(no subject)
1. Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
No.
2. Are you gay?
No.
3. Do you have hairy legs?
Yes.
4. Do you smoke anything?
No.
5. Do you like monkeys?
Yes.
6. How many fillings do you have?
None.
7. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
A lake.
8. Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Yes.
9. Have you ever read the Bible?
Yes.
10. Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Yes.
11. Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes.
12. Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
No.
13. Have you ever hugged a tree?
No.
14. Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Yes. They're not just found at the opening of a mammal's rectum.
15. Describe your hair?
Short, brown, straight.
16. Are you a wildebeast?
No. They can't type.
17. Do you like to have fun?
Sure.
18. Do you like drama?
I dislike most forms of real-life drama.
19. Have you ever taken a bong hit?
No.
20. Do you like mayonnaise?
No.
21. Are you afraid to die?
Yes.
22. Do you like playing in leaves?
I don't know...
23. Do you like lyme tics?
I've not tried them.
24. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
No.
26. Are you an adult?
Yes.
27. Do you think you have a good handle on spelling?
Yes.
28. Ever won a spelling bee?
No. (Damned homonyms...)
29. Do you ever eat because your depressed?
Not recently. And it's "you're".
30. Are you a television addict?
No.
31. Do you think O.J. is guilty?
I don't care.
32. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yes.
33. Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
No.
34. On a swing?
'No, not at the moment. I'm in a chair.'
35. Do you like Elvis?
Presley or Costello? Yes and yes.
36. Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel?
No.
37. Ever been hit on at the zoo?
Hahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha! ...no.
38. Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
No.
39. Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkey?
No.
40. I deleted this for a reason. what's the reason?
Beats me.
41. Are you a sugar freak?
No.
42. When you hear a knock on the door, do you think "oh no! It's the cops!"?
Not yet.
43. Ever been arrested?
No.
44. Ever commit a crime and gotten away with it, like O.J, did?
Yes. There's a gratuituous comma up there...
45. Actually, do you like orange juice?
Yes.
46. What sign are you?
Sign? Oh, Pisces.
47. Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
What?
48. Where do you wish you were right now?
Cuddling with my girlfriend. ... Oh, wait. I don't have one of those. Silly me.
49. Did you enjoy this?
Nah...
No.
2. Are you gay?
No.
3. Do you have hairy legs?
Yes.
4. Do you smoke anything?
No.
5. Do you like monkeys?
Yes.
6. How many fillings do you have?
None.
7. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
A lake.
8. Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Yes.
9. Have you ever read the Bible?
Yes.
10. Did you ever go to Sunday School?
Yes.
11. Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes.
12. Did you ever bring a weapon to high school?
No.
13. Have you ever hugged a tree?
No.
14. Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Yes. They're not just found at the opening of a mammal's rectum.
15. Describe your hair?
Short, brown, straight.
16. Are you a wildebeast?
No. They can't type.
17. Do you like to have fun?
Sure.
18. Do you like drama?
I dislike most forms of real-life drama.
19. Have you ever taken a bong hit?
No.
20. Do you like mayonnaise?
No.
21. Are you afraid to die?
Yes.
22. Do you like playing in leaves?
I don't know...
23. Do you like lyme tics?
I've not tried them.
24. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
No.
26. Are you an adult?
Yes.
27. Do you think you have a good handle on spelling?
Yes.
28. Ever won a spelling bee?
No. (Damned homonyms...)
29. Do you ever eat because your depressed?
Not recently. And it's "you're".
30. Are you a television addict?
No.
31. Do you think O.J. is guilty?
I don't care.
32. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
Yes.
33. Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
No.
34. On a swing?
'No, not at the moment. I'm in a chair.'
35. Do you like Elvis?
Presley or Costello? Yes and yes.
36. Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel?
No.
37. Ever been hit on at the zoo?
Hahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha! ...no.
38. Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
No.
39. Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkey?
No.
40. I deleted this for a reason. what's the reason?
Beats me.
41. Are you a sugar freak?
No.
42. When you hear a knock on the door, do you think "oh no! It's the cops!"?
Not yet.
43. Ever been arrested?
No.
44. Ever commit a crime and gotten away with it, like O.J, did?
Yes. There's a gratuituous comma up there...
45. Actually, do you like orange juice?
Yes.
46. What sign are you?
Sign? Oh, Pisces.
47. Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
What?
48. Where do you wish you were right now?
Cuddling with my girlfriend. ... Oh, wait. I don't have one of those. Silly me.
49. Did you enjoy this?
Nah...