Howard Hughes laughs a hollow laught at your puny thing called sleep.

[greygirlbeast]

1. I thought, the last couple of days, I was getting to that "pulling myself back together" place, having had two halfway decent nights of of sleep without fucking Ambien. Not enough sleep, no, but no hypnotics, either. Then, this morning, at four-thirty I was still awake, so I took half a pill. At 5:45, still awake, I took another half. I got the

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[cynical_ghost]

As someone who also suffers from insomnia, you have my empathy. I haven't painted in months b/c I don't have the energy -- barely the energy to do daily necessary things. You know how it is. Even when I am feeling inspired, I have nothing to draw from.

I was trying to explain this to my partner who finds it difficult to understand. He's the type who can be perfectly chipper on 5 hours of sleep every night and seldom has any problems falling/staying asleep. I couldn't put it into words, though.

But I recently read "The Other" by Thomas Tryon and there was a passage about sleep that struck me. While I'm not a believer in God, this describes perfectly how insomnia affects me and my creative life:

"Sometimes she does not sleep at all; and this is very bad, for sleep is a most holy thing. It is while we sleep that we get our mind and imagination filled up again... It is like a deep pool, this imagination, and during the day it gets used up, like water, and when we sleep the water we used during the day gets replaced. And if it is not replaced, if there is none to drink of, we are thirsty. If it from sleep that God gives us our strength and our power and our peace, do you see."