life...
When life gives you shit - you make...shitaki mushroom soup? I don't know, but that's what I'm getting these days. It sucks pretty much. I'm scared, mixed up, confused, tired, worried, HURT...oh so hurt. It's like it's been a lie for so long and I don't even know what is real anymore. I wish I did. I wish I didn't know sometimes. I wish I didn't feel so much hatred. There are so many things I don't get - so many things I may never understand. Why did you feel the need to try to make peace by telling me you are envious? Why did you feel the need to sound all smart and make it sound like you are so on top of this. Both of you - you knew what you were messing with, you have no ground to stand on. You are simply whores. Nasty whores that try to ruin peoples lives. Congrats - I hope talking to me helps you sleep at night. I hope you are right and I hope this works - more than anything. I don't want to feel this way ever again. Not being able to eat, sleep, concentrate, speak, put thoughts together, move, care what I look (haha, even smell...) like. My mood has been all over the place - here one second, there the next. Grades - nope, not good. I just want everything to fall into place, I want my life to not suck. And I want it to be because of you, honest you, that it gets better. I want people to see it the way I see and to see those people that way too. I want to be given lemons...and make lemonade.
(Caution: "You" refers to multiple people in this entry - I chose to leave things very anonymous.)
(Caution: "You" refers to multiple people in this entry - I chose to leave things very anonymous.)