Ooh-wah, etc.
I DID GET A GOOD NIGHT'S sleep which was excellent because today was a whole new layer of intense. Mostly intense good, although I did have a big cry in the middle. I'm sad because my sister is going home to England, and I will miss her and the boys horribly, and she was crying today because she doesn't want to go home either.
I think she'll be happy enough when she gets there, but it's hard for her to leave all the family, especially my mum when she is not very well.
In the car on the way home I was overcome with sadness and had to park at the side of the road. I was exactly in every way like that little weeping emoticon on Yahoo instant messaging, and you can see its little mouth going ooh-wah, ooh-wah.
The thing about grief in losing people, for a short time or a permanent one, is that there's a small part of it which is very joyful, because how terrible it would be not to mind. At least we care that much, so that parting is sad. We have one more day, anyway.
I'm sad in particular that Felix is going, because I really feel we are kindred spirits. We'll see each other again, but he will change in the meantime. I know that's part of the grand circle of life, but that makes me a little blue as well. He'll no doubt be even better and more interesting and funny and lovely when he's older, but I think it's impossible that I will love him more than I do now, and I will miss his three-and-a-half-year-old self very much.
I think she'll be happy enough when she gets there, but it's hard for her to leave all the family, especially my mum when she is not very well.
In the car on the way home I was overcome with sadness and had to park at the side of the road. I was exactly in every way like that little weeping emoticon on Yahoo instant messaging, and you can see its little mouth going ooh-wah, ooh-wah.
The thing about grief in losing people, for a short time or a permanent one, is that there's a small part of it which is very joyful, because how terrible it would be not to mind. At least we care that much, so that parting is sad. We have one more day, anyway.
I'm sad in particular that Felix is going, because I really feel we are kindred spirits. We'll see each other again, but he will change in the meantime. I know that's part of the grand circle of life, but that makes me a little blue as well. He'll no doubt be even better and more interesting and funny and lovely when he's older, but I think it's impossible that I will love him more than I do now, and I will miss his three-and-a-half-year-old self very much.