HAH
I have no reason to delete my journal! I am not sad!
If Brian does not want me, so be it! 10,000 other people want me -- I will be with them!
I am really realy drunk!
I am doing laundry and packing up everything that was Brian's -- I don't want it anymore, it makes me feel sad inside for things that oculd have been but that got fucked over somehow that I don't understand!
I fucked up today, and I care, but I'm pretending I don't care.
I have had one bottle of wine and it is good. Jimmy, we need to hang out sometime. Not tomorrow, maybe the next day? And if we could go to Trader Joes and I could buy maybe 4 bottles of wine, that would be nice. I have some moneys. Everything will be alright.
I think I am goign to be a raver, because I like glitter and I like to dance, and I have no real love. Only nerd *hugz* and boozes. This is okay, I don't need love. I do need a guitar and an amp, though. Maybe I can get one for xmas. Maybe, if my dad still loves me. He'll probably love me a lot more now that Brian hates me.
And Brian says he doesn't,and maybe he doesn't, but I need him. ANd if I can't have him, I am learning to cope. Yes I am. Right now. Life goes on. I will not brood forever like I did with Dylan.
So, I am sorry, Brian, fi that makes you sad. I'm not letting you ruin my life. I wish you the best. I hope you get a house and I hope you rock out foreer and I hope it makes you feel complete. I am going to school, and going to phoenix to meet Jakobe, and going to be drunk and dance and have a gay ol' time. There is nothing else I can do right now. I take it as it comes.
.........I am really, really really realyl rdunk.
People are an important part of life. I want ot meet everyone. I don't want to be a part of a 'thing'. I don't want to make decisions based on what others will think, including 'significant others'.
I am changing my name to Velociraptor Inseminator.
It's so deathmetal.
THis liver ain't big enough for the two of us.
It was a beautiful 14 months. I cherish every bit of it. Remember that time it was raining and we had a tiff and you went on a walk and brought me back a rose and a mocha? You were such a doll. I wish I could do things like that for you. Boys are so impossible to please. You can haev all the sexign you want. Please smile. Not for me, because that's no incentive -- smile for you.
Be the Brian I fell in love with. You were better-off then.
I wish you luck.
I wish me strength.
i'm sorry i hacked your shit. i guess. i dont see how it hurt anything. i just wanted to write you a letter you might actually see.
I am For You.
If Brian does not want me, so be it! 10,000 other people want me -- I will be with them!
I am really realy drunk!
I am doing laundry and packing up everything that was Brian's -- I don't want it anymore, it makes me feel sad inside for things that oculd have been but that got fucked over somehow that I don't understand!
I fucked up today, and I care, but I'm pretending I don't care.
I have had one bottle of wine and it is good. Jimmy, we need to hang out sometime. Not tomorrow, maybe the next day? And if we could go to Trader Joes and I could buy maybe 4 bottles of wine, that would be nice. I have some moneys. Everything will be alright.
I think I am goign to be a raver, because I like glitter and I like to dance, and I have no real love. Only nerd *hugz* and boozes. This is okay, I don't need love. I do need a guitar and an amp, though. Maybe I can get one for xmas. Maybe, if my dad still loves me. He'll probably love me a lot more now that Brian hates me.
And Brian says he doesn't,and maybe he doesn't, but I need him. ANd if I can't have him, I am learning to cope. Yes I am. Right now. Life goes on. I will not brood forever like I did with Dylan.
So, I am sorry, Brian, fi that makes you sad. I'm not letting you ruin my life. I wish you the best. I hope you get a house and I hope you rock out foreer and I hope it makes you feel complete. I am going to school, and going to phoenix to meet Jakobe, and going to be drunk and dance and have a gay ol' time. There is nothing else I can do right now. I take it as it comes.
.........I am really, really really realyl rdunk.
People are an important part of life. I want ot meet everyone. I don't want to be a part of a 'thing'. I don't want to make decisions based on what others will think, including 'significant others'.
I am changing my name to Velociraptor Inseminator.
It's so deathmetal.
THis liver ain't big enough for the two of us.
It was a beautiful 14 months. I cherish every bit of it. Remember that time it was raining and we had a tiff and you went on a walk and brought me back a rose and a mocha? You were such a doll. I wish I could do things like that for you. Boys are so impossible to please. You can haev all the sexign you want. Please smile. Not for me, because that's no incentive -- smile for you.
Be the Brian I fell in love with. You were better-off then.
I wish you luck.
I wish me strength.
i'm sorry i hacked your shit. i guess. i dont see how it hurt anything. i just wanted to write you a letter you might actually see.
I am For You.