The List RECOVERED!!!
The 200 thoughts of Greigh... Note: This list has been generated from what I've seen/heard/witnessed/thought of. In case of death, induce burial. 1. Aspect - Does not involve a wood pecker and part of the human anatomy. 2. The appearance of a toaster in a truck does not mean you can stick hotpockets in the glove compartment. 3. The "act of resisting the use of the keyboard" is futile. 4. THPT!! - the sound one makes whilst they stick out their tounge. 5. Cast iron christmas trees do not exist. 6. The "Great Pumpkin" still does not exist, unless you won 1st place for the largest/heaviest pumpkin at a county fair. 7. I don't want fries with that. 8. There will be at least 1 time in your life someone will ask you "Would you like that 'for here' or 'to go' ?" at a drive through. 9. You don't see a cow once every day, just on odd days. 10. Change the channel, I don't care what they do in a shopping cart with a mule, lawn gnome, and a midget. (in reference to MTv, VH-1 and BET) 11. Yes I want the usual. 12. Never say "I'd like a hot number 2 to go" in Mc Donalds. 13. Never squish a burger at said restraunt. 14. That's not mayo. 15. As roughly said on "skippyslist.com" .. Never drink red food dye before a drug test. And scream during such test. 16. Get your hand out of my pocket, you don't know where its been. 17. Ricers should be crushed, not heard. (stupid puckheads think they can do the same after watching Fast and the Furious) 18. It should be perfectly legal to slam on the brakes if a suicide biker (ricer bike riders) is too close to your bumper popping wheelies whilst doing 90. 19. Naawwwwwttttteeeeee.... (as said exactly the way Freaky Fred says it on Courage the Cowardly Dog) 20. You swine!!! Put your leg cream back under the sink before it rusts!!! (in refto my sister, the first statement was never uttered out loud) 21. Who actually let the dogs out? 22. Ugh, stupid puckhead playing his speaker on wheels on loud as... Aw fudge! My tires blew out! 23. Egyptian Jackals are fragile, until they bite you. 24. A BBQ shack burnt down in town ... no wonder why it smelled good this morning. 25. KING RAMSES!!!!!!! The man in gause hes no santa clause... 26. OMG I got all 7 volumes of Stephen King's Dark Tower series? woot! 27. AAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!! WHATS YER OFFER?!?!?!?! 28. Dang cat keeps sneezing on my leg. 29. Okay, I'm having severe dejavu moments. I wish I didn't have these dang preminitions. 30. PEZ dispensers do not sneeze. 31. Post-lottery Winning shopping list: Truck, Trailer Grill, and some stock in Bio-Diesel fuel. 32. Earperk - You have my full attention. 33. Earpin - Ugh... 34. Okay why are you going to a hardware store? (thought on Tounge Piercings) 35. No you can't have my 2 dollars. 36. Nachos chilli cheese is always good. 37. An actual text sent from a govt phone in response to a "Hows things at work?" ... [blank] just [blank] fine [blank] . 38. No I won't buy an iPod or any Apple branded product. 39. I haven't been to walmart for a year, so can we get rid of it? 40. Oh good grief, she's at it again on her back deck. 41. New movie, "Wolf on a Plane" 42. Resident Wolf @.@ 43. The following only exists in Greigh's world: Killsaw, Painsaw, Cat Silenced Shotgun, Hellrazor, and The Box that Goes "PING!" 44. The following are titles that Greigh owns: Pickle Eater, BBQ Cooker, Marinator, Steak Marinator, The Guy Who Does That JD Chicken Dinner, HEY YOU!, Official Pigeon Relocator, Dispatcher of Spawning Potatos, and Dispatcher of Muffins that Tilt. 45. Shirk - Is what people call William Shatner when hes drunk. 46. THINK! And suprise all of us. 47. Salt and Pepper grinders rule! 48. I'm nucking futz!!! 49. Stop chip chucking the poker chips. 50. The pink panther of wolfhome keeps staring at me. 51. Must not sing "Henry the 8th I Am" to the 64th verse. 52. I don't look like Hitler. 53. There are no barking tomatos. 54. Space reserved for a studio. 55. Full moons come out at night, so do the freaks. (a Mall-ism) 56. Ambulance found at a McDonalds is a really bad sign. 57. What do you mean ten dollars?! 58. Ouch! 59. IM A LESBIAN!! I LOVE WOMEN! 60. "Dirt For Sale" does not mean one is selling used cat litter. 61. Never ask for the background of an Egyptian Jackal, one may stab you with an ankh. 62. Martha Stewart should be banned from TV, radio AND satellite radio. 63. Why do you have to buy a highticket item (aka A Bentley Wannabe) and live in a trailer living on foodstamps? 64. Why do women act like they want to influence a religion that was formed in an old gas-station turned ministry? 65. Suckit! 66. Never cross paths with me if I hate you and your ugly car/truck thing. 67. NOOBS BLOW! 68. Leather beanbags are the shrines of ME! 69. LUCKY NUMBER!!! 70. No, there are no superpowers to enable you to know when someone is about to burp. 71. This goes along with having superpowers to enable a person to eat anything and know the exact expiration date without getting killed. 72. A five ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut! 73. An irish sounding police officer is not after "me frosty lucky charms". 