isn't it strange
i've been in a weird mood lately. i guess it's because everything is changing and i never thought it would be. some of these changes are good...like with swimming. i've changed my entire approach to it and i'm kicking ass...not to brag or anything :o)
but with other things. this time next year, where will i be? where will my best friends be? will they still be my best friends? who will i care about most? what will i be losing? what will i be gaining? there's so much that i want to do before it's time to go.
but at the same time, i'm so excited! i want to be down south SO BAD. at least i think i do. there's nothing i want to escape from up here. there's nothing BAD going on with me right now. i'm just getting worried that everything is going to be changing up HERE and not with me down south and i wont have a clue about it. but maybe that's a good thing.
ever notice how you stop caring about something when it's not apart of your life anymore?
it's not "not caring" exactly. it's just....not a part of you anymore. it's not part of the routine. it's not your responsibility. it's just not YOURS. it's easier not to care about things when the constant reminder of it isn't bombarding you every single day. it's just strange. how one day everything is just different, and everything's changed.
it's so hard to get over the past sometimes. even though the way i like to think about it, it's not the past. i've already had the past. all that i'm afraid of losing is a future. i think about next year and everyone and everything changes. some people, i might never see them again. and i'm worried that it's not going to make a difference to them.
i want passion. i want people to miss each other. i want things to stay the same but they can't.
but with other things. this time next year, where will i be? where will my best friends be? will they still be my best friends? who will i care about most? what will i be losing? what will i be gaining? there's so much that i want to do before it's time to go.
but at the same time, i'm so excited! i want to be down south SO BAD. at least i think i do. there's nothing i want to escape from up here. there's nothing BAD going on with me right now. i'm just getting worried that everything is going to be changing up HERE and not with me down south and i wont have a clue about it. but maybe that's a good thing.
ever notice how you stop caring about something when it's not apart of your life anymore?
it's not "not caring" exactly. it's just....not a part of you anymore. it's not part of the routine. it's not your responsibility. it's just not YOURS. it's easier not to care about things when the constant reminder of it isn't bombarding you every single day. it's just strange. how one day everything is just different, and everything's changed.
it's so hard to get over the past sometimes. even though the way i like to think about it, it's not the past. i've already had the past. all that i'm afraid of losing is a future. i think about next year and everyone and everything changes. some people, i might never see them again. and i'm worried that it's not going to make a difference to them.
i want passion. i want people to miss each other. i want things to stay the same but they can't.