"Grandparents falling out of the sky." 11
A murderous day.
But sunny, at least. Mostly sunny. Our high was only 84˚F, the heat index 92˚F.
Autumn looms.
I was up half the night ill. That's a broken record, isn't it? I did get a little work done when I finally got up for good at 7:30 a.m. I wrote about the squamosal bones of one of my mosasaurs. I sorted through photographs finding the right ones for the plates. I suppose, these days some jackass would say I curated the photographs. I didn't.
I'm not eating again.
Here are some things I said on Facebook, and one thing I said on Twitter, but immediately took it down, because the last thing I need is the grief that comes for the combustible combination of my honest thoughts and Twitter:
Despite some really marvelous people doing really amazingly generous things to help, my depression is about as bad as it's been at any point in my life. Having to live to watch your world fall. And I just keep thinking, and it is true, at least logistically, practically, my partner would be so much better off without me. (This is not self pity; do not do me the disservice of thinking it is.)
~ and ~
Really, depression is a lot like insomnia. And when someone talks publicly about either, you really *should* assume that you have no suggestion that has not been tried, or at least considered. Sometimes, I just fucking say shit, because the pressure builds up too much for me to be smart and keep my fucking mouth shut. I'm NOT asking for advice. Advice pisses me off. I've been on anti-depressents since 1987. I've done it all.
~ and (the thing I took down from Twitter) ~
If American democracy had to fall it could have least have fallen to a charismatic madman, like Adolf Hitler, or an intelligent madman, like Joseph Stalin, or an interesting madman, like Castro. But no, we get Orange Mussolini, a puppet & utter idiot, champion of the ignoramus.
...but maybe we're only getting our just desserts for not being kinder to the ignoramuses.
You know what you can do? You can buy something.
Later Tater Beans,
Aunt Beast
4:49 p.m.
But sunny, at least. Mostly sunny. Our high was only 84˚F, the heat index 92˚F.
Autumn looms.
I was up half the night ill. That's a broken record, isn't it? I did get a little work done when I finally got up for good at 7:30 a.m. I wrote about the squamosal bones of one of my mosasaurs. I sorted through photographs finding the right ones for the plates. I suppose, these days some jackass would say I curated the photographs. I didn't.
I'm not eating again.
Here are some things I said on Facebook, and one thing I said on Twitter, but immediately took it down, because the last thing I need is the grief that comes for the combustible combination of my honest thoughts and Twitter:
Despite some really marvelous people doing really amazingly generous things to help, my depression is about as bad as it's been at any point in my life. Having to live to watch your world fall. And I just keep thinking, and it is true, at least logistically, practically, my partner would be so much better off without me. (This is not self pity; do not do me the disservice of thinking it is.)
~ and ~
Really, depression is a lot like insomnia. And when someone talks publicly about either, you really *should* assume that you have no suggestion that has not been tried, or at least considered. Sometimes, I just fucking say shit, because the pressure builds up too much for me to be smart and keep my fucking mouth shut. I'm NOT asking for advice. Advice pisses me off. I've been on anti-depressents since 1987. I've done it all.
~ and (the thing I took down from Twitter) ~
If American democracy had to fall it could have least have fallen to a charismatic madman, like Adolf Hitler, or an intelligent madman, like Joseph Stalin, or an interesting madman, like Castro. But no, we get Orange Mussolini, a puppet & utter idiot, champion of the ignoramus.
...but maybe we're only getting our just desserts for not being kinder to the ignoramuses.
You know what you can do? You can buy something.
Later Tater Beans,
Aunt Beast
4:49 p.m.