it's okay

[gretta]

it's only a little blood. it wasn't a real attempt. it's okay. it's okay it's okay it's okay

and i called brian and i didn't mean to. he is the only person who used to care. i can't call my sister. i can't do that to her.

it's okay. it's o=kay. it will be okay and it will heal up and i will pretend that i'm okay.

i can't sleep. i need to go to the hospital.

no i don't.
it's okay.
FUCK i wish somebody loved me

i want to die but i dont because if i am dead i cant have dreams that brian loves me still and we are happy.

FUCK i cant even breathe.

i miss anita paige stilson and kody and brittany osborne because they were like my family for a while, and that was great. i am kicked out of the family. that fucking hurts so much. i have never had a real family, and i did, and now i don't, and that's okay. people get kicked out all the time. i should have married brian on that day, and i should have succeeded, and i should have loved him as much as he desrveds.

i deserve to die. i need to make a better attempt at this. i can't bear to live with this fucking failiure.