MAHOOSIVE PICSPAM O' LOSTIE GOODNESS!!
Please note - you do not need to have seen Lost to enjoy this spam. But if you do ever intend to start at the beginning of the show, you may want to avoid it!
*adopts suitably deep and dramatic voice a la Lost continuity guy*
Previously, on Lost this journal:
haldoor wrote some Des/Jack fic, reminding us of all that was wonderful about that pairing.
gregoria44 was prompted to relink to some more Des/Jack slashness.
ladywillin expressed interest in a picspam to illustrate the finer points of Des and Jack's relationship...
WHOOOOOOSH! BOIIIING! (that one for ladysanjou) CLUNK!
*several advert breaks and a hiatus later*
anythinginservicetothehotmenofLost...'>
Here he comes, a-walking down the street...
...Well, technically running down a stadium. Here is one of the first shots we have of the delectable Desmond Hulme.
//SEMINAL MOMENT!!//
Doctor Jack Shephard is being a competitive idiot for a change (not) and has slipped and sprained his ankle.
Some 'medical' attention - yeah, right...
Luckily, there is a handsome prime-dwelling man on hand to give it a 'massage'. You may be interested to know that Des was only supposed to be a bit part-character, but we loved him too much for them to get away with THAT. (Henry Ian Cusick, Des' actor, also has the most delectable, genuine Scottish accent and half Peruvian ancestry. I could happily drown in his eyes.)
Now you come to mention it...
...He IS rather handsome. (And has very smooth hands.)
So...
How about it, Doctor Jack? Fancy a fu... I mean, beer?
But...
I'd love a fu... I mean, beer, but can we just make it very clear that I am very STRAIGHT, and currently angsting over a poorly woman (whom I am going to marry and then get sorely thrown over by - hmmm, on second thoughts, perhaps I SHOULD limp away with you.)
You're what?!
You can't tell from these photos, but throughout this exchange between Des and Jack, Des was eyeballing Jack in a most lascivious manner. It was SLASH PROMPTS a-go-go, though sadly, very few people seemed to notice this (or, indeed, act upon it.)
*Thinks*
Ah, sod it. Let's go.
Rock on, brother!
NOW: Sadly, this is where canon departed from what was happening in MY head (damnit). Des ran off down the stadium, and Jack ended up stuck on a VERY STRANGE ISLAND indeed. Stuff happened, an underground bunker was discovered on the island, and someone VERY FAMILIAR was lurking inside it...
Oh noes - I spy invaders with my 70s throwback technology!
But poor Dezzy has gone a little bonkers! It's very straightforward, really: He was in love with a bizarrely accented woman, whose father was a manic despot who just didn't like Des. Of course, the only way for Des to prove himself was to enter a sailing race with a boat gleaned from a crazy-eyed woman with a recently deceased sailor for a husband who he randomly met in a coffee shop. Keeping up? Then the boat crashed on the VERY STRANGE ISLAND, Des was kidnapped by a beardy non-dude who made him wear boiler suits and live underground in a bunker for two years, pressing a button every 108 minutes. After a very boring and upsetting period, Des murdered the beardy non-dude, and was therefore alone for a loooooong time. He kept himself busy listening to the Mamas and the Papas, injecting himself with unknown chemicals, eating power-shakes for breakfast, and cycling attractively on exercise machines. You know; normal, run of the mill stuff. But THEN John Locke (one of Jack's fellow air-crash survivors) dug up an entrance to the bunker, blew it open, abseiled in, and was promptly held hostage by Des. Now, where were we?
Heeeeeeeeeeere's Dezzy!
All button-pressing and no sexytimez make Dezzy a very INSANE boy... (Jack's arrived, but Des is a bit busy holding a gun to John Locke's baldy, shiny, roundy head.
But this is INSANE! It can't be! You can't be you!
Now here, Jack is having his very own weird moment. Why would this man be in this hatch on this island? Sadly, there is no way of conveying just how AMAZING the acting was from everyone in this scene. It's still one of my favourite Lost moments ever.
Do I know you, brother?
This cap, also known as 'Did I once do sexy things with you?', or 'Meanwhile, on the floor, under Jack...'
Nope, we've never fu.. er, met.
Otherwise known as 'Shut up, there are people watching, including a woman I'd quite like to see nekkid.'
Are you two f'reals? Just who are you trying to kid?
I am JOHN LOCKE, and I KNOW EVERYTHING. Look on my works, ye mighty, and say, 'Oh, John, do stop looking at me in that strange manner.'
Stop wriggling Desmond...
...I mean, stop wriggling, Man I've Never Seen Before In My Life - It's Trufax Dontcha Know.
