when you grow up, your heart dies
Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Things have been pretty good. I've been sleeping a lot (it's still difficult for me to stay up past 9 pm, but I wake up around 6 or 7 am) and hanging out with my family and my cats and catching up on my American television. Yesterday Mom told me that I get to be the one to bake the pumpkin pie for the family Thanksgiving. This is a huge deal, coming from a family of cooks. There are certain things that are prerequesite for any Thanksgiving feast: turkey (mine will be Quorn, with vegetarian gravy), stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. Other dishes may come and go, but those are the biggies, the centers. And for the first time in my life, I am in charge of one of those dishes. It's taken 28 years to be entrusted with one of the cornerstones of the family meal, but now I'm here, at long last. I've made it. I just hope I don't cock it up. I've only ever made one pumpkin pie before, so I'm thinking of making a practice pie before the big day.
Today I finally get to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D! I'm so excited. Last year it came out just after I left for the UK. Oh ho, today is my day, though.
I've been having lots of strange dreams involving jealousy lately. Mostly it's been other people jealous of me. Very odd. But I've been writing them all down, reviving the dream journal. I've also begun reading through some of my old dreams from a couple of years ago, and when I start reading them it's like I'm there in it again. The feelings and colours and shadows all come flooding back to me. It can be disturbing, especially with the nightmares, but the love dreams are just as potent as ever. I also draw the dresses that I wear in dreams whenever I see them and they make an impact on my subconscious. Usually the dresses are black and white. It's all so interesting. I would love to join or even begin a dream discussion group.
I've also been thinking a lot about the immediate future. My future, to be precise. I see things that I want, not material things, but how I want to be, who I want to be. Things in myself that I want to keep alive and things that I want to achieve or change. I feel like I'm on the edge of something huge. No change is immediate, save for a handful of circumstances such as birth or death, but whatever is in store for me is already set in motion. I feel little tingles whenever I stretch out my psychic feelers and tug on the strands in the web of everything around me. It feels safe and comforting but exciting and new, too. Like my friends around me, I'm still learning to trust myself and my instincts. But I do feel that good things are very close, closer than they've been in a long time. Not just around the bend, but a foot away, nearly here. Things I can almost see, almost brush with the tips of my fingers when I stretch out my hands.
Today I finally get to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D! I'm so excited. Last year it came out just after I left for the UK. Oh ho, today is my day, though.
I've been having lots of strange dreams involving jealousy lately. Mostly it's been other people jealous of me. Very odd. But I've been writing them all down, reviving the dream journal. I've also begun reading through some of my old dreams from a couple of years ago, and when I start reading them it's like I'm there in it again. The feelings and colours and shadows all come flooding back to me. It can be disturbing, especially with the nightmares, but the love dreams are just as potent as ever. I also draw the dresses that I wear in dreams whenever I see them and they make an impact on my subconscious. Usually the dresses are black and white. It's all so interesting. I would love to join or even begin a dream discussion group.
I've also been thinking a lot about the immediate future. My future, to be precise. I see things that I want, not material things, but how I want to be, who I want to be. Things in myself that I want to keep alive and things that I want to achieve or change. I feel like I'm on the edge of something huge. No change is immediate, save for a handful of circumstances such as birth or death, but whatever is in store for me is already set in motion. I feel little tingles whenever I stretch out my psychic feelers and tug on the strands in the web of everything around me. It feels safe and comforting but exciting and new, too. Like my friends around me, I'm still learning to trust myself and my instincts. But I do feel that good things are very close, closer than they've been in a long time. Not just around the bend, but a foot away, nearly here. Things I can almost see, almost brush with the tips of my fingers when I stretch out my hands.