Drama........
Not much of an update. Been a pretty "blah" week. Managed to get my car back to progressive to get some minor things cleaned up. I also managed to make it to one of the Deaf dinners at the Westshore mall.
But on a damn is mike stupid note. I have been overly dramatic about JE. I mean lets accept somethings here, I am crazy about her. If any of you all didn't realize this before then ya might want to get your empathy motors tuned up. My friend Kevin even went so far as to point out that before I was never happy, just okay. But since I started seeing JE I actually was happy. So that build up a lot of pressure. Now lets go overboard because well thats what I am good at.
Betrayal, JE asked me once what I thought my biggest flaw was. This is it, I fear betrayal, and I always think I am going to be betrayed. I dis-trust so many people around me always worried about their own agenda. I have a pretty good idea where this stems from, but I haven't managed to reign it in.
Emotion, I am a friggin emotional roller-coster, who isn't, but mine carries a lot of Drama. My shield for this in relationships in the past has been, fail me once, then I sever ties. Well JE has failed countless times, not in the future sense but in the present, but I found that I didn't want to sever the ties, why the heck is that. I just don't want to walk away from her.
Freedom, I might need to just let her go......besides I don't think she feels the same way about me as I do her. Freedom also stands for myself, I am so suppressed sometimes it drives me mad. I know it has to be because I am so overwhelmingly attracted to her, while all the while I cannot imagine myself with someone so lovely.
So this is the Drama that I am carring and I have force on to her. How unfair is that........She told me once that she wished she had held off on dating me......I am sure I have made her regret not waiting......all I seem to be doing is making things worse......God help me.....
But on a damn is mike stupid note. I have been overly dramatic about JE. I mean lets accept somethings here, I am crazy about her. If any of you all didn't realize this before then ya might want to get your empathy motors tuned up. My friend Kevin even went so far as to point out that before I was never happy, just okay. But since I started seeing JE I actually was happy. So that build up a lot of pressure. Now lets go overboard because well thats what I am good at.
Betrayal, JE asked me once what I thought my biggest flaw was. This is it, I fear betrayal, and I always think I am going to be betrayed. I dis-trust so many people around me always worried about their own agenda. I have a pretty good idea where this stems from, but I haven't managed to reign it in.
Emotion, I am a friggin emotional roller-coster, who isn't, but mine carries a lot of Drama. My shield for this in relationships in the past has been, fail me once, then I sever ties. Well JE has failed countless times, not in the future sense but in the present, but I found that I didn't want to sever the ties, why the heck is that. I just don't want to walk away from her.
Freedom, I might need to just let her go......besides I don't think she feels the same way about me as I do her. Freedom also stands for myself, I am so suppressed sometimes it drives me mad. I know it has to be because I am so overwhelmingly attracted to her, while all the while I cannot imagine myself with someone so lovely.
So this is the Drama that I am carring and I have force on to her. How unfair is that........She told me once that she wished she had held off on dating me......I am sure I have made her regret not waiting......all I seem to be doing is making things worse......God help me.....