Local Color
You all know Jack Frost, right? Elfish character who flits about on icy mornings, doodling crystal patterns on windows? Folkloric anthropomorphized personification of crisp, cold, winter weather? Yeah, that guy.
Jack Frost does not live in Georgia.
I'm thinking the local variation might be more like "Bubba Muggs," an enormous fat man who slaps you in the face with a steaming hot towel whenever you go outside, and then sits on it until you can get back to some climate control. Or maybe "Billy-Ray Tree-Jizz," a mischievous sprite who capers around the suburbs and trailer parks continuously upending his bottomless bucket of pollen as he goes, taking particular glee in jamming a fistful up the nose of any mortals he happens across. I briefly considered "Smoggy Bob," but upon consideration I have to concede that if that particular personification lives anywhere in the US, it's probably LA. However, I feel certain he keeps a summer home in Atlanta and visits regularly, along with his cousin "Too Much Goddamn Sun Fred."
Ok, that last one was a stretch. The sun is clearly scrambling my brains. At any rate, the one week of Spring I actually enjoy is officially over now that we're breaking 90 degrees and 5000 pollen count. Nice! I think I'm just going to stay indoors until late Fall.
Jack Frost does not live in Georgia.
I'm thinking the local variation might be more like "Bubba Muggs," an enormous fat man who slaps you in the face with a steaming hot towel whenever you go outside, and then sits on it until you can get back to some climate control. Or maybe "Billy-Ray Tree-Jizz," a mischievous sprite who capers around the suburbs and trailer parks continuously upending his bottomless bucket of pollen as he goes, taking particular glee in jamming a fistful up the nose of any mortals he happens across. I briefly considered "Smoggy Bob," but upon consideration I have to concede that if that particular personification lives anywhere in the US, it's probably LA. However, I feel certain he keeps a summer home in Atlanta and visits regularly, along with his cousin "Too Much Goddamn Sun Fred."
Ok, that last one was a stretch. The sun is clearly scrambling my brains. At any rate, the one week of Spring I actually enjoy is officially over now that we're breaking 90 degrees and 5000 pollen count. Nice! I think I'm just going to stay indoors until late Fall.