Even Soap Operas Have Lost Their Appeal
Drama.
There was a time in my life that I was surrounded by it and all I could really do was try to rise above it. There were others, however, who watched the drama from the sidelines, sometimes fanned the flames, acted on or made false assumptions adding their personal demons to the mix and then relayed information on. Then another layer of people judged the situation, which was already masked and skewed with filters and perceptions of the people conveying the information, with their own personal perceptions. Just like that old game of phone.
In reality, only three of us knew the truth. It has taken me years to repair the damage that was done to my reputation and there is at least one person who still refuses to make eye contact with me because of it. The situation between the three of us was difficult enough. I was dealing with a person who, at the time, was hurt, acting irrationally, refused not only to accept any personal responsibility but also refused to place responsibility where it belonged and instead blamed me for everything, and, more than likely, needed serious therapy. This person also attempted to out me - on two separate occasions. As bad as all of that was, the additional drama created by bystanders made it so much worse.
Because of that background, I choose to stay out of situations that do not directly involve me and carefully weigh any situation that may require I stick my neck out for someone. So, when drama is afoot, I implore you to remember the following:
1. Failing to choose sides does not mean I'm on the side opposite you.
2. Failing to speak out publicly does not mean I lack an opinion on the subject.
3. Failing to speak out publicly does not mean I haven't discussed the situation with one or more of the parties involved and offered them my thoughts, support or a swift kick in the ass.
4. Failing to speak out publicly while the drama swirls does not mean I will fail to speak up or take action, if necessary, at some point in the future.
Having said all that, I believe that what comes around goes around. In my situation, I think one of the talky bystanders came out looking worse than anyone else. It took a while, but people eventually caught on. Yes, there are new people who come along that don't know the history, but patterns repeat and true character is flushed out.
On another note:
We all need energy to live. Energy comes from a lot of places - love, food, money, appreciation, touching, sleep, meditation, learning, exercise, and on and on. Energy makes us feel good and helps us find our way in the world. However, a lot of people believe that energy only comes from other people and because human energy is a limited resource, people fight over it. There are two strategies; 1) be the best and brightest so you outshine everyone else seeking the energy; or 2) pull energy with negative behavior. Negative behavior = negative energy, but negative energy > none. How do adults gain negative energy? I'm sure there are hundreds of ways, but the ones that come to mind are; playing the victim, aggressiveness, the silent treatment and control. The problem is that the negative behavior will continue until one of three things occur; 1. the person begins receiving positive energy from another person; 2. the person realizes the best energy comes from within; 3. the person's negative behavior is no longer rewarded with energy.
I'm just sayin'...
There was a time in my life that I was surrounded by it and all I could really do was try to rise above it. There were others, however, who watched the drama from the sidelines, sometimes fanned the flames, acted on or made false assumptions adding their personal demons to the mix and then relayed information on. Then another layer of people judged the situation, which was already masked and skewed with filters and perceptions of the people conveying the information, with their own personal perceptions. Just like that old game of phone.
In reality, only three of us knew the truth. It has taken me years to repair the damage that was done to my reputation and there is at least one person who still refuses to make eye contact with me because of it. The situation between the three of us was difficult enough. I was dealing with a person who, at the time, was hurt, acting irrationally, refused not only to accept any personal responsibility but also refused to place responsibility where it belonged and instead blamed me for everything, and, more than likely, needed serious therapy. This person also attempted to out me - on two separate occasions. As bad as all of that was, the additional drama created by bystanders made it so much worse.
Because of that background, I choose to stay out of situations that do not directly involve me and carefully weigh any situation that may require I stick my neck out for someone. So, when drama is afoot, I implore you to remember the following:
1. Failing to choose sides does not mean I'm on the side opposite you.
2. Failing to speak out publicly does not mean I lack an opinion on the subject.
3. Failing to speak out publicly does not mean I haven't discussed the situation with one or more of the parties involved and offered them my thoughts, support or a swift kick in the ass.
4. Failing to speak out publicly while the drama swirls does not mean I will fail to speak up or take action, if necessary, at some point in the future.
Having said all that, I believe that what comes around goes around. In my situation, I think one of the talky bystanders came out looking worse than anyone else. It took a while, but people eventually caught on. Yes, there are new people who come along that don't know the history, but patterns repeat and true character is flushed out.
On another note:
We all need energy to live. Energy comes from a lot of places - love, food, money, appreciation, touching, sleep, meditation, learning, exercise, and on and on. Energy makes us feel good and helps us find our way in the world. However, a lot of people believe that energy only comes from other people and because human energy is a limited resource, people fight over it. There are two strategies; 1) be the best and brightest so you outshine everyone else seeking the energy; or 2) pull energy with negative behavior. Negative behavior = negative energy, but negative energy > none. How do adults gain negative energy? I'm sure there are hundreds of ways, but the ones that come to mind are; playing the victim, aggressiveness, the silent treatment and control. The problem is that the negative behavior will continue until one of three things occur; 1. the person begins receiving positive energy from another person; 2. the person realizes the best energy comes from within; 3. the person's negative behavior is no longer rewarded with energy.
I'm just sayin'...