Will things ever get better?
Things have been completely miserable at work for the past few weeks. I have a new supervisor (we'll call her JM) since my old supervisor (who we will call JF) is on maternity leave. Things were fine in the beginning but a few weeks ago I got an email from JM telling me she wanted to meet with me about my schedule. That due to some requests of teachers she wanted to discuss ways to improve my schedule.
Okay if you don't know what I do this is going to be confusing so I'm going to try to explain it to you before I get into this. I work one on one with kids with disabilities in general ed settings. These are all preschool students that have been identified as having disabilities. I'm not working with severely disabled kids but kids who have a hard time sitting still (who may have ADHD but haven't been diagnosed) or kids who have aggression, etc. I'll explain how it works. Say "Andrew" has an extremely hard time sitting still and listening to his teachers, gets up in the middle of circle time, is disruptive, etc, and it's identified that he needs a SEIT (that's what I am). I go in for a specified amount of time each week. Lets pretend that Andrew gets 5 hours per week. I would normally break that up into 2 2.5 hour sessions, in which I go into the classroom and work on those specified issues with a kid, trying to give them the tools to survive in the classroom when I'm not there.
When I got this email from Joan about revising my schedule I had no idea what to think. I hadn't had much contact with her and didn't really know how she worked yet. Anyway, it turns out that one specific teacher wants me in her classroom 5 days a week for a 5 hour case. To me this is absolutely ridiculous! By the time I get there, it's time to leave. 1 hour is not enough time to really work on anything. It just doesn't work that way. This is my 4 year and I've NEVER done things this way. I've never split a 5 hour case into anything more than 2 2.5 hour sessions. And now she wants 5 sessions. My old supervisor, JF, would have stood up for me. JF would have said, that's not how things work and she has 4 other kids that she has to worry about and she'll be wasting time commuting from school to school, etc. But JM says "Okay we'll give you what you want!" When I went in for this meeting JM proposed a schedule that had me seeing EACH of my kids for only 1 hour per day. It also gave me a 3 hour break in the middle of my day. I was FURIOUS!!! What am I supposed to do with a 3 hour break when I can't go home and don't have an office and have to just sit around? I emailed JM that night and said that I didn't think it was going to work and here were the reasons why. I CCed her boss on it. Thankfully I did that cause her boss contacted another one of my old supervisors and she said she'd help me. In talking to her she said that we have to be patient with JM cause she is just learning the job. Yes, fine but I feel as if my time and work are not being respected.
I got over this whole thing and thought things would get better. A few days later I get another email from her telling me that she is giving me a new case. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but I already have 25 direct service hours. Full time at my company is 28 direct service hours and this case that she was giving me was 5 hours. This means I'd be 2 hours over putting me at over time. You can't TELL me that I have to work overtime, you really need to ASK. I've ALWAYS been asked. JM is my 4th supervisor in 4 years with this company and I've NEVER had a problem with any of them until her. I was VERY angry about this. So angry in fact that I made an apt with JM's boss, TW, (the head of the Early Childhood Dept at my company) to have a meeting. I talked and talked and talked to so many people and was getting more and more nervous about this meeting. I didn't know what I was going to say to TW! I was nervous that what I wanted to say was going to sound like I was telling on JM when really I was just frustrated and didn't feel as if I was being respected. The morning of the meeting Kamil asked me what I hoped would come from this meeting, and I couldn't figure it out. TW is not going to fire JM. I guess I really just wanted her to know how frustrated I was. But because I couldn't come up with a good answer, I cancelled the meeting.
That day I some how had to talk to JM. I am at 4 different schools but the school I am at for half my time (15 hours per week) is the school in which JM has her office, therefore I run into her. Anyway, I somehow decided to just try to kill her with kindness. My mom said later that what I was trying to do was get her on my side. Which is true. I guess I was trying to get her to like me so things would be easier on me in the future. A whole lot of good that did. Things have just gotten worse.
