recessional
I'm in England again, and it doesn't feel quite real. Except my fingertips hurt from practicing, else I'd think this was all a dream. And, well, it's not nearly as disquieting as my subconscious.
I had a strange dream last night. It was long and involved, but the part I remember best was that I had six brothers, all younger, all like me, nut-brown as coconut shells. One of them went swimming under a bridge with a friend and was bitten by a rat-- the rat ran through my short dark hair as I and another person were struggling to pull him from the water. He died quickly and terribly, with strange squiggling trails growing under and out of his skin like ropes.
I gave up on sleeping, showered, and practiced the harp. I am most certainly inadequate for what I have to do tomorrow, but when am I ever not?
It's good to see old friends again, but sometimes I wonder if I am in fact here at all. My heart feels untouchable, somewhere far away. Perhaps tomorrow, or the next day, it will slam back into my body. Or maybe I should be glad of its absence, and likewise the absence of thought, and simply drift in this effortless in-between for as long as it lasts.
I had a strange dream last night. It was long and involved, but the part I remember best was that I had six brothers, all younger, all like me, nut-brown as coconut shells. One of them went swimming under a bridge with a friend and was bitten by a rat-- the rat ran through my short dark hair as I and another person were struggling to pull him from the water. He died quickly and terribly, with strange squiggling trails growing under and out of his skin like ropes.
I gave up on sleeping, showered, and practiced the harp. I am most certainly inadequate for what I have to do tomorrow, but when am I ever not?
It's good to see old friends again, but sometimes I wonder if I am in fact here at all. My heart feels untouchable, somewhere far away. Perhaps tomorrow, or the next day, it will slam back into my body. Or maybe I should be glad of its absence, and likewise the absence of thought, and simply drift in this effortless in-between for as long as it lasts.