Later...
I know I don't look good, Jack, but 1970s shampoo was really whack. And do boiler suits really 'do it' for anyone? You should see me naked, I'm well buff, even if I do smell of Old Slice. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be 'Spice', it's Dharma Initiative own brand. *Rattles on some more before exploding a computer by accident*
I still would...
...So would Jack, I swear it.
Then, seeing as how John REALLY wants to live in the bunker and press the button...
...Des runs off into the jungle. Jack tries to 'convince' him to stay by pointing his weapon at him. *rolls eyes*
Look at these arms. Why wouldn't you want to be held by them?
This scene was SEX ON LEGS. Four legs. Four nicely toned, large, MAN LEGS. *goes for quick cold shower*
I'm in a boiler suit, Jack. What's wrong with you?!
You reckon those boiler suits have zips that open at either end? *thinks pervy, if practical, thoughts*
You selfish git...
...I've been stuck in a hole for two years with nothing but Dickens for company, and you want me to STAY? I don't mean to be cruel, but you weren't THAT good.
*Bottom lip wobbles*
Seriously, this character does a lot of crying. And he looks hot while he's at it. I'd give him a cuddle, that's for sure.
*might stay after all - is impressed by lip-wobbling*
LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE!! Actually, what was REALLY happening here was this: Des has finally recognised Jack. Jack has told him that his marriage has collapsed and Des is looking FAR more interested than a straight man with no attraction to Jack would. I honestly thought we were going to get some gay action at last. How foolish/disappointed was I?
*begins to dissolve*
I have to tell you something, Desmond. None of the main characters in this show are allowed to be gay. And there's no good telling me that statistically at least ONE of the survivors would be gay - it's just a network thing. You, for instance, still have to be in love with some woman with a bad case of Botoxification, despite being locked up with one other man for company during a difficult, and undefined long length of time.
o_0
Jesus wept.
:,(
So did Jack.
And now, the time has come...
Des walked away, and we didn't see him for a WHOLE SERIES. Do not underestimate how awful a moment this was. It simply wasn't fair: not to me, not to them, not to the entire, slash-friendly universe. *sadface*
Ah, bless his cotton socks.
*wipes away Jack's tears, while staring in strange fascination at his overlapping bottom tooth*
Back at the hatch
Um, guys? Des has left. He's not going to back until the end of next series. I just... can't... I...
Uh-oh.
Man the life-rafts. Jack's going to cry again.
What did you say?!!!
What's going to happen at the end of series four? Really? You're not messing with me, here? Of COURSE I'll sign up as a regular character!
Joy!!
Deep, deep joy. Des returned in S3 to much jubilation all round. AND he leapt out of the boiler suit, and into the BLUE SHIRT OF LURVE. As fangirls around the world celebrated, the costume department rewarded us by removing buttons, one at a time. :D
Moment of truth
Tell me, Charlie: Jack - is he still single, or did that bird from the hatch get her talons stuck in?
Just...
...Guh. Sexy men sleeping = very sexy indeed. Sexy men sleeping in a defensive manner = very, very sexy.
And look!
He's sleeping with ANOTHER character - Sayid. Together, they are Team Awesome. This was a good period in the history of Lost, but is far too complicated to explain.
TEAM AWESOME!
There were other hot men on this boat, *cough* Martin Keamy *cough*, but I'm trying to avoid tangents, which is bloody hard with Lost.
Tell me, Sayid...
...Are my arms as nice as Jack's yet?
Sayid: Hoh, yes, Dezzy Des-Des. (Don't worry about why Des is pointing a torch at himself, just... don't.)
But Jack isn't jealous of team awesome...
...He has his own distraction in the form of the very lickable James 'Sawyer' Ford. They do it with their EYES, and are my original Lost OTP. In fact, that's where my whole LJ life began, thank slash.
Gratuitous inclusion
Fucking A+ - this is my other, 'best ever Lost moment'. And yes, Jack cried here, too.
DISASTER STRIKES!!
Stuff happens. Um... there's a freighter, and some very confusing time travel stuff, and... *skips ahead about six thousand episodes*... basically Des, Jack and a few others have escaped the island in a helicopter which inconveniently lands in the sea, knocking out Des. It looks as though he's dead! This is Jack managing to do CPR whilst panicking about his other, one true boyfriend. I'd like to come round to find this man labouring above me - how about you?
*ring ring - ring ring*
Hello? Is that the writers of Lost? Yes, Gregoria44 here. I would like to see Jack and Des kiss. Make it so, or suffer my WRATH.
And lo!
