung how he feels, how much he loves him, but it’s not the right time, not now. he doesn’t want it to come off obligatory, to have his words lose meaning, to have it mistaken for being caught up within the moment. his arms are wrapped tightly around jinyoung’s back, clinging to him as though he were the last person on earth. honestly, jinyoung might as well be, he’s the only person in the world dongwoo wants to spend the rest of his life with. “i wish you were mine,” dongwoo murmurs in jinyoung’s ear instead, lips softly nibbling, his voice full of want - need.
“y-you have me, i’m already yours,” jinyoung replies hoarsely, “i’m not going anywhere,” his voice gives and it’s almost inaudible. vision blurring, jinyoung feels a single drop roll down his cheek and he presses his face against dongwoo’s shoulder, hiding his face and pushing back any more tears.
dongwoo reaches for jinyoung’s hand, fingers sliding comfortably into the spaces between jinyoung’s own, and he squeezes tight, wondering if jinyoung is as close as he is. wonders if it could get any better than this, being here together on this night, separate from the rest of the world. just the two of them free to be as intimate, as hopelessly and helplessly in love, with no thought or care in the world other than this beautiful boy sitting in front of him looking as perfect as ever with his long eyelashes and flushed cheeks.
so many sensations, feelings are mixing, swirling, cresting, all at once until it seems to surge over jinyoung, filling the very edges of his consciousness until everything is dongwoo, just dongwoo. a noise slips out from the back of jinyoung’s throat, and he shakes his head, squeezing dongwoo’s hand once before he cries out, waves crashing down around him, almost sweeping him away if he weren’t holding onto dongwoo with everything he had.
dongwoo finds it beautiful, every movement, every sound, every soft whisper of his name that falls from jinyoung’s lips, so beautiful, and dongwoo would give himself up a thousand times to see jinyoung like this, even just once more. a choked cry escapes dongwoo’s mouth as he comes undone, holding jinyoung close as if he were the only thing-person left on this earth he could cling to, to ground him.
jinyoung rides out the last lingering traces of pleasure, gradually slowing the roll of his hips until he stills, dongwoo’s hands rubbing soft circles into his skin. moments pass by as they embrace each other, unspeaking, merely listening to each other’s labored breaths until they even out, feeling each other’s heartbeats blend into one, single rhythm, a quiet, steady beat like calm waves lapping against the shore.
dongwoo climbs out of the tub first and jinyoung rests his chin against the cool tile for a moment, watching candle light glisten against the water dripping from dongwoo’s hair, down his shoulders and the smooth of his back. when he turns around, dongwoo has a towel draped over his shoulder, his hand outstretched as he helps jinyoung up. wrapping the towel around the both of them, dongwoo holds him close for a moment and he feels jinyoung’s heat warm his shivers, feels jinyoung’s heart beat rhythmically in time with his own. his hand slips into jinyoung’s and dongwoo snatches up a smaller towel off the rack on the way out, slinging it over his shoulder as he leads them into the bedroom.
they both sit on the bed wrapped in a pair of soft microfiber robes, courtesy of the hotel, with nothing else on underneath. jinyoung has his legs crossed, dongwoo on his knees behind him, towel drying his hair, combing his fingers through to tidy his hair, in exact precision, the same way he observed-memorized jinyoung do during his daily routine. this unadulterated jinyoung, who guards his heart, putting more of himself into his composing, letting his love flow through beats, to so easily allow-trust dongwoo to play with his hair (something jinyoung is very adamant about with the exception of their stylist noonas) is something momentous. it’s special and dongwoo doesn’t let that fact go unrecognized, unappreciated. dongwoo would become a fly on the wall if he could, just to watch and pick up jinyoung’s every detail, to embed everything to memory, to play through his mind on repeat, the exciting, the dull and all the moments in between.
jinyoung tilts his head up to meet dongwoo’s soft, gentle eyes and casually presses a kiss to dongwoo’s lips. dongwoo smiles into it, pulling jinyoung down next to him on the bed as he turns down the lights.
it’s quiet for a long time, jinyoung listening to dongwoo’s slow breathing, soft and familiar, and he’s pretty sure he could spend the rest of his days right there in the dark, having dongwoo hold him close, keeping him safe, warm. the minutes blend together, and jinyoung is lost in his thoughts for a moment, lost in the beat of dongwoo’s heart against his cheek, and he can’t help but wonder how he ended up there, can’t help how he fits so perfectly against dongwoo.
“dongwoo?” jinyoung whispers, half into the dark, half into the front of dongwoo’s shirt.
“hmm?”
“how did i get so lucky to call someone like you mine?”
