john says i'm an "exie"
wtf
i just realized
that probably
not only is the universe a reflection of myself
but i AM the universe
i mean duh
thats what all the wisdom is telling us
so that's so lonely though
all my friends are characters i made up myself? just showing me more of myself!?
i mean
events in my life have shown me that undeniably, experientially
everything is a reflection of myself. (well, at least a lot of things are.......................)
and we have been told that all is one. so are there even separate beings anyway or did i MAKE THIS UNIVERSE UP!?!?
i should make a movie about this shit id be a millionaire.
my friend jan at omega said to me she had a powerful experience once when she went to a psychic and during the session she went into such a deep meditation that she visited another planet, and everything was just flowing, like stingrays, something about stingrays and the way they move, upon the waves and flow of the universe. and some beings on the planet, her true self being one of them, were making up entire universes. these were the most powerful beings though. others were making up less profound things. i wonder if my true self is on some planet somewhere beaming out thoughts that make up entire universes all on their own..... so are all of you existent but just PARALELL UNIVERSES?:!! of your own experiences, infinite in their nature... and did i just make this whole life up, for fun? a little dream? a movie, to entertain myself, a being who just bes all damn eternity with nothing else to DO
but i gotta stop thinking about it, i'll never figure it out with my mind. i gotta lose my mind. because when i do that, i'll just know. i'll just be the universe. you can never figure it out. you dont have to think outside the box, you dont even have to think . you just have to get out of the box.and the box is your mind. and beyond that no thoughts, no time exists, no space, it is all relative, like einstein proved, which we dont as a society quite understand yet, except some of us do... like me, because i happen to be educated and smart, thanks mom and thank god, who is me?!... (as an interesting aside, i am reading a book by the dalai lama about the parallells between new science and ancient wisdom in the buddhist tradition, and much of what buddhism discovered thousands of years ago through meditation is being made evident today through quantum physics, whose fundamental truths have disproved that any real universal laws exist, as nothing exists apart from the observer. the book is entitled, "the universe in a single atom." ) there is no out there out there, you ARE THE UNIVERSE, there is no separation. is this scaring you? because it kind of scares me, but fear leads to the dark side! so no fear, fear not, do not be anxious in anything, my child. said jesus, who knew his shit!
OI, the reason i am typing this! is because! there is some emotion VERY DEEP, VERY VERY VERY DEEP, that wants to come out of me RIGHT NOW, that i have been avoiding ALL DAY! because i dont want to face it, so my mind is going crazy trying to distract me, because if it distracts me long enough, maybe i wont get to face that emotion, which is the only way to release it, which is the only way to overcome the ego, which is to say, the mind. soooooooooooo how long can i type to avoid this! not much longer!!! AHHHHHHHHH
i feel i might have to scream! WHAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know. i remember. this whole entry started because i am feeling terribly trapped. trapped! stuck! in a spot! its the worse kind of hell! to be TRAPPED! in your own mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, why, because i go online looking for my latest crush, who sucks in this current reality, actually, as he ignores me, due to deeper emotional negative patterns which i developed unconsciously as a child and am now trying to release, and so this current entrapment has much to do with it i am guessing... because he is REFLECTING MY EMOTIONAL ISSUES! SO THAT I MAY SEE THEM! SO THAT I MAY DEAL WITH THEM! AND THUS ASCEND TO A HIGHER EVOLUTIONARY POSITION!
so i am back to my point. i must release that which the universe has shown that i am, which no longer serves me. here i go. sedona method.
the issue: ENTRAPMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT BEING CONTENT! WANTING HAPPINESS WHICH COMES FROM OUTSIDE OF MYSELF! AH, through a guy.
what it really is: wanting SEPARATION! not oneness, dammit. wanting approval. wanting control. and truly, wanting oneness.
okay, i just went and be'd present with all them emotions and intended to release them. and by god, i feel calmer. thanks, undead journal.
this is what the world is coming to!
