I took this from my offline journal...
Sunday July 24th 8:13pm
I really hate my emotions.....For all intensive purposes I should be feeling up today. I had a great night with an awesome friend but instead of feeling cheerful I feel empty.
Today I did what everyone says you should do to battle depression....I went to the bookstore and read, I took a walk, I played in the sprinkler and all the while I felt as though I am living my life as a hollow shell. I have so many good things in my life....amazing friends, a new place to live soon, supportive job and still my head is fucking me. The one thing missing in my life is the one thing that will never be there again.
I see the Psychiatrist on Tuesday....I am fully aware that he will not to provide me with the miracle cure...I just want to be able to enjoy life again....I mean truly truly enjoy life.
I want to be able to love again....I want to find joy in the little things again...shit...I just want to find joy again period.
I have thought recently about relocating....just packing up my shit and taking off.....starting over but I can't run away from my feelings.......
here we go again.
I really hate my emotions.....For all intensive purposes I should be feeling up today. I had a great night with an awesome friend but instead of feeling cheerful I feel empty.
Today I did what everyone says you should do to battle depression....I went to the bookstore and read, I took a walk, I played in the sprinkler and all the while I felt as though I am living my life as a hollow shell. I have so many good things in my life....amazing friends, a new place to live soon, supportive job and still my head is fucking me. The one thing missing in my life is the one thing that will never be there again.
I see the Psychiatrist on Tuesday....I am fully aware that he will not to provide me with the miracle cure...I just want to be able to enjoy life again....I mean truly truly enjoy life.
I want to be able to love again....I want to find joy in the little things again...shit...I just want to find joy again period.
I have thought recently about relocating....just packing up my shit and taking off.....starting over but I can't run away from my feelings.......
here we go again.