(no subject)
In what looked like a last-minute effort, UCSD also asked me to fly out on their dollar. I’ll be at 67 degrees by Tuesday. I’ll be hiking on the beach and thinking about the desert. With the ocean to my face, Joshua Tree will be only a handful of hours behind me.
An old climbing partner is at UCSD. I have a soft spot for his face because he was an escape portal during a bad summer. I was in Princeton because of my dad’s health - we knew it was the end but no one called it that. I sat waiting, read newspapers, and climbed. We met at the gym, climbed outdoors, and took winding roads in a slow lean on his motorcycle. Until I met him I never had the chance to walk into a dim bar wearing a leather jacket and carrying a motorcycle helmet. That crush still feels like the most generous and necessary life preserver. Like a life-preserver-hot-air-balloon. He asked me out the day my dad died.
I’ll only get a chance to see him briefly. During my visit he will be driving up and down the coast for job interviews and girlfriend commitments. Best this way, I think: I don’t want all the air released out of his body. It’s dangerous to remember when the past can puncture on the present. How do I keep him after I re-meet him?