broken heart
The past 5 or 6 days have been total hell for me. I'm beginning to lose the most important thing/person i have in my life, Cody. He decided that we should be on a break so thats where we are rite now and I'm not very happy about it. All I want to do is just cry and never stop, until this break is over. But I don't know when that is going to be and neither does he. We know it's going to be before the summer starts, and before graduation, but not when between now and then. Right now the hardest part of it all is trying my very best not to do anything stupid, which is pretty hard right now. Since like nothing is going for me, in any aspect of my life; not my love life *obviously*, not work (big deal I got a new job it sucks but what can you do), not friends, not school, nothing.
I seriously don't get how after almost 7 months of being with someone, you can just come out and say I don't know if I want to be with you right now. Yea I love you and I care about you, but I don't know right now. And the fact that he sees me in his future, but he's not sure about right now. How could you do that to someone?? Especially someone who you claim to love.....
Everyone says you deserve better, he's an asshole. The truth is he really isn't, he's the sweetest guy in the world when he's with me, and not being influenced by his friends. He would do anything just to see me happy, he really would. Also yea I know I deserve better, but I don't want better. I was so happy with what I had, but now I'm miserable because I lost it......