Second NYC Flash Fiction Contest Entry
Title: Boomer Blitzkrieg
Genre: Humor
Word Ct: 760
Requirements: humor, a day care center, a cigar
** ***
“How about this one?” said Harry, plopping himself down at the craft table. “All the leaves are brown…”
“Gangway! Look out!” Gabriel took the turn around the table on two wheels, skidding in a glop of purple and orange tempera on the floor.
“Look out yerself, smart ass!” Rosemary Elderflower cut him off on the inside. “And the sky is gray…”
“I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day!” Gwendolyn sang from the sidelines.
“It’s not your turn,” said Harry. He quickly scooted in close to the table to avoid Rosemary’s wheels.
“Just keep going,” said Gabriel, barely righting himself in time. “If I didn’t tell her…”
He managed to pass Rosemary, knocking over one of the four easels. A baby food jar full of water and three paintbrushes skittered across the floor. Rosemary snarled and shot around the craft table after him, electric motor wound out.
“I could leave today!” sang Gwendolyn.
“It’s still not your turn, Gwen.” Harry shook his head and returned his attention to the dream catcher he had been working on for two months.
“Oh honestly, Harry. Smoke another one.” Sunshine Rainbow Dancer shoved her walker over to the couch and flopped down. “Or maybe I will. As soon as I catch my breath.”
“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ ON SUCH A WINTER’S DAAAAYYYY!” Gwendolyn looked around triumphantly. “I win.”
In the far corner of the rec room Rosemary grunted as she worked to untangle her front wheels where they had caught on several shuffleboard paddles when she spun out. The electric motor howled as she shifted from forward to reverse and back again.
Gabriel zipped his chair around in a tight circle which may have been part of his victory dance, although it looked more like his turn lever was stuck. “You need some help, Rosemary?”
“No! What I want is a rematch, dammit!”
“Chivalry is dead,” said Harry to no one in particular. “The ladies killed it in the 70’s.”
“And good riddance!” said Sunshine. “Damned patriarchal infantilization….” She squinted up at the wall clock. “Isn’t it lunch time?”
“Yeah. Where’s Mary?” asked Gwendolyn.
“Probably still tied up in the closet.” Harry picked up his dream catcher and peered at it. “Needs more feathers…”
“Mary’s tied up in the closet?!” Gwendolyn’s eyes grew huge behind her coke-bottle thick glasses.
“You helped tie her up.” Rosemary gave her wheel chair one more wheel-spinning tug in reverse.
“I did no such thing!”
“Yes, you did,” said Harry. “We voted on it. We tied her and General Patton up and stuffed ‘em in the closet.”
“General Patton’s not his real name,” said Gwendolyn. “It’s Marvin. Or Marty. No, wait. I think it’s Melvin.”
“Just for the record, I was opposed to tying up General Patton,” said Gabriel. “He’s an Elder. One of the Great Generation. We should treat him with respect.”
“He reminds me of my father. He had to go.” Sunshine finished rolling her doobie. “When I’m done with this I vote we let Mary out so she can get our lunches.”
“We should let her out now,” said Harry. “My daughter’s picking me up at one today and I want to eat here. All she ever feeds me for lunch is tuna sandwiches.”
Now that it was a little quieter the thumping and muted shouts could be heard coming from the direction of the back room. General Patton seemed particularly vocal.
Sunshine took a deep hit and offered the joint to Gabriel. “Want some?” she helium-squeaked. Gabriel hummed his chair over to the couch and took it from her.
“Well, I’m letting Mary out,” Harry announced and shoved himself to his feet. He lifted his coat from the back of the chair and rummaged around in the pockets, producing a slightly squashed cigar.
“What’s that for?” asked Rosemary.
Harry winked at her and shuffled off to the back room. “Take out your hearing aids,” he called over his shoulder.
When Mary stormed into the rec room she seemed quite put out. Fortunately she was mostly yelling in Italian and once she had exhausted her repertoire of Italian curse words she left the room, ostensibly to get the lunches.
“So where’s General Patton?” asked Gabriel as they gathered around the lunch table.
“He’s fine,” said Harry.
“I don’t hear him yelling anymore.” Gabriel’s tone was fraught with suspicion.
“That was a genuine Cuban cigar. Should keep him busy until his grandson comes and picks him up.”
“Right on!” said Sunshine and reached over to high-five Harry.
“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ ON SUCH A WINTER’S DAAAAYYYY!” Gwendolyn sang out. “I win.”
