a song of ice and fire
First, for anyone who's not aware, saiunkoku_fic is holding their annual Secret Santa exchange. Everyone should head over and sign up, it's going to be awesome!
Here's an interesting blog post for anyone who reads George R.R. Martin-- basically a critique of his story structure in writing A Song of Ice and Fire, and how it might be linked to the long delay in the writing of A Dance with Dragons.
I ended up there because I was reading Orbit's post on breaking the rules of writing in NaNoWriMo, which is also well worth the read.
xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx
I got back one of my assessment grades today, and it was . . . not terrible, but also not awesome. I have a feeling that a distinction in this particular course is pretty much impossible. Which leads me to doubt whether a distinction is possible in my other courses.
Which, of course, makes me feel . . . well, terrible. Because somewhere in my brain there's something that demands that I excel at whatever I'm doing, and when I don't . . . it's this sick twisting in my gut again, the understanding that, as always, I'm not good enough.
I became a great deal more confident during my time in Japan, I think. I had work for which I was praised, friends who bolstered my self image, hobbies at which I could succeed. Just the fact that I was living in Japan made me special. After five years, I suppose it's only natural that I acquired a swelled head.
And only natural that, once again, the world will show me just how misplaced my self confidence is. Will demonstrate that I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. Will illustrate that I'm barely average, barely adequate to the task to which I have set myself.
Oh, I will pass. Of that, at least, I have no doubt. I will do reasonably all right.
But that's all. Because in the end, I'm not special, I'm not amazing. I'm just ordinary, one of the crowd, shuffling along somewhere in the middle line. Unremarked, unremarkable.
Me.
Here's an interesting blog post for anyone who reads George R.R. Martin-- basically a critique of his story structure in writing A Song of Ice and Fire, and how it might be linked to the long delay in the writing of A Dance with Dragons.
I ended up there because I was reading Orbit's post on breaking the rules of writing in NaNoWriMo, which is also well worth the read.
xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx xOx
I got back one of my assessment grades today, and it was . . . not terrible, but also not awesome. I have a feeling that a distinction in this particular course is pretty much impossible. Which leads me to doubt whether a distinction is possible in my other courses.
Which, of course, makes me feel . . . well, terrible. Because somewhere in my brain there's something that demands that I excel at whatever I'm doing, and when I don't . . . it's this sick twisting in my gut again, the understanding that, as always, I'm not good enough.
I became a great deal more confident during my time in Japan, I think. I had work for which I was praised, friends who bolstered my self image, hobbies at which I could succeed. Just the fact that I was living in Japan made me special. After five years, I suppose it's only natural that I acquired a swelled head.
And only natural that, once again, the world will show me just how misplaced my self confidence is. Will demonstrate that I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. Will illustrate that I'm barely average, barely adequate to the task to which I have set myself.
Oh, I will pass. Of that, at least, I have no doubt. I will do reasonably all right.
But that's all. Because in the end, I'm not special, I'm not amazing. I'm just ordinary, one of the crowd, shuffling along somewhere in the middle line. Unremarked, unremarkable.
Me.