(no subject)
gremlingirl65: Because, I know that even when we've both had our pit falls, our bumps, our boulder,s we've stayed on the same road, the same path. We've been able to sort through everything. I know I Love you, becasue I know that when I see you, when I feel you, that I feel it all.
BlindedByHate05: I don't really want to have this conversation right now.....just because it's being done over the internet, but likewise, I don't want to have it over the phone.
Auto response from gremlingirl65: c.b.*
gremlingirl65: Okay, but I will say this. In a nut shell, Love can be Falling to the bottom, where it seems impossible to get up, and then a hand comes down, and latches on and pulls you back up.
gremlingirl65: I don't want to break up Christopher.
BlindedByHate05: Honestly........your views on what you feel that Love is is quite different than what I feel it is........sort of. I don't know.
BlindedByHate05: goddamnit
gremlingirl65: That was in a nutshell.
BlindedByHate05: I know
BlindedByHate05: but still
BlindedByHate05: I will say this.......damnit I don't want to have this talk this way.
gremlingirl65: Then we shouldn't.
BlindedByHate05: I know but everything is just right here. argf
gremlingirl65: Yeah...
gremlingirl65: Well, can we talk more so in detail about other things? With out coming to the "end" conclusion?
BlindedByHate05: I guess?
BlindedByHate05: I feel like we've moved too fast already......but personally, not wanting to be rude, but it feels like you've been one to move things along faster than I.
BlindedByHate05:
gremlingirl65: Well, we could take it slower. I was acting on sheer fear of not knowing how to handle this relationship.
gremlingirl65: And it's not rude.
BlindedByHate05: And like.........sometimes some of the things that you say make me feel akward.......like talking about kids a lot and stuff....though you might be kidding or not. I don't know what it is. Plus you're always like I Love you Christopher. I mean........I feel like it might not be long enough for those type of things to even be flowing through this relationship.
BlindedByHate05: I don't know what it is.
BlindedByHate05: Robert told me the other night, he said "You may think that you're ready for a serious relationship, but I know you're not. You can tell yourself that you are all you want, but deep down you know you're not." Something to that extent.
gremlingirl65: Wow, It's wierd how I come off like that. When actually, it's like.. wow, I don't want to talk about kids. I want to work on living this life I have right now. And if you wnat to take it slower, and re-fall in Love to where we both find a Love in each other that's so pure, and so exoticly wonderful by all means lets do it. But I just don't want this to end on stakes lik ethat.
BlindedByHate05: I'm so ass backwards sometimes.
BlindedByHate05: It's worse when you want the best of both sides and can't do it that way. It's like.......I want this and that, but I will not allow my other half to do the same.
gremlingirl65: How about, we take things a lot slower. If you don't want it to rush into serious, well then that's fine with me.
gremlingirl65: Yeah, it's like your brain wants one thing, but your heart wants another.
BlindedByHate05: and I have to sort of agree with Robert. I don't think I am really ready for stable, settling down and seriousness. Ya know?
gremlingirl65: Because, if that's the way you feel. Then we could even be more so having more best friend-ish fun, then settle down, serious shit that can fuck up hearts to the extremeties.
BlindedByHate05: what do you mean
gremlingirl65: I mean, of course I could see where you're coming from. Full heart-idly. I was scared that's how you were feeling the whole time. Because not to sound akwardishly wierd but my brother had the same feeling. I'm thinking then, we should still be together, but with more loose ends. And loose ends can be decided together? To where we both benifit.
BlindedByHate05: what kind of lose ends?
Auto response from gremlingirl65: c.b.*
gremlingirl65: More open, not serious. More fun then settling down.
gremlingirl65: We have our whole life to settle down if we're right for each other.
BlindedByHate05: like, we date. We hang out........we do stuff together, not really anything sexual unless both agreed, we kiss or whatever, but we're not girlfriend and boyfriend?
gremlingirl65: I mean, we could come up with the "loose ends"
gremlingirl65: If that's what you're leaning torwards, then that's what we're going to do. But.. I mean, I don't want it to be like.. free reigns to like.. go hog wild.. ifff you catch my heart on that one.
BlindedByHate05: just be blunt and not beat around the bush. lol my mind can come up with endless scenarios. Just lay it out.
gremlingirl65: Okay, well then i'll be blunt. But don't take offense, because I can't necsarily seeing you doing it.
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: I dont' want it because we take off the title, to mean that it's free reigns to go and have another serious relationship, and to have sex with others.. or.. I don't necsarily know, becasue I have to let all that take in.
gremlingirl65: Keep typing, but quick potty break.
