(no subject)
thought i would update for the heck of it. i do most of my infrequent journalling on xanga anymore..but i didnt want to neglect the ole lj
just finished reading wild at heart again. Such a good book. Cary, i understand what you're going through. I guess its just a matter of would you be doing more or less for Jesus if you hadnt become an RA, im almost sure you would doing less. Im not sure if n8 is going to be involved in worship or not, i know kyle is not going to be. which leaves me in charge...well the feeling i got from n8 was even if he is involved it will still be my boat.
i dont feel like im ready for that, ive wanted to for a while but i just feel so unqualified. its something im going to have to fight to surrender. im not just going to buckle under and i know god will provide me with all i need and more if i rely on him. pray for me to be given courage. like edridge says:
"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die... He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it....He must not merely cling to live, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine."
No title
twist and scream, the legacy you left behind for me to see:
the sun has set on silly dreams as children we'll no longer be
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, you're gone...you've gotten so good with blaming
testing love with stupid games, dont agree we seem fleeting:
trusted you with everything, foolishness, i took a beating
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, you're gone...youve gotten so good with blaming
twist and scream, the legacy you left behind for me to see:
the sun has set on silly dreams as children we'll no longer be
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, now you're gone...and i find that so relaxing
just finished reading wild at heart again. Such a good book. Cary, i understand what you're going through. I guess its just a matter of would you be doing more or less for Jesus if you hadnt become an RA, im almost sure you would doing less. Im not sure if n8 is going to be involved in worship or not, i know kyle is not going to be. which leaves me in charge...well the feeling i got from n8 was even if he is involved it will still be my boat.
i dont feel like im ready for that, ive wanted to for a while but i just feel so unqualified. its something im going to have to fight to surrender. im not just going to buckle under and i know god will provide me with all i need and more if i rely on him. pray for me to be given courage. like edridge says:
"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die... He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it....He must not merely cling to live, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine."
No title
twist and scream, the legacy you left behind for me to see:
the sun has set on silly dreams as children we'll no longer be
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, you're gone...you've gotten so good with blaming
testing love with stupid games, dont agree we seem fleeting:
trusted you with everything, foolishness, i took a beating
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, you're gone...youve gotten so good with blaming
twist and scream, the legacy you left behind for me to see:
the sun has set on silly dreams as children we'll no longer be
sing out, sing out...things are changing
gone, now you're gone...and i find that so relaxing