Swarovski crystal meth?
An addict has to stay away from her triggers, we all know that. But I had no idea that going out to a few parties last week was going to lead to this kind of self-destructive behavior... but let me explain.
I went out. I had fun. I decided I wanted to go out more. I realized, girlishly, that I had nothing to wear. (This is almost literally true, since all my clothes are currently 2-3 sizes too big.) I went shopping. Then I needed to accessorize: one of my new shirts has a plunging-V neckline that will only serve to emphasize my lack of cleavage if I don't put in a necklace to glitz up that vast expanse of skin. The mall was useless to me.
So you see how I came to be standing over the Swarovski crystal case at the bead store. (What was I thinking, incidentally, moving into a house that is less than two blocks from a bead store?)
The store clerk said, "It looks like you are over 50 so you get 20% off." I thought, wow, I guess I should accept the discount, but is it really such a bad hair-skin-everything day? Then I realized: "Oh, you mean the number of beads, not my age!" and she laughed and said, "That's right, Swarovskis, so dangerous and addictive we can only sell to adults!"
So here I am, falling off the beadwagon after ten years of sobriety. Who's going to be there for me when I hit bottom?
I went out. I had fun. I decided I wanted to go out more. I realized, girlishly, that I had nothing to wear. (This is almost literally true, since all my clothes are currently 2-3 sizes too big.) I went shopping. Then I needed to accessorize: one of my new shirts has a plunging-V neckline that will only serve to emphasize my lack of cleavage if I don't put in a necklace to glitz up that vast expanse of skin. The mall was useless to me.
So you see how I came to be standing over the Swarovski crystal case at the bead store. (What was I thinking, incidentally, moving into a house that is less than two blocks from a bead store?)
The store clerk said, "It looks like you are over 50 so you get 20% off." I thought, wow, I guess I should accept the discount, but is it really such a bad hair-skin-everything day? Then I realized: "Oh, you mean the number of beads, not my age!" and she laughed and said, "That's right, Swarovskis, so dangerous and addictive we can only sell to adults!"
So here I am, falling off the beadwagon after ten years of sobriety. Who's going to be there for me when I hit bottom?