BlindedByHate05: well, I'm not in the mood to have a serious relationship with anyone. ya know? Just tell me exactly what you want to have. Be detailed. That way we can be at an understanding and work soemthing out
Auto response from gremlingirl65: i guess i pee when i'm nervous. brb.
gremlingirl65: Okay, I think that would work.
gremlingirl65: Input or talk about anything I say agreed or disagree
BlindedByHate05: huh
Auto response from gremlingirl65: **
gremlingirl65: I'm going to try to be detailed
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: and if you agree with something, or disagree, or have input
gremlingirl65: stop me
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: I'm thinking, so it will talke a second
gremlingirl65: Well, the kissing, the hugging, the cuddling, more deep talk, I can come to you with anything and hope for you to be open minded about it. (there's much more, i'm just starting off my mind)
gremlingirl65: I want to still have the best friend in you, the one I can lean on, and go every where with.. however.. you know that the feelings are there so I want us to be comfortable with each other, to where akwardness isn't there. Sort of .. hm. crossing the boundaries of friendship but not going into the titles because i'm hoping for the special romanticisim relationship with out the titles. I don't want it to change EVERYTHING, but to an extent to where both me and you get something out of it. Still aloud to have our fun, and there's obviously things that i've been worried about that I need to drop, and become more confident in before I go into a serious relationship. Because from what i've said there is our whole life to get seriously serious and of course you want the gnarly college memories with out being tied down. I want to still have fun, but I'd really Love if we pull this through all the everythign at the end and get into that serious relationship when we both feel like we are ready. And with all the sexual things, only if we both agree upon, I agree with what you said with that, I like that.
BlindedByHate05: Okay........so you said no titles? or yes?
gremlingirl65: Dating
BlindedByHate05: dating, but not bf gf right?
Auto response from gremlingirl65: **
gremlingirl65: Is that what you want?
BlindedByHate05: well, is that what you were saying?
gremlingirl65: Yeah.
BlindedByHate05: That's what I want yes.
gremlingirl65: "I'm dating her, i'm seeing her, someone special," anything along those lines are good?
BlindedByHate05: yeah, but not my gf, right?
gremlingirl65: Yeah, we'll save that when we want to go serious.
gremlingirl65: Agreed?
BlindedByHate05: agreed
gremlingirl65: All right then.
gremlingirl65: But still the romanticisim friendship with that possibility.
I can't believe it. Woah. This summer. This summer. This summer. This summer has changed EVERYTHING.
More to come my LJ. Coisidentally, I called Lucas LJ for about a week, then he decided he didn't like that much, so I quit. Maybe it's because it was mental waves telling me I allready have one LJ. x3
I'll leave this a changed person.
I'm going to work my ASS off to quit the stuborn,jealousy,fear,and qualities I need to make me stronger.
BlindedByHate05: I don't really want to have this conversation right now.....just because it's being done over the internet, but likewise, I don't want to have it over the phone.
Auto response from gremlingirl65: c.b.*
gremlingirl65: Okay, but I will say this. In a nut shell, Love can be Falling to the bottom, where it seems impossible to get up, and then a hand comes down, and latches on and pulls you back up.
gremlingirl65: I don't want to break up Christopher.
BlindedByHate05: Honestly........your views on what you feel that Love is is quite different than what I feel it is........sort of. I don't know.
BlindedByHate05: goddamnit
gremlingirl65: That was in a nutshell.
BlindedByHate05: I know
BlindedByHate05: but still
BlindedByHate05: I will say this.......damnit I don't want to have this talk this way.
gremlingirl65: Then we shouldn't.
BlindedByHate05: I know but everything is just right here. argf
gremlingirl65: Yeah...
gremlingirl65: Well, can we talk more so in detail about other things? With out coming to the "end" conclusion?
BlindedByHate05: I guess?
BlindedByHate05: I feel like we've moved too fast already......but personally, not wanting to be rude, but it feels like you've been one to move things along faster than I.
BlindedByHate05:
gremlingirl65: Well, we could take it slower. I was acting on sheer fear of not knowing how to handle this relationship.
gremlingirl65: And it's not rude.
BlindedByHate05: And like.........sometimes some of the things that you say make me feel akward.......like talking about kids a lot and stuff....though you might be kidding or not. I don't know what it is. Plus you're always like I Love you Christopher. I mean........I feel like it might not be long enough for those type of things to even be flowing through this relationship.
BlindedByHate05: I don't know what it is.
BlindedByHate05: Robert told me the other night, he said "You may think that you're ready for a serious relationship, but I know you're not. You can tell yourself that you are all you want, but deep down you know you're not." Something to that extent.
gremlingirl65: Wow, It's wierd how I come off like that. When actually, it's like.. wow, I don't want to talk about kids. I want to work on living this life I have right now. And if you wnat to take it slower, and re-fall in Love to where we both find a Love in each other that's so pure, and so exoticly wonderful by all means lets do it. But I just don't want this to end on stakes lik ethat.
BlindedByHate05: I'm so ass backwards sometimes.