(at least, my world.....)
namaste,
OM (all is one.),
mcsunshiner
i just realized
that probably
not only is the universe a reflection of myself
but i AM the universe
i mean duh
thats what all the wisdom is telling us
so that's so lonely though
all my friends are characters i made up myself? just showing me more of myself!?
i mean
events in my life have shown me that undeniably, experientially
everything is a reflection of myself. (well, at least a lot of things are.......................)
and we have been told that all is one. so are there even separate beings anyway or did i MAKE THIS UNIVERSE UP!?!?
i should make a movie about this shit id be a millionaire.
my friend jan at omega said to me she had a powerful experience once when she went to a psychic and during the session she went into such a deep meditation that she visited another planet, and everything was just flowing, like stingrays, something about stingrays and the way they move, upon the waves and flow of the universe. and some beings on the planet, her true self being one of them, were making up entire universes. these were the most powerful beings though. others were making up less profound things. i wonder if my true self is on some planet somewhere beaming out thoughts that make up entire universes all on their own..... so are all of you existent but just PARALELL UNIVERSES?:!! of your own experiences, infinite in their nature... and did i just make this whole life up, for fun? a little dream? a movie, to entertain myself, a being who just bes all damn eternity with nothing else to DO
but i gotta stop thinking about it, i'll never figure it out with my mind. i gotta lose my mind. because when i do that, i'll just know. i'll just be the universe. you can never figure it out. you dont have to think outside the box, you dont even have to think . you just have to get out of the box.and the box is your mind. and beyond that no thoughts, no time exists, no space, it is all relative, like einstein proved, which we dont as a society quite understand yet, except some of us do... like me, because i happen to be educated and smart, thanks mom and thank god, who is me?!... (as an interesting aside, i am reading a book by the dalai lama about the parallells between new science and ancient wisdom in the buddhist tradition, and much of what buddhism discovered thousands of years ago through meditation is being made evident today through quantum physics, whose fundamental truths have disproved that any real universal laws exist, as nothing exists apart from the observer. the book is entitled, "the universe in a single atom." ) there is no out there out there, you ARE THE UNIVERSE, there is no separation. is this scaring you? because it kind of scares me, but fear leads to the dark side! so no fear, fear not, do not be anxious in anything, my child. said jesus, who knew his shit!
OI, the reason i am typing this! is because! there is some emotion VERY DEEP, VERY VERY VERY DEEP, that wants to come out of me RIGHT NOW, that i have been avoiding ALL DAY! because i dont want to face it, so my mind is going crazy trying to distract me, because if it distracts me long enough, maybe i wont get to face that emotion, which is the only way to release it, which is the only way to overcome the ego, which is to say, the mind. soooooooooooo how long can i type to avoid this! not much longer!!! AHHHHHHHHH
i feel i might have to scream! WHAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know. i remember. this whole entry started because i am feeling terribly trapped. trapped! stuck! in a spot! its the worse kind of hell! to be TRAPPED! in your own mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, why, because i go online looking for my latest crush, who sucks in this current reality, actually, as he ignores me, due to deeper emotional negative patterns which i developed unconsciously as a child and am now trying to release, and so this current entrapment has much to do with it i am guessing... because he is REFLECTING MY EMOTIONAL ISSUES! SO THAT I MAY SEE THEM! SO THAT I MAY DEAL WITH THEM! AND THUS ASCEND TO A HIGHER EVOLUTIONARY POSITION!
so i am back to my point. i must release that which the universe has shown that i am, which no longer serves me. here i go. sedona method.
the issue: ENTRAPMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT BEING CONTENT! WANTING HAPPINESS WHICH COMES FROM OUTSIDE OF MYSELF! AH, through a guy.
what it really is: wanting SEPARATION! not oneness, dammit. wanting approval. wanting control. and truly, wanting oneness.
okay, i just went and be'd present with all them emotions and intended to release them. and by god, i feel calmer. thanks, undead journal.
this is what the world is coming to!
(at least, my world.....)
namaste,
OM (all is one.),
mcsunshiner