"...til threadbare, she grew thin."
Exhausted. I might have slept four hours. I finally gave up at 4:30 this morning. Above 5 I got up and made coffee and grits and tried to wake up enough to work. I sat here and stared at the iMac, trying to type whatever comes next. About 7:25 a.m., I gave up (again). And dozed off in my chair for an hour, waking from the first glimmer of sunrise to full on daylight, feeling disoriented and queasy.
Our high today was 59F.
I have made yesterday's post private for now. I may undo that later. Stress and annoying people pushed me to...well, I am more articulate and thoughtful than that post. Let's just leave it at that. I was not at my best.
Not even close.
So, last night I got the news that Dr. Henry Kissinger (1923-2023) has died. At 100. And while I disagreed with Kissinger about very many things, maybe most things, this rush to condemn leaves me flustered. This is the man who, to quote Wikipedia (I hate doing that), "Kissinger pioneered the policy of détente with the Soviet Union, orchestrated an opening of relations with China, engaged in what became known as shuttle diplomacy in the Middle East to end the Yom Kippur War, and negotiated the Paris Peace Accords, which ended American involvement in the Vietnam War." OH, and recieved the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize. And yeah, besides these undeniable positives, lots of questionable and downright nasty shit, too. But Jesus, the life this man had. And in losing him, I feel we are losing another piece of that 20th century I so cherish. I know we live in an age where everyone is deemed GOOD or BAD. Well, more like PERFECT or EVIL, but these reductionist attitudes towards such complex things as human beings is, to say the least, undesirable.
But far, far worse, I got the news this afternoon that Shane McGowan (1957-2023) has died. He was only 65 years old, about six years older than me. And I do not even know what to say about this, it has hit me so hard. Both Kathryn and Chris knew and didn't tell me, letting me find out on my own, and I am thankful for that. I am surprised I have not cried, but then I may have forgotten how one does that.
I don't know if we should count Rosalyn Carter as the first in a triad of deaths, or if Jimmy Carter will complete it. Or, for me, maybe it was Dr. Martin Lockley. I feel like I have been surrounded by word of death for days.
Okay, enough death. For now.
I just need to sleep. I have not slept well in weeks, and it is beginning to take a toll.
Please, have a look at the Dreaming Squid Sudries shop. While I struggle to get this book finished, the shop and a few thin royalty checks are all that's keeping the lights on (etc.).
Goodbye, November. Maybe we still have a democratic America this time next year.
Later Tater Beans,
Aunt Beast
4:08 p.m. (Bashi)
Our high today was 59F.
I have made yesterday's post private for now. I may undo that later. Stress and annoying people pushed me to...well, I am more articulate and thoughtful than that post. Let's just leave it at that. I was not at my best.
Not even close.
So, last night I got the news that Dr. Henry Kissinger (1923-2023) has died. At 100. And while I disagreed with Kissinger about very many things, maybe most things, this rush to condemn leaves me flustered. This is the man who, to quote Wikipedia (I hate doing that), "Kissinger pioneered the policy of détente with the Soviet Union, orchestrated an opening of relations with China, engaged in what became known as shuttle diplomacy in the Middle East to end the Yom Kippur War, and negotiated the Paris Peace Accords, which ended American involvement in the Vietnam War." OH, and recieved the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize. And yeah, besides these undeniable positives, lots of questionable and downright nasty shit, too. But Jesus, the life this man had. And in losing him, I feel we are losing another piece of that 20th century I so cherish. I know we live in an age where everyone is deemed GOOD or BAD. Well, more like PERFECT or EVIL, but these reductionist attitudes towards such complex things as human beings is, to say the least, undesirable.
But far, far worse, I got the news this afternoon that Shane McGowan (1957-2023) has died. He was only 65 years old, about six years older than me. And I do not even know what to say about this, it has hit me so hard. Both Kathryn and Chris knew and didn't tell me, letting me find out on my own, and I am thankful for that. I am surprised I have not cried, but then I may have forgotten how one does that.
I don't know if we should count Rosalyn Carter as the first in a triad of deaths, or if Jimmy Carter will complete it. Or, for me, maybe it was Dr. Martin Lockley. I feel like I have been surrounded by word of death for days.
Okay, enough death. For now.
I just need to sleep. I have not slept well in weeks, and it is beginning to take a toll.
Please, have a look at the Dreaming Squid Sudries shop. While I struggle to get this book finished, the shop and a few thin royalty checks are all that's keeping the lights on (etc.).
Goodbye, November. Maybe we still have a democratic America this time next year.
Later Tater Beans,
Aunt Beast
4:08 p.m. (Bashi)