2 days ago JM emailed me saying we needed to talk. She told me that I was being taken off a case. I have NEVER been taken off a case in my LIFE! The way she said it was very sweet but also very much like you're being taken off cause the director requested it and cause you can't handle it. Not in those words but that was the gist of it. I was visibly upset! I had spoken to the director that apparently wants me off the case several weeks ago and she asked how I was doing. I work with 2 kids in her school. I said it was going really well with one of them but it was a little more difficult with the other. I was still trying to find my place with him and the best strategies to use with him. I saw the director a while later and she said "you know not all matches work. If it's not working for you, we can find someone else to work with him." I said "No, it's not that, it's just that I don't know him very well yet and we don't really have a relationship yet since I'm only there for 5 hours/week. I just need to establish a relationship with him and I think the rest will follow." And now apparently this director wants me off the case. If this director had said that to me again I wouldn't have felt that it was condescending. But the way that JM told me all of this it was very condescending and as if to say I'm sorry but you're not good enough at your job so we need to find someone else. Apparently JM's boss, TW was brought into this as well. And now I'm stressed that TW is going to think I can't do my job well! This was yesterday.
Today, I had a great day at work. I saw 3 kids and although I was kicked, had several things thrown at my head and my necklace was almost pulled off my neck in an attempt to try to hurt me, I had a good day. Kamil texted me asking me how my day was and I said it was great cause I didn't have to deal with Joan! Until 10pm when I get an email from her! My first thought is ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! It's 10pm and I have a LIFE!!! In this email she is asking me to do an educational evaluation for a child (who is not on my caseload). She wants me to get back to her ASAP cause she has a meeting in the morning with the director of this school. I'm sorry, you should have emailed me earlier cause I am NOT responding to you at 10pm! The only reason I saw this email was because I get my work email on my phone, which I am thinking of turning off.
As you will remember, I am already working overtime. Today I was at work from 8:30am-5pm. Tell me WHEN during the day am I going to do an education evaluation for another child? I am already working overtime and I am NOT staying later than I have to! The other full time SEIT is never asked to do anything. JM picks on me and asks me to do everything for her! She even wants me to take over HER caseload, now that I'm being taken off a case, cause she doesn't have time! BS! I don't have time either! This woman is very manipulative and I can't work with her. She is making my life a nightmare. I want to go to TW desperately cause there is NO ONE else I can talk to. I need advice on how to handle her but I have NO ONE to go to! She is making my life a living hell and emails me DAILY for something! I am not your fucking servant and I'm not going to do everything you tell me to do just cause you tell me to. She is trying to change the whole system at my company. Every time something happens with her I want to just quit. I like my job, but what I like about it is working with the kids. That's what I'm good at! I can't deal with her! I don't know what to do anymore and I'm getting close to just leaving!
Okay if you don't know what I do this is going to be confusing so I'm going to try to explain it to you before I get into this. I work one on one with kids with disabilities in general ed settings. These are all preschool students that have been identified as having disabilities. I'm not working with severely disabled kids but kids who have a hard time sitting still (who may have ADHD but haven't been diagnosed) or kids who have aggression, etc. I'll explain how it works. Say "Andrew" has an extremely hard time sitting still and listening to his teachers, gets up in the middle of circle time, is disruptive, etc, and it's identified that he needs a SEIT (that's what I am). I go in for a specified amount of time each week. Lets pretend that Andrew gets 5 hours per week. I would normally break that up into 2 2.5 hour sessions, in which I go into the classroom and work on those specified issues with a kid, trying to give them the tools to survive in the classroom when I'm not there.
When I got this email from Joan about revising my schedule I had no idea what to think. I hadn't had much contact with her and didn't really know how she worked yet. Anyway, it turns out that one specific teacher wants me in her classroom 5 days a week for a 5 hour case. To me this is absolutely ridiculous! By the time I get there, it's time to leave. 1 hour is not enough time to really work on anything. It just doesn't work that way. This is my 4 year and I've NEVER done things this way. I've never split a 5 hour case into anything more than 2 2.5 hour sessions. And now she wants 5 sessions. My old supervisor, JF, would have stood up for me. JF would have said, that's not how things work and she has 4 other kids that she has to worry about and she'll be wasting time commuting from school to school, etc. But JM says "Okay we'll give you what you want!" When I went in for this meeting JM proposed a schedule that had me seeing EACH of my kids for only 1 hour per day. It also gave me a 3 hour break in the middle of my day. I was FURIOUS!!! What am I supposed to do with a 3 hour break when I can't go home and don't have an office and have to just sit around? I emailed JM that night and said that I didn't think it was going to work and here were the reasons why. I CCed her boss on it. Thankfully I did that cause her boss contacted another one of my old supervisors and she said she'd help me. In talking to her she said that we have to be patient with JM cause she is just learning the job. Yes, fine but I feel as if my time and work are not being respected.
