“home” again
Originally published at Unwritten. You can comment here or there.
So i arrived “home” last night…
home- its such a hard word to say here, to say anywhere actually. This place, this house definitely ceased to feel like home a long time ago. I felt it when i left- my room reduced to a home for mold (due to the leaky roof)- then going away to my cousin after it was remodeled. Now, i’m a vagrant in a house i grew up in, bouncing from sofa to old bed tucked away in the corner of what was once our “playroom”
My parents house is being remodeled again, expanding the front room- expanding my sisters room. It looks like its going to be great looking- and yet it only serves to make me feel even more like a stranger here. I’m not really part of the changes, i just come home every few months to see more and more different- with the house, and with the family in general.
I dont want to be the stranger, looking in the window- but i find so little here for me. All i keep finding is major change, and drama. Angst, anger, and childish behavior- the things i have been struggling to remove from myself- are all here in full living color.