Subconsious Failures and emotional hopes

[greyblue_eyes00]

So today it’s my birthday…(it’s my birthday too!). Why is it that we as a human race will set ourselves up for failure? I am not talking about the element of poor decision making. Rather, it is the subconscious tendency we have to set goals or expectations that are not guaranteed to be fulfilled. For example, a wife wishes that her alcoholic husband will stop drinking if she does something. However, try as she might, every attempt to sober him up is unsuccessful. The wife then feels an increase and guilt with every failed attempt, hoping that this next one just might work. In reality, sobriety will only be obtained by the husband and is out of the wifes’ control. What she views as help is only hurting herself. Every time she sets a new hope, she is displacing her emotions onto her husband and is giving him emotional control. Many are unaware of when they put themselves in these “emotionally hopeless” situations and do not realize the pressure put upon themselves and others by such an oftentimes simple thing. “If I don’t make this green light I’m going to be in such a bad mood”. The weight of your emotions has just been placed upon the color of a street light. Sounds pretty stupid when you think about it. So why then do we do it? Why give up our power and control to something or someone which we cannot control the fate of? Displacement of personal control and the influence circumstances have on our emotions can also happen when we hope for something positive as well. “If I get an A on this test, its gonna make my day”. When rephrased, you are stating that you are going to let a stupid little test make you happy. If you fail, your entire day will be unhappy. Why give such control in your day to an insignificant quiz? Why let it get to you? I’m sure there are many times in your or someone else’s life that you can think of in which these seemingly subconscious events emerge. I even had a moment myself today. I told myself that if someone called me on my birthday then I would be happy and that’s all I wanted for my birthday. Granted, I knew the chances of failure were quite high. Of fact, I predicted that they would not call but I still decided to bank my happiness on it. Why do we lack the will and self control within our minds to save ourselves from subconscious failure? Are some able to help it where as others are destructively flooded by it? I can not answer these questions because what I wanted did actually occur through instant messaging and while it is not exactly what I had hoped for, I will settle in this case. Maybe it is just a pessimistic way of looking at life but if that is the case then pessimist people in reality the hopeful ones. Maybe we do it for that chance in a million in which our once thought to be impossible dreams come true. When the light finally is green we are overjoyed with happiness, finding pleasure in such a simple thing. I suppose it really depends on ones internal capacity to react. All I know is I that my wish for the phone call what met by a wonderful instant message that made my birthday complete. With a smile on my face and a peaceful feeling in my heart, I can say that through this cold I had a pretty good 19th birthday.

~Everytime is everything to me and nothing to you~