74. There is no such thing as a "square" key. 75. Armpit farty noises are typed as "PLLT PLLT!" 76. Exit for Emergency only. Alarm will be ignited. 77. Warning: Do not use elevator while on fire. 78. Those who suffer from high blood pressure, mental disease, horrifying of highness and liquor heads are refused. 79. Archery Range Warning: 1. Follow the clerks' instructions. 2. Don't shoot without arrows. 3. Don't run away here. 80. Waiting will be prosecuted. 81. Do not swallow batteries. 82. Never go to "Cut Throat Barbers" 83. Please refrain from barking. 84. Danger: In case of trap, use elevator. 85. The mind is it's own universe, the ultimate haunted house. 86. MySpace is nothing but a photo lineup for police departments. 87. If a PEZ dispenser has a sore throat, does it need a coughdrop? 88. 2+2=7 89. There are no flowerpots made of pickles. 90. If you use a restroom in a secure building, would it be the same way as saying "we got classified sh-t"? 91. The element of suprise does not relate to the periodic table. 92. Never ever tell Frankenstein that he's bi-polar. 93. Nightspiritwolf enjoys slapjacks. 94. Wireless mice should have self recharging gyros, this allows the battery to be charged with every movement of the mouse. 95. Don't injest the entire bottle of Green Tea Complex you'd find at GNC, you're in for one heck of a visit to the bathroom for long long time. 96. Engrish.com 97. Bloxorz rule, don't fall off the edge. 98. When in doubt, hit the R.E.P.O. button 99. Beware of split second cranberry sauce. 100. Im not going to eat the giblets thats just WRONG! ...and grose come to think of it. 101. Never write the following on your car insurance claim: Flux Capacitor shorts, frequent flamouts on turbine 2, catapult fails to throw. 102. Eating an entire bowl of spaghetti does not allow one to cover it with cough syrup. 103. Eating said bowl won't lower your blood pressure. 104. The EJ test: Place an Egyptian Jackal on your shoulder, if she bites your ear or part of your scalp off, then your just plain stupid. 105. Egyptian Jackals hate stupidity, it smells. 106. Beware the idiocies of Abdulla Ablagotdammit. 107. Shut up and listen, you may learn something. Scary huh? 108. You can't get raped by poking another. 109. People are born with common sense, so you can't teach it to anyone. 110. Warning: Do not pet the Egyptian jackal lest you want a stub for an arm. 111. Ignorance of life is no excuse. 112. Dejavu - the feeling of something that has happend before. 113. Hopsitla - is a real bad way of texting back to someone who has left a hospital. 114. There is no such thing as an Alpha Geek, unless your going bald from pulling your hair out over stupid stuff. 115. I remember back when Mr Potato Head smoked a pipe, was given a wood burning kit, and played on M-E-T-A-L playground equipment (feel the burrrrn!). 116. Dejavu - the feeling of something that has happend before. 117. Schpadoinkle is a real word, was proven by the makers of South Park. 118. Forums has a percentage of users who enjoy flaming people. I for one, would like to grill instead. 119. Ex post facto doesn't mean that facts can be disproven after the fact. 120. If your entire family arrives in 2 minute intervals, then some weird shit is going to happen. 121. The path less traveled is pretty obvious, there is no bridge beyond it. 122. If the grass is green on the other side of the fence, then you are probably talking about the sewage leeching fields. 123. Master Bait and Tackle! We got Crabs! 124. Dameware, can be taken in 2 ways, leather on women or remote desktop software. 125. Self Sliding Slitting Shelf Shingle Slicer Slipper. (a fabricated device found at the metal shop where I work at) 126. There should be "Screaming" and "Non-Screaming" sections in restraunts as they have removed "Smoking" and "Non-Smoking" sections. 127. Chipmunks roasting on an open fire, jackfrost getting a bottle of bbq sauce.... 128. Its beginning to look like AAAAAHHH FIRE!!!!!! 129. Don't put axle grease in your fireplace. 130. Christmas trees are actually designed to tick off house cats, you can't swat at the dangling things (those too so pull up your pants/put on a shirt). 131. "!!OH !!OH !!OH" was the final words the guy said when he was stuck upside down in a chimney. 132. Don't argue with an idiot, others around you wouldn't be able to recognise who is the actual one. 133. I own a square waffle iron and it doesn't reside in any vehicle. 134. First item of any new place to live in would be, a 50 cup coffee urn. 135. If at first you don't succeed, read the damn manual. 136. The beatings will continue until morale improves or blood spills, whichever comes later. 137. You will be grilled on the 5 o'clock news for writing a list of odd stuff. 138. Fritters should be currency to buy coffee and vice versa. 139. New currency, for the full dollar the "Wolfa" and the change "paws". 140. The concept of design is made by the people, of the people and for the people. This goes with any four pawed fuzzy animal. 141. In the new currency, you can't get nickled and dimed to death, just mauled. 142. The only way to stop an Egyptian Jackal is to .... oh hell don't ask me, I'm not that crazy. 