carreer crisis
I do what I do because it was something that caught my interest in college, something I previously knew nothing about...So I DOVE in, into the "strange and exciting field" of theatrical costuming. And NOW, it's really the only thing I know how to do.
But I am starting to get majorly burned out by the whole industry, due to working for a very poorly and minimaly organized company. So one might think that that could be remedied, leading me into looking for work for a company that takes better care of their people. You know, move up in the world...But really my major burnout is not just specific to the bad experience I had this summer. Rather, it is a more generalized disillusionment to the nature of the work, in that it largely consists of pandering to over-sized artistic egos, high levels of stress and drama, which can easily lead down the path to alcoholism, no real social life, or opportunity to pursue romance or any other relationships or activities that require some more investment of time...Generally a poor quality of LIFE.
So I've been compensating, by travelling when between contracts, burning up all my piddly savings. This has been a great expansion to my thinking and vision of the world, basically a philisophical ideal realized...And I've been more engaged and happy in these adventures then with the stressfull and exciting fast-paced working lifestyle at "home.
(But, duh, how hard is it to feel good about vacation? I know some people do struggle with it, and I can empathize and understand, but personally I'm generally okay with being outside of home and familiar surroundings. Its fun (excamation point)*.)
And really, truly, I like Latin America very very much. I like speaking in Spanish, I like the warmth and hospitality, I like the pace of life and the food. I like that there are far fewer strip-malls and that people talk to each other on the street, ... So can I just go dive into some other unknown, live in a foreign country and fuck off my "carreer" for a little while? Or a big while? Or do I have social responsibility as a US citizen, to stand up against this war, add my voice to bolster the rather weak and fragmented movement for progressive change and stay close to my own family?
So I find myself stuck. On one hand, I have my profession, in which I feel I can do a good job, but with a growing dispondency toward that skill that makes me want a different direction in my life. But one the other hand I have alot of fears and reservations in thinking about what I can actually do to fulfill my obligations to myself and my own happiness, as well as my obligations to society...
It seems so stupid, this whole living in fear of the unknown when we get so sick of the life we know so well1.
I guess I'm answering my own questions here, if I can only muster up the balls and determination to make it happen...
* My one key is acting funny and will not be controlled
But I am starting to get majorly burned out by the whole industry, due to working for a very poorly and minimaly organized company. So one might think that that could be remedied, leading me into looking for work for a company that takes better care of their people. You know, move up in the world...But really my major burnout is not just specific to the bad experience I had this summer. Rather, it is a more generalized disillusionment to the nature of the work, in that it largely consists of pandering to over-sized artistic egos, high levels of stress and drama, which can easily lead down the path to alcoholism, no real social life, or opportunity to pursue romance or any other relationships or activities that require some more investment of time...Generally a poor quality of LIFE.
So I've been compensating, by travelling when between contracts, burning up all my piddly savings. This has been a great expansion to my thinking and vision of the world, basically a philisophical ideal realized...And I've been more engaged and happy in these adventures then with the stressfull and exciting fast-paced working lifestyle at "home.
(But, duh, how hard is it to feel good about vacation? I know some people do struggle with it, and I can empathize and understand, but personally I'm generally okay with being outside of home and familiar surroundings. Its fun (excamation point)*.)
And really, truly, I like Latin America very very much. I like speaking in Spanish, I like the warmth and hospitality, I like the pace of life and the food. I like that there are far fewer strip-malls and that people talk to each other on the street, ... So can I just go dive into some other unknown, live in a foreign country and fuck off my "carreer" for a little while? Or a big while? Or do I have social responsibility as a US citizen, to stand up against this war, add my voice to bolster the rather weak and fragmented movement for progressive change and stay close to my own family?
So I find myself stuck. On one hand, I have my profession, in which I feel I can do a good job, but with a growing dispondency toward that skill that makes me want a different direction in my life. But one the other hand I have alot of fears and reservations in thinking about what I can actually do to fulfill my obligations to myself and my own happiness, as well as my obligations to society...
It seems so stupid, this whole living in fear of the unknown when we get so sick of the life we know so well1.
I guess I'm answering my own questions here, if I can only muster up the balls and determination to make it happen...
* My one key is acting funny and will not be controlled