I got over this whole thing and thought things would get better. A few days later I get another email from her telling me that she is giving me a new case. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but I already have 25 direct service hours. Full time at my company is 28 direct service hours and this case that she was giving me was 5 hours. This means I'd be 2 hours over putting me at over time. You can't TELL me that I have to work overtime, you really need to ASK. I've ALWAYS been asked. JM is my 4th supervisor in 4 years with this company and I've NEVER had a problem with any of them until her. I was VERY angry about this. So angry in fact that I made an apt with JM's boss, TW, (the head of the Early Childhood Dept at my company) to have a meeting. I talked and talked and talked to so many people and was getting more and more nervous about this meeting. I didn't know what I was going to say to TW! I was nervous that what I wanted to say was going to sound like I was telling on JM when really I was just frustrated and didn't feel as if I was being respected. The morning of the meeting Kamil asked me what I hoped would come from this meeting, and I couldn't figure it out. TW is not going to fire JM. I guess I really just wanted her to know how frustrated I was. But because I couldn't come up with a good answer, I cancelled the meeting.
That day I some how had to talk to JM. I am at 4 different schools but the school I am at for half my time (15 hours per week) is the school in which JM has her office, therefore I run into her. Anyway, I somehow decided to just try to kill her with kindness. My mom said later that what I was trying to do was get her on my side. Which is true. I guess I was trying to get her to like me so things would be easier on me in the future. A whole lot of good that did. Things have just gotten worse.
2 days ago JM emailed me saying we needed to talk. She told me that I was being taken off a case. I have NEVER been taken off a case in my LIFE! The way she said it was very sweet but also very much like you're being taken off cause the director requested it and cause you can't handle it. Not in those words but that was the gist of it. I was visibly upset! I had spoken to the director that apparently wants me off the case several weeks ago and she asked how I was doing. I work with 2 kids in her school. I said it was going really well with one of them but it was a little more difficult with the other. I was still trying to find my place with him and the best strategies to use with him. I saw the director a while later and she said "you know not all matches work. If it's not working for you, we can find someone else to work with him." I said "No, it's not that, it's just that I don't know him very well yet and we don't really have a relationship yet since I'm only there for 5 hours/week. I just need to establish a relationship with him and I think the rest will follow." And now apparently this director wants me off the case. If this director had said that to me again I wouldn't have felt that it was condescending. But the way that JM told me all of this it was very condescending and as if to say I'm sorry but you're not good enough at your job so we need to find someone else. Apparently JM's boss, TW was brought into this as well. And now I'm stressed that TW is going to think I can't do my job well! This was yesterday.
Today, I had a great day at work. I saw 3 kids and although I was kicked, had several things thrown at my head and my necklace was almost pulled off my neck in an attempt to try to hurt me, I had a good day. Kamil texted me asking me how my day was and I said it was great cause I didn't have to deal with Joan! Until 10pm when I get an email from her! My first thought is ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! It's 10pm and I have a LIFE!!! In this email she is asking me to do an educational evaluation for a child (who is not on my caseload). She wants me to get back to her ASAP cause she has a meeting in the morning with the director of this school. I'm sorry, you should have emailed me earlier cause I am NOT responding to you at 10pm! The only reason I saw this email was because I get my work email on my phone, which I am thinking of turning off.
As you will remember, I am already working overtime. Today I was at work from 8:30am-5pm. Tell me WHEN during the day am I going to do an education evaluation for another child? I am already working overtime and I am NOT staying later than I have to! The other full time SEIT is never asked to do anything. JM picks on me and asks me to do everything for her! She even wants me to take over HER caseload, now that I'm being taken off a case, cause she doesn't have time! BS! I don't have time either! This woman is very manipulative and I can't work with her. She is making my life a nightmare. I want to go to TW desperately cause there is NO ONE else I can talk to. I need advice on how to handle her but I have NO ONE to go to! She is making my life a living hell and emails me DAILY for something! I am not your fucking servant and I'm not going to do everything you tell me to do just cause you tell me to. She is trying to change the whole system at my company. Every time something happens with her I want to just quit. I like my job, but what I like about it is working with the kids. That's what I'm good at! I can't deal with her! I don't know what to do anymore and I'm getting close to just leaving!