143. Dameware rules. 144. The time of this statement is 1010 010000 010111. 145. Due to budget constraints, we have ceased the usage of the chat feature and added more ads, sorry for the convenience. (What should be WH's opening page nowadays) 146. Lightbulbs make funny sounds when popped, hence why I laugh like crazy. 147. Harf! HarfHarfHarfHarf!!! Harouu... Harfharfharf!!! (The sound the new neighbors make at night. -peeks out the window- oops the dog that is.) 148. My sister is a drug dealer (pharm tech) at the corner street (rite-aid) working with Paul (Madulla Ablagoddammit). 149. DER AR L0TS OF LOVELI LAKES EEN H0RST VEILAGE. (pardon on the bad mock) 150. Fact: no-one has ever thrown shit at a fan. 151. Shadz on 9DEC07 at 8:58pm eastern made me go WTF for the first time when she stated that she is buying baby clothes. This was then cleared up as that she was buying stuff for her friend's kid. 152. The untamed is always tamed with the right measures. 153. Grotto - is not made of expired augroten potatos. 154. There are three mysteries of the universe: 1) Purring Wolves, 2) The Bermuda Triangle, and 3) Damn Green Jello. 155. Never say "fix" around any four legged individual, its highly offensive. 156. Slaptula - A kitchen tool to slap someone with whilst flipping slapjacks. 157. Pickle - green colored spackle. 158. jobangles - a dislexic Bojangles fast food restraunt. 159. There is actually a Weiner Works. 160. Confused, dazed, turkey, waffle bacon! 161. "You Can't Fix Stupid" -Ron White 162. People call me Greigh, my friends call me Greigh, but you can't call me late for dinner. 163. Liars become blind when faced against their lies. 164. In Times Of Universal Deceit, Telling The Truth Is A Revolutionary Act. -G. Orwell 165. Druggies to me are nothing but walking tombstones. (yes this includes E dozers) 166. "The liar is not a musical instrument, so quit playing one" -CMC Watson 167. The concept of fear is normal, however normality has its own fear. 168. Stop touching Pete's piece, you don't know where its been. (in regards to an old tv show Briscoe County Jr) 169. The best coffee grounds are such that comes in the textural form of flour. Makes better/robust coffee. 170. Never touch Greigh's ground grinder. 171. Even in winter, you can get dehyrdated. 172. The only things that keep you truely warm, 1) a good fire, 2) a good book, and 3) chipmonk on a rotissorie singing "we represent the munchkin land" song. 173. If a wolf is running at you at full tilt speed, never hold up a detour sign. 174. May a visit with certain people to Weiner Works (actual fast food restraunt in town) scar you for life. 175. Be sure you go to a restraunt with full picture windows while you are sick from the roadtrip. I'll let you think of the rest from there. -grin- 176. There will be at one time in your life that you will know of atleast 1 cat will get lost on a staircase. 177. Never allow your dog to slurp on a screaming cat. 178. Yes, it is a rarity that with certain people, you know that they are smart and funny at the same time. 179. Never leave a bag of microwavable popcorn in your car, especially if the interior is all black. 180. A torrent download does not involve falling off your computer in white water rapids. 181. Taking this stuff may induce a good feeling, then you'll crap your pants. 182. Never trust anyone who says they know about computers touch yours. Its a guarentee that it will break in 10 minutes. 183. Beware of striped wolves on a chat, they're sneaky in tall African brush in the middle of a forest. 184. Well known people are poetry in motion, the noobs are jibberish in neutral. 185. The conception of advanced design does not mean you can think with a pen. 186. Roughly 75% of women pulled strings for others. This does not involve favors. 187. There is one person in a chat that has a gadget. Sexual objects don't count as it is well known by E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. 188. Marking on pillows does not involve a sharpie. (as proven by PLady) 189. Give a friend atleast one off the wall gag gift. (ie Numbered Grenade Marked "Complaint Dept") 190. Bottomless beer does not involve not wearing pants. 191. Bottomless coffee means that the coffee pot burned through. 192. Topless coffee means the damn pot overran itself. 193. Topless beer should mean "beer served by a woman with a nice rack ... with beer pitchers" 194. Avoid bars that has rainbowized their sign out front. (too many of them in town here) 195. 95% of Craigslist "Rants and Raves" are made by numbskulls not having anything better to do with themselves or doesn't know how to do it. 196. Antiseize is like ductape, it works with anything. 197. If you are a woman with a black eye from something other than a fight, there will be 3 or more people going "WTF DID YOUR BF DO TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" 198. Spectacular events are like a good sneeze, you wait for it then it happens and its over at the same time. 199. FACT: A key to an old jail cell is 8mm thick. 200. Your eyes are straining at this point, use eye drops slowly without lifting dust.