** ** ***
Genre: Humor
Word Ct: 760
Requirements: humor, a day care center, a cigar
** ***
“How about this one?” said Harry, plopping himself down at the craft table. “All the leaves are brown…”
“Gangway! Look out!” Gabriel took the turn around the table on two wheels, skidding in a glop of purple and orange tempera on the floor.
“Look out yerself, smart ass!” Rosemary Elderflower cut him off on the inside. “And the sky is gray…”
“I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day!” Gwendolyn sang from the sidelines.
“It’s not your turn,” said Harry. He quickly scooted in close to the table to avoid Rosemary’s wheels.
“Just keep going,” said Gabriel, barely righting himself in time. “If I didn’t tell her…”
He managed to pass Rosemary, knocking over one of the four easels. A baby food jar full of water and three paintbrushes skittered across the floor. Rosemary snarled and shot around the craft table after him, electric motor wound out.
“I could leave today!” sang Gwendolyn.
“It’s still not your turn, Gwen.” Harry shook his head and returned his attention to the dream catcher he had been working on for two months.
“Oh honestly, Harry. Smoke another one.” Sunshine Rainbow Dancer shoved her walker over to the couch and flopped down. “Or maybe I will. As soon as I catch my breath.”
“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ ON SUCH A WINTER’S DAAAAYYYY!” Gwendolyn looked around triumphantly. “I win.”
In the far corner of the rec room Rosemary grunted as she worked to untangle her front wheels where they had caught on several shuffleboard paddles when she spun out. The electric motor howled as she shifted from forward to reverse and back again.
Gabriel zipped his chair around in a tight circle which may have been part of his victory dance, although it looked more like his turn lever was stuck. “You need some help, Rosemary?”
“No! What I want is a rematch, dammit!”
“Chivalry is dead,” said Harry to no one in particular. “The ladies killed it in the 70’s.”
“And good riddance!” said Sunshine. “Damned patriarchal infantilization….” She squinted up at the wall clock. “Isn’t it lunch time?”
“Yeah. Where’s Mary?” asked Gwendolyn.
“Probably still tied up in the closet.” Harry picked up his dream catcher and peered at it. “Needs more feathers…”
“Mary’s tied up in the closet?!” Gwendolyn’s eyes grew huge behind her coke-bottle thick glasses.
“You helped tie her up.” Rosemary gave her wheel chair one more wheel-spinning tug in reverse.
“I did no such thing!”
“Yes, you did,” said Harry. “We voted on it. We tied her and General Patton up and stuffed ‘em in the closet.”
“General Patton’s not his real name,” said Gwendolyn. “It’s Marvin. Or Marty. No, wait. I think it’s Melvin.”
“Just for the record, I was opposed to tying up General Patton,” said Gabriel. “He’s an Elder. One of the Great Generation. We should treat him with respect.”
“He reminds me of my father. He had to go.” Sunshine finished rolling her doobie. “When I’m done with this I vote we let Mary out so she can get our lunches.”
“We should let her out now,” said Harry. “My daughter’s picking me up at one today and I want to eat here. All she ever feeds me for lunch is tuna sandwiches.”
Now that it was a little quieter the thumping and muted shouts could be heard coming from the direction of the back room. General Patton seemed particularly vocal.
Sunshine took a deep hit and offered the joint to Gabriel. “Want some?” she helium-squeaked. Gabriel hummed his chair over to the couch and took it from her.
“Well, I’m letting Mary out,” Harry announced and shoved himself to his feet. He lifted his coat from the back of the chair and rummaged around in the pockets, producing a slightly squashed cigar.
“What’s that for?” asked Rosemary.
Harry winked at her and shuffled off to the back room. “Take out your hearing aids,” he called over his shoulder.
When Mary stormed into the rec room she seemed quite put out. Fortunately she was mostly yelling in Italian and once she had exhausted her repertoire of Italian curse words she left the room, ostensibly to get the lunches.
“So where’s General Patton?” asked Gabriel as they gathered around the lunch table.
“He’s fine,” said Harry.
“I don’t hear him yelling anymore.” Gabriel’s tone was fraught with suspicion.
“That was a genuine Cuban cigar. Should keep him busy until his grandson comes and picks him up.”
“Right on!” said Sunshine and reached over to high-five Harry.
“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’ ON SUCH A WINTER’S DAAAAYYYY!” Gwendolyn sang out. “I win.”
** ** ***