\o/ YESSSSSSSSSSSS! \o/ You know - I really did squeal when this happened. Am I sad? I don't care. Their lips really did meet, and since Des wasn't really unconcious, and Jack wasn't really doing CPR, it is a kiss, whichever way you look at it - IN MY HEAD.
Is this a good time to ask for another fu... beer?
Look at Jack's hair!
*runs fingers through it*
Holy Mackerel, Jack man!
After waiting FOUR whole series, Des can barely believe his luck. Nor can Jack. Nor can I. Obviously the blue shirt of lurve loses none of its power when wet.
*sigh*
Their newly consummated relationship is short lived, however.
Creature from the deep
This woman has been looking for Des for years, she's the love of his life, she can't move her upper lip, struggles to cry... blah, blah, blah. *is bored*
Could it be?
Yes. It could. Damnit.
Yawn
*distracts self by imagining Des being this happy to kiss me*
Look at those dimples!
Nooooooooooooooooooo!
And, people? That's the genuine sight of a heart breaking.
How lovely to meet you!
Oh, shut UP, already.
Yeah, right, missus.
Jack gives Des the evils. "But you said you were miiiiiiiiiiiine." Is this the end for Jack and Des? I don't want to think about that, so instead...
...We'll have some random HOT shots, yeah!
Flashback!Des, in his military past. Cute hair, uniform, wet in the rain. Leave me three, please, milkman. And while we're talking of being wet...
...Jack does wet very nicely, too.
I kept this magazine under my bed from when I bought it, until we moved. It was so hot, I couldn't bear to look at it for longer than a minute at a time. Seriously, I am very in love with Jack, and always have been. Nipples!
Icon friendly Des!
More uniform, more fangirls. I'm just out of shot, dribbling a little.
Love this photo.
Henry Ian Cusick admires Terry O'Neil's baldy, shiny, roundy head. Two fabulous actors.
He really is very smiley...
...and clearly isn't a fan of shirt buttons. Hoorah!
:D
Deep, deep love for Jack - and Matthew Fox is a pretty boy, also. He's lucky to be behind that fence - I'm scary when I gather steam.
Best. Ever. Des. Picture.
Really, what's not to love? And when I say 'love', I probably mean 'orgasm over'. For the record, I ♥ Ian Cusick far more than I ♥ Matthew Fox. I reckon he's a genuine, delightful fellow. And he's fit as. And his shirts fall off him by magic, and, and, and... do you know, what?
*passes out from picspammy efforts, and too much UST*
*adopts suitably deep and dramatic voice a la Lost continuity guy*
Previously, on Lost this journal:
haldoor wrote some Des/Jack fic, reminding us of all that was wonderful about that pairing.
gregoria44 was prompted to relink to some more Des/Jack slashness.
ladywillin expressed interest in a picspam to illustrate the finer points of Des and Jack's relationship...
WHOOOOOOSH! BOIIIING! (that one for ladysanjou) CLUNK!
*several advert breaks and a hiatus later*
anythinginservicetothehotmenofLost...'>
Here he comes, a-walking down the street...
...Well, technically running down a stadium. Here is one of the first shots we have of the delectable Desmond Hulme.
//SEMINAL MOMENT!!//
Doctor Jack Shephard is being a competitive idiot for a change (not) and has slipped and sprained his ankle.
Some 'medical' attention - yeah, right...
Luckily, there is a handsome prime-dwelling man on hand to give it a 'massage'. You may be interested to know that Des was only supposed to be a bit part-character, but we loved him too much for them to get away with THAT. (Henry Ian Cusick, Des' actor, also has the most delectable, genuine Scottish accent and half Peruvian ancestry. I could happily drown in his eyes.)
Now you come to mention it...
...He IS rather handsome. (And has very smooth hands.)
So...
How about it, Doctor Jack? Fancy a fu... I mean, beer?
But...
I'd love a fu... I mean, beer, but can we just make it very clear that I am very STRAIGHT, and currently angsting over a poorly woman (whom I am going to marry and then get sorely thrown over by - hmmm, on second thoughts, perhaps I SHOULD limp away with you.)
You're what?!
You can't tell from these photos, but throughout this exchange between Des and Jack, Des was eyeballing Jack in a most lascivious manner. It was SLASH PROMPTS a-go-go, though sadly, very few people seemed to notice this (or, indeed, act upon it.)
*Thinks*
Ah, sod it. Let's go.
Rock on, brother!
NOW: Sadly, this is where canon departed from what was happening in MY head (damnit). Des ran off down the stadium, and Jack ended up stuck on a VERY STRANGE ISLAND indeed. Stuff happened, an underground bunker was discovered on the island, and someone VERY FAMILIAR was lurking inside it...