BlindedByHate05: It's worse when you want the best of both sides and can't do it that way. It's like.......I want this and that, but I will not allow my other half to do the same.
gremlingirl65: How about, we take things a lot slower. If you don't want it to rush into serious, well then that's fine with me.
gremlingirl65: Yeah, it's like your brain wants one thing, but your heart wants another.
BlindedByHate05: and I have to sort of agree with Robert. I don't think I am really ready for stable, settling down and seriousness. Ya know?
gremlingirl65: Because, if that's the way you feel. Then we could even be more so having more best friend-ish fun, then settle down, serious shit that can fuck up hearts to the extremeties.
BlindedByHate05: what do you mean
gremlingirl65: I mean, of course I could see where you're coming from. Full heart-idly. I was scared that's how you were feeling the whole time. Because not to sound akwardishly wierd but my brother had the same feeling. I'm thinking then, we should still be together, but with more loose ends. And loose ends can be decided together? To where we both benifit.
BlindedByHate05: what kind of lose ends?
Auto response from gremlingirl65: c.b.*
gremlingirl65: More open, not serious. More fun then settling down.
gremlingirl65: We have our whole life to settle down if we're right for each other.
BlindedByHate05: like, we date. We hang out........we do stuff together, not really anything sexual unless both agreed, we kiss or whatever, but we're not girlfriend and boyfriend?
gremlingirl65: I mean, we could come up with the "loose ends"
gremlingirl65: If that's what you're leaning torwards, then that's what we're going to do. But.. I mean, I don't want it to be like.. free reigns to like.. go hog wild.. ifff you catch my heart on that one.
BlindedByHate05: just be blunt and not beat around the bush. lol my mind can come up with endless scenarios. Just lay it out.
gremlingirl65: Okay, well then i'll be blunt. But don't take offense, because I can't necsarily seeing you doing it.
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: I dont' want it because we take off the title, to mean that it's free reigns to go and have another serious relationship, and to have sex with others.. or.. I don't necsarily know, becasue I have to let all that take in.
gremlingirl65: Keep typing, but quick potty break.
BlindedByHate05: well, I'm not in the mood to have a serious relationship with anyone. ya know? Just tell me exactly what you want to have. Be detailed. That way we can be at an understanding and work soemthing out
Auto response from gremlingirl65: i guess i pee when i'm nervous. brb.
gremlingirl65: Okay, I think that would work.
gremlingirl65: Input or talk about anything I say agreed or disagree
BlindedByHate05: huh
Auto response from gremlingirl65: **
gremlingirl65: I'm going to try to be detailed
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: and if you agree with something, or disagree, or have input
gremlingirl65: stop me
BlindedByHate05: ok
gremlingirl65: I'm thinking, so it will talke a second
gremlingirl65: Well, the kissing, the hugging, the cuddling, more deep talk, I can come to you with anything and hope for you to be open minded about it. (there's much more, i'm just starting off my mind)
gremlingirl65: I want to still have the best friend in you, the one I can lean on, and go every where with.. however.. you know that the feelings are there so I want us to be comfortable with each other, to where akwardness isn't there. Sort of .. hm. crossing the boundaries of friendship but not going into the titles because i'm hoping for the special romanticisim relationship with out the titles. I don't want it to change EVERYTHING, but to an extent to where both me and you get something out of it. Still aloud to have our fun, and there's obviously things that i've been worried about that I need to drop, and become more confident in before I go into a serious relationship. Because from what i've said there is our whole life to get seriously serious and of course you want the gnarly college memories with out being tied down. I want to still have fun, but I'd really Love if we pull this through all the everythign at the end and get into that serious relationship when we both feel like we are ready. And with all the sexual things, only if we both agree upon, I agree with what you said with that, I like that.
BlindedByHate05: Okay........so you said no titles? or yes?
gremlingirl65: Dating
BlindedByHate05: dating, but not bf gf right?
Auto response from gremlingirl65: **
gremlingirl65: Is that what you want?
BlindedByHate05: well, is that what you were saying?
gremlingirl65: Yeah.
BlindedByHate05: That's what I want yes.
gremlingirl65: "I'm dating her, i'm seeing her, someone special," anything along those lines are good?
BlindedByHate05: yeah, but not my gf, right?
gremlingirl65: Yeah, we'll save that when we want to go serious.
gremlingirl65: Agreed?
BlindedByHate05: agreed
gremlingirl65: All right then.
gremlingirl65: But still the romanticisim friendship with that possibility.
I can't believe it. Woah. This summer. This summer. This summer. This summer has changed EVERYTHING.
More to come my LJ. Coisidentally, I called Lucas LJ for about a week, then he decided he didn't like that much, so I quit. Maybe it's because it was mental waves telling me I allready have one LJ. x3
I'll leave this a changed person.
I'm going to work my ASS off to quit the stuborn,jealousy,fear,and qualities I need to make me stronger.