therapy - group and otherwise
Despite the fact that i never been that skilled at sharing my feelings, i'm not opposed to therapy, i just never felt like it was really necessary. Then when i started this whole trip i felt like i was managing fairly well, but then someone mentioned that it is better to go when you don't really need it and try to avert a crisis than to wait until you are in crisis. so point taken i went to see a counsellor. she's alright. i don't really have any feelings about her either way, which is okay i guess. the only downside is that her office is at st.b and THAT HOSPITAL IS FILTHY seriously don't go there if you don't need to.
on wed. i went to a support group for young women with breast cancer. first of all you should know that when you see that term it means women 55 and younger. in fact they say young women but what they really mean is women who are pre-menopausal. they make this distinction because the therapies are different. and because they've determined that "young" women have different psyco/social concerns than older women (news flash!!) such as cancer interupts their careers, their families, their reproductive concerns, etc. etc. anywho. the support group actually consist of young women(well still in a cancer context) but the age range is 28-42, so most everyone is in roughly the same boat. I was a bit sceptical about it before i went because i was worried it would be a) filled with crazy women that i would hate b)that it would be more pink brigade type bullshit c) that i would be building relationships with women who may die from cancer. Okay that last point may be harsh, but it's not that i don't think that i'll never have anyone in my life who will die but that is a bit different than consciously entering into that space. but hey if nothing else i'm sure i will learn much. so the group was good. i was actually a bit suprised. not just okay but good. on tuesday i learned that my chemo starts on the 18th. it was weird but i felt happy about it because it's been so long that i've been waiting to hear about when i would start and now at least i know what i'll be doing for the next 5 months. and i'll be getting a pic line in my arm ( basically a tube they shove in my vein almost to the heart so that when i get chemo i won't have to get bruises all over my arms, and have lower chance of infection and other complications). At the group i got to see peoples pic lines and ports so i know what they look like and heard what people think of them. if you would have told me about pics and ports 6 months ago i would have been disgusted and said no way. but now i'm looking forward to not having bruises anymore.
so i think i'll go back next week.
on wed. i went to a support group for young women with breast cancer. first of all you should know that when you see that term it means women 55 and younger. in fact they say young women but what they really mean is women who are pre-menopausal. they make this distinction because the therapies are different. and because they've determined that "young" women have different psyco/social concerns than older women (news flash!!) such as cancer interupts their careers, their families, their reproductive concerns, etc. etc. anywho. the support group actually consist of young women(well still in a cancer context) but the age range is 28-42, so most everyone is in roughly the same boat. I was a bit sceptical about it before i went because i was worried it would be a) filled with crazy women that i would hate b)that it would be more pink brigade type bullshit c) that i would be building relationships with women who may die from cancer. Okay that last point may be harsh, but it's not that i don't think that i'll never have anyone in my life who will die but that is a bit different than consciously entering into that space. but hey if nothing else i'm sure i will learn much. so the group was good. i was actually a bit suprised. not just okay but good. on tuesday i learned that my chemo starts on the 18th. it was weird but i felt happy about it because it's been so long that i've been waiting to hear about when i would start and now at least i know what i'll be doing for the next 5 months. and i'll be getting a pic line in my arm ( basically a tube they shove in my vein almost to the heart so that when i get chemo i won't have to get bruises all over my arms, and have lower chance of infection and other complications). At the group i got to see peoples pic lines and ports so i know what they look like and heard what people think of them. if you would have told me about pics and ports 6 months ago i would have been disgusted and said no way. but now i'm looking forward to not having bruises anymore.
so i think i'll go back next week.