Oh noes - I spy invaders with my 70s throwback technology!
But poor Dezzy has gone a little bonkers! It's very straightforward, really: He was in love with a bizarrely accented woman, whose father was a manic despot who just didn't like Des. Of course, the only way for Des to prove himself was to enter a sailing race with a boat gleaned from a crazy-eyed woman with a recently deceased sailor for a husband who he randomly met in a coffee shop. Keeping up? Then the boat crashed on the VERY STRANGE ISLAND, Des was kidnapped by a beardy non-dude who made him wear boiler suits and live underground in a bunker for two years, pressing a button every 108 minutes. After a very boring and upsetting period, Des murdered the beardy non-dude, and was therefore alone for a loooooong time. He kept himself busy listening to the Mamas and the Papas, injecting himself with unknown chemicals, eating power-shakes for breakfast, and cycling attractively on exercise machines. You know; normal, run of the mill stuff. But THEN John Locke (one of Jack's fellow air-crash survivors) dug up an entrance to the bunker, blew it open, abseiled in, and was promptly held hostage by Des. Now, where were we?
Heeeeeeeeeeere's Dezzy!
All button-pressing and no sexytimez make Dezzy a very INSANE boy... (Jack's arrived, but Des is a bit busy holding a gun to John Locke's baldy, shiny, roundy head.
But this is INSANE! It can't be! You can't be you!
Now here, Jack is having his very own weird moment. Why would this man be in this hatch on this island? Sadly, there is no way of conveying just how AMAZING the acting was from everyone in this scene. It's still one of my favourite Lost moments ever.
Do I know you, brother?
This cap, also known as 'Did I once do sexy things with you?', or 'Meanwhile, on the floor, under Jack...'
Nope, we've never fu.. er, met.
Otherwise known as 'Shut up, there are people watching, including a woman I'd quite like to see nekkid.'
Are you two f'reals? Just who are you trying to kid?
I am JOHN LOCKE, and I KNOW EVERYTHING. Look on my works, ye mighty, and say, 'Oh, John, do stop looking at me in that strange manner.'
Stop wriggling Desmond...
...I mean, stop wriggling, Man I've Never Seen Before In My Life - It's Trufax Dontcha Know.
Later...
I know I don't look good, Jack, but 1970s shampoo was really whack. And do boiler suits really 'do it' for anyone? You should see me naked, I'm well buff, even if I do smell of Old Slice. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be 'Spice', it's Dharma Initiative own brand. *Rattles on some more before exploding a computer by accident*
I still would...
...So would Jack, I swear it.
Then, seeing as how John REALLY wants to live in the bunker and press the button...
...Des runs off into the jungle. Jack tries to 'convince' him to stay by pointing his weapon at him. *rolls eyes*
Look at these arms. Why wouldn't you want to be held by them?
This scene was SEX ON LEGS. Four legs. Four nicely toned, large, MAN LEGS. *goes for quick cold shower*
I'm in a boiler suit, Jack. What's wrong with you?!
You reckon those boiler suits have zips that open at either end? *thinks pervy, if practical, thoughts*
You selfish git...
...I've been stuck in a hole for two years with nothing but Dickens for company, and you want me to STAY? I don't mean to be cruel, but you weren't THAT good.
*Bottom lip wobbles*
Seriously, this character does a lot of crying. And he looks hot while he's at it. I'd give him a cuddle, that's for sure.
*might stay after all - is impressed by lip-wobbling*
LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE!! Actually, what was REALLY happening here was this: Des has finally recognised Jack. Jack has told him that his marriage has collapsed and Des is looking FAR more interested than a straight man with no attraction to Jack would. I honestly thought we were going to get some gay action at last. How foolish/disappointed was I?
*begins to dissolve*
I have to tell you something, Desmond. None of the main characters in this show are allowed to be gay. And there's no good telling me that statistically at least ONE of the survivors would be gay - it's just a network thing. You, for instance, still have to be in love with some woman with a bad case of Botoxification, despite being locked up with one other man for company during a difficult, and undefined long length of time.
o_0
Jesus wept.
:,(
So did Jack.
And now, the time has come...
Des walked away, and we didn't see him for a WHOLE SERIES. Do not underestimate how awful a moment this was. It simply wasn't fair: not to me, not to them, not to the entire, slash-friendly universe. *sadface*
Ah, bless his cotton socks.
*wipes away Jack's tears, while staring in strange fascination at his overlapping bottom tooth*
Back at the hatch
Um, guys? Des has left. He's not going to back until the end of next series. I just... can't... I...
Uh-oh.
Man the life-rafts. Jack's going to cry again.
