(no subject)
I have currently, a very small amount of money. This is money I use to see me through the week, pay for gas, food, smokes, unexpected expenses (which seem to be prevalent in my life). This amount of money was reduced drastically this week, due to several overdraft charges from last week. Story of my life. Constantly falling behind, planning on how to get ahead, worried about today, worried about tomorrow, worried about next month.
This month there are a couple of birthdays I need to shop for, a graduation gift to buy, and a party to throw. Because I lost all the money this week, I need to pay all my bills and rent from paychecks coming in next week.
If I pull everything tightly enough, I have discovered, I can go to the George Clinton concert on Sat. But we are talking tight tight, clean the penny can out tight. Is it worth all the worry? Is it worth eating Ramen? Is it worth crossing my fingers that all will be well, even though I may only have a job for 2 more weeks?
This is what I have been meditating on this morning, as I check how much my bills will be online, and rechecking my bank account for how much I have in the way of funds. I keep checking, like there will be a smidgeon more if I check again.
Debt is a motherfucker when it rules your life like this. I think I have decided to go ahead and purchase the ticket, because it will probably be the last show my roommate and I get to go to together, she is graduating grad school, I am headed for big time transition, and I need something to give my spirit joy again. Even for one night, gittin it down w/ da P-Funk.
That's what the stupid money is for, right? A little bit for me, in addition to the boat ton of money I send out to others. I feel dumb and constrained. I guess buying the ticket is my way of giving the finger to the man.
But I could still use a little more security.
This month there are a couple of birthdays I need to shop for, a graduation gift to buy, and a party to throw. Because I lost all the money this week, I need to pay all my bills and rent from paychecks coming in next week.
If I pull everything tightly enough, I have discovered, I can go to the George Clinton concert on Sat. But we are talking tight tight, clean the penny can out tight. Is it worth all the worry? Is it worth eating Ramen? Is it worth crossing my fingers that all will be well, even though I may only have a job for 2 more weeks?
This is what I have been meditating on this morning, as I check how much my bills will be online, and rechecking my bank account for how much I have in the way of funds. I keep checking, like there will be a smidgeon more if I check again.
Debt is a motherfucker when it rules your life like this. I think I have decided to go ahead and purchase the ticket, because it will probably be the last show my roommate and I get to go to together, she is graduating grad school, I am headed for big time transition, and I need something to give my spirit joy again. Even for one night, gittin it down w/ da P-Funk.
That's what the stupid money is for, right? A little bit for me, in addition to the boat ton of money I send out to others. I feel dumb and constrained. I guess buying the ticket is my way of giving the finger to the man.
But I could still use a little more security.