“i could say the same thing about you.” dongwoo kisses the top of jinyoung’s head, pulling him closer. it’s cheesy and dumb and half of jinyoung wants to shove him for it, but it’s also dongwoo, so he lets it slide. somewhere in the back of his mind, jinyoung wonders what he did to deserve dongwoo, and all his kindness, wonders what dongwoo could possibly see in someone like him.
"what's your favorite thing about me?" jinyoung mumbles, half asleep and tucked under dongwoo's arm. it's said casually, thoughtlessly, as if jinyoung didn't care, but dongwoo knew better. without missing a beat, dongwoo replies, "your eyes."
dongwoo leans down, pressing a kiss against jinyoung's temple. "and your lips," he continues, the pad of his thumb brushing against the corner of jinyoung's mouth. instead of kissing him, dongwoo pulls back and watches with amusement when jinyoung tries to follow. jinyoung's eyes flutter open, confused, and then glares when dongwoo laughs quietly.
"do you want me to keep going?" dongwoo asks, smiling.
"no." jinyoung huffs, and turns his back on dongwoo, masking his embarrassment with false anger. but dongwoo knows better, he always does.
"i like your waist." dongwoo continues, leaning up on his elbows to murmur against jinyoung's ear, one hand snaking around jinyoung's middle.
"shut up." jinyoung says, but it comes out softer than he intended, and he doesn't protest when dongwoo hugs him close from behind.
"i like how you feel." dongwoo slips a hand under the shirt, fingertips skimming just above jinyoung's navel, across the smooth, warm skin.
jinyoung's breath hitches, and he hates how dongwoo makes him feel, hates how feather-light touches are never enough, hates how dongwoo knows all that.
"i like how you sound." dongwoo breathes the words against the side of jinyoung's neck, and it only takes the slightest press of his lips against skin for jinyoung to arch against him, a soft, desperate whine leaving his lips.
dongwoo smiles into his neck, pleased with the reaction, and jinyoung wants to disappear into the blankets and never have to face dongwoo again.
"i hate you." jinyoung mutters, folding his arms and scooting away from dongwoo. "i hate you, i hate you." he repeats over his shoulder.
"i love you." dongwoo replies, and he says it so comfortably, so painfully easily, it makes jinyoung's heart stop, makes his chest hurt.
jinyoung turns around and searches dongwoo’s eyes, but only finds sincerity, only finds dongwoo looking back at him with unwavering devotion. there are words, whirling in his head, feelings that need to be said, emotions rushing under his skin, things he wants dongwoo to know; but they get lost, somewhere between his mind and his mouth, and he doesn't say anything, doesn't realize he's crying until dongwoo pulls him close, kisses his tears away and cups his face in his hands. "you'll always be my favorite."
in between the tears and whispered words, they’re carried off to sleep, jinyoung’s hand resting against dongwoo’s chest, their legs tangled together under the sheets, and dongwoo knows there isn’t any other place he’d rather be than with jinyoung.
-end-
a/n: here have some deleted scenes. also, highlight below to see how judy and i basically cried over this fic the entire time.
britt: [[slkdjlfkgjhjk]]
judy: [HOW TO REMOVE CLOTHES??]
[[WE DON’T KNOW?]]
[SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION??? ((YES?))]
[[/CRIES]]
[insert complete disintegration of their clothes don’t ask questions]
[are we falling through the floor???]
[[i’ve already melted into my bed]]
[that sounds messy. sacrifices must be made to finish this fic]
[[it’s worth it because 91line]]
[how to write bath scene u__u]
[[we have to shed more tears first]]
[sacrifice our tears i see. is that what they bathe in??? makes sense]
[[tears and cum tbh]]
[LMFAO. getting clean and dirty at the same time]
[[i’m cry- I’M JUST PICTURING IT AND IT HURTS. JUDY WHY ARE YOU ASLEEP I NEED YOU]]
[LOL OH MY GOD YOUR NOTES LMAO ASDFHASGAWRF ALSO THE SCENE YOU WROTE CRIES IT’S PERFECT??]
[[i couldn’t finish the sucking finger scene. i couldn’t do it without you?????]]
[LMAO CRIES WHY? AM I AN EXPERT ON FINGER SUCKING??]
[[yoU COULD BE I DON’T KNOW.]]
[/CHOKES. EXCUSE YOU. YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN FOR JINYOUNG I’M SORRY]
[[/ROLLS AROUND IN BED LAUGHING]]
[[(the vibration) sends ME OVER THE EDGE /WASHES FACE WITH COLD WATER.]]
[WITH MY TEARS???]
[[REMEMBER HOW I WROTE THIS HEART WRENCHING PARARGAPH AND I CNA’T CONTINEU ANYMORE. BCEAUSE I DO. NOTHING ELSE WILL BE QUALITY FROM ME EVER AGIAN /SENDS RESGIANTION I GIVE UP WORDS AND AM CHOPPYING MY HADNS OFF BYE.]]