everything good that i learned about boob surgery i learned from trannies
somehow we ended up at the grace 2 hours earlier than necessary. i had a debate with a nurse trying to ascertain whether i came two hours early because they told me the wrong time or because it was late. doesn't matter really. first they made me change into a horrible fashion night mare including brown foam slippers with happy faces on them. i had the option of bringing my own slippers and robe, but besides the fact that i don't own such items i didn't want to contaminate my clothing with hospital germs.
then they took me to a bed and gave me a warm blanket. i love warm blankets! i totally want a blanket warmer in my house. it's brilliant. turns out the first nurse i had didn't have good needle skills cuz she gave me a blood thinner which caused a big bruise on my arm and for the rest of the day everyone who saw it was shocked and traumitized. then she proceeded to not be able to find a vein. but eventually she managed and i was sent off to the xray dept. where the surgeon- dr.bowtie, came and injected my boob with radioactive die, and then he wheeled me to the pre-op room where i met the anaesthiologist (sp?) and dr. bowtie gained major points with all the nurses cuz i guess surgeons don't normally do such grunt work. i mean the man could probably get head from most any nurse in the or. then i went to the or and the nurses there were super sweet. one held my hand and patted my head and said "you just go to sleep dear and we will take good care of you" the other nurse said " i hope you don't mind but the doctor likes rockier kind of music" it was totally gnr and something punk(i was too high by this point). now i loved him even more.
the next thing i remember is sobbing because it hurt like a mo fo and because it was sinking in that the surgery was finished. which was good, and a major relief. eventually the painkillers kicked in and i left the recovery room, and headed back to the day surgery room where i started. I wanted really badly to go home but i kept puking, and had a hard time keeping conscious. but eventually i got dressed and kept my mouth shut long enough to get discharged. we stopped at the drugstore on the way home to get my codeine.
went home and went to bed. shortly after i got home jane called to see how i was doing, and while i was talking to her i was so confused because i saw that my cat had a collar on, that i did not give her. in my morphein muddled state i couldn't understand why someone would come and put a collar on my cat while i was in surgery. eventually with the help of jane i realized that the collar was pink and that one of my bitch ass friends had decided that it was funny to put breast cancer paraphenallia on my pet. oh the love
then they took me to a bed and gave me a warm blanket. i love warm blankets! i totally want a blanket warmer in my house. it's brilliant. turns out the first nurse i had didn't have good needle skills cuz she gave me a blood thinner which caused a big bruise on my arm and for the rest of the day everyone who saw it was shocked and traumitized. then she proceeded to not be able to find a vein. but eventually she managed and i was sent off to the xray dept. where the surgeon- dr.bowtie, came and injected my boob with radioactive die, and then he wheeled me to the pre-op room where i met the anaesthiologist (sp?) and dr. bowtie gained major points with all the nurses cuz i guess surgeons don't normally do such grunt work. i mean the man could probably get head from most any nurse in the or. then i went to the or and the nurses there were super sweet. one held my hand and patted my head and said "you just go to sleep dear and we will take good care of you" the other nurse said " i hope you don't mind but the doctor likes rockier kind of music" it was totally gnr and something punk(i was too high by this point). now i loved him even more.
the next thing i remember is sobbing because it hurt like a mo fo and because it was sinking in that the surgery was finished. which was good, and a major relief. eventually the painkillers kicked in and i left the recovery room, and headed back to the day surgery room where i started. I wanted really badly to go home but i kept puking, and had a hard time keeping conscious. but eventually i got dressed and kept my mouth shut long enough to get discharged. we stopped at the drugstore on the way home to get my codeine.
went home and went to bed. shortly after i got home jane called to see how i was doing, and while i was talking to her i was so confused because i saw that my cat had a collar on, that i did not give her. in my morphein muddled state i couldn't understand why someone would come and put a collar on my cat while i was in surgery. eventually with the help of jane i realized that the collar was pink and that one of my bitch ass friends had decided that it was funny to put breast cancer paraphenallia on my pet. oh the love