Christmas day in the morning
Getting towards 3 AM. I don't want to sleep. Not because I'm not tired (I am tired). Not because I'm jet lagged (my body has given up on time changes and just wants to sleep all the time). Not because it's too much work to get ready to go to sleep. I just don't want to sleep.
I spent a good five or six hours wrapping presents today. By the time I finished my hips were aching from sitting on the cold floor of my room for so long.
I stood in the driveway so late on Christmas Eve that it was Christmas Day and looked up at the stars. The cold air bit at my exposed skin, and the stars were bright behind its clarity. I picked out Orion easily, and the Pleiades. The hot pressure of tears behind my eyes provided convenient contrast.
It's been at least two years since you last cried, I told myself. Do you really want to break that record here and now? You don't. And besides, they need you inside.
In the yard behind, I heard low growling and high-pitched squeals, and the scramble of claw on bark.
And, Peace on Earth. But to animals, it's just another day. Another day's struggle to live. Back to the stars, remote points of light: Be grateful. Nothing is trying to eat you, nothing wants to kill you. Be grateful, and go inside.
I went back inside.
I did not cry. It was easy.
I spent a good five or six hours wrapping presents today. By the time I finished my hips were aching from sitting on the cold floor of my room for so long.
I stood in the driveway so late on Christmas Eve that it was Christmas Day and looked up at the stars. The cold air bit at my exposed skin, and the stars were bright behind its clarity. I picked out Orion easily, and the Pleiades. The hot pressure of tears behind my eyes provided convenient contrast.
It's been at least two years since you last cried, I told myself. Do you really want to break that record here and now? You don't. And besides, they need you inside.
In the yard behind, I heard low growling and high-pitched squeals, and the scramble of claw on bark.
And, Peace on Earth. But to animals, it's just another day. Another day's struggle to live. Back to the stars, remote points of light: Be grateful. Nothing is trying to eat you, nothing wants to kill you. Be grateful, and go inside.
I went back inside.
I did not cry. It was easy.