What did you say?!!!
What's going to happen at the end of series four? Really? You're not messing with me, here? Of COURSE I'll sign up as a regular character!
Joy!!
Deep, deep joy. Des returned in S3 to much jubilation all round. AND he leapt out of the boiler suit, and into the BLUE SHIRT OF LURVE. As fangirls around the world celebrated, the costume department rewarded us by removing buttons, one at a time. :D
Moment of truth
Tell me, Charlie: Jack - is he still single, or did that bird from the hatch get her talons stuck in?
Just...
...Guh. Sexy men sleeping = very sexy indeed. Sexy men sleeping in a defensive manner = very, very sexy.
And look!
He's sleeping with ANOTHER character - Sayid. Together, they are Team Awesome. This was a good period in the history of Lost, but is far too complicated to explain.
TEAM AWESOME!
There were other hot men on this boat, *cough* Martin Keamy *cough*, but I'm trying to avoid tangents, which is bloody hard with Lost.
Tell me, Sayid...
...Are my arms as nice as Jack's yet?
Sayid: Hoh, yes, Dezzy Des-Des. (Don't worry about why Des is pointing a torch at himself, just... don't.)
But Jack isn't jealous of team awesome...
...He has his own distraction in the form of the very lickable James 'Sawyer' Ford. They do it with their EYES, and are my original Lost OTP. In fact, that's where my whole LJ life began, thank slash.
Gratuitous inclusion
Fucking A+ - this is my other, 'best ever Lost moment'. And yes, Jack cried here, too.
DISASTER STRIKES!!
Stuff happens. Um... there's a freighter, and some very confusing time travel stuff, and... *skips ahead about six thousand episodes*... basically Des, Jack and a few others have escaped the island in a helicopter which inconveniently lands in the sea, knocking out Des. It looks as though he's dead! This is Jack managing to do CPR whilst panicking about his other, one true boyfriend. I'd like to come round to find this man labouring above me - how about you?
*ring ring - ring ring*
Hello? Is that the writers of Lost? Yes, Gregoria44 here. I would like to see Jack and Des kiss. Make it so, or suffer my WRATH.
And lo!
\o/ YESSSSSSSSSSSS! \o/ You know - I really did squeal when this happened. Am I sad? I don't care. Their lips really did meet, and since Des wasn't really unconcious, and Jack wasn't really doing CPR, it is a kiss, whichever way you look at it - IN MY HEAD.
Is this a good time to ask for another fu... beer?
Look at Jack's hair!
*runs fingers through it*
Holy Mackerel, Jack man!
After waiting FOUR whole series, Des can barely believe his luck. Nor can Jack. Nor can I. Obviously the blue shirt of lurve loses none of its power when wet.
*sigh*
Their newly consummated relationship is short lived, however.
Creature from the deep
This woman has been looking for Des for years, she's the love of his life, she can't move her upper lip, struggles to cry... blah, blah, blah. *is bored*
Could it be?
Yes. It could. Damnit.
Yawn
*distracts self by imagining Des being this happy to kiss me*
Look at those dimples!
Nooooooooooooooooooo!
And, people? That's the genuine sight of a heart breaking.
How lovely to meet you!
Oh, shut UP, already.
Yeah, right, missus.
Jack gives Des the evils. "But you said you were miiiiiiiiiiiine." Is this the end for Jack and Des? I don't want to think about that, so instead...
...We'll have some random HOT shots, yeah!
Flashback!Des, in his military past. Cute hair, uniform, wet in the rain. Leave me three, please, milkman. And while we're talking of being wet...
...Jack does wet very nicely, too.
I kept this magazine under my bed from when I bought it, until we moved. It was so hot, I couldn't bear to look at it for longer than a minute at a time. Seriously, I am very in love with Jack, and always have been. Nipples!
Icon friendly Des!
More uniform, more fangirls. I'm just out of shot, dribbling a little.
Love this photo.
Henry Ian Cusick admires Terry O'Neil's baldy, shiny, roundy head. Two fabulous actors.
He really is very smiley...
...and clearly isn't a fan of shirt buttons. Hoorah!
:D
Deep, deep love for Jack - and Matthew Fox is a pretty boy, also. He's lucky to be behind that fence - I'm scary when I gather steam.
Best. Ever. Des. Picture.
Really, what's not to love? And when I say 'love', I probably mean 'orgasm over'. For the record, I ♥ Ian Cusick far more than I ♥ Matthew Fox. I reckon he's a genuine, delightful fellow. And he's fit as. And his shirts fall off him by magic, and, and, and... do you know, what?
*passes out from picspammy efforts, and too much UST*