seems that i am not going crazy
I am reading a book by James Redfield and Michael Murphy called God and the Evolving Universe- The next step in personal Evolution. James Redfield is the author of the Celestine Prophecy, a book which sent repeated streams of energy down my back and up through the crown of my head due to the uncanny way in which it was describing the odd happenings of my life. well this book is causing those same energy awakenings. check out this one part i just read, which was true enough to whats been going on with me lately that i am inspired to share it here. as some of you are aware i described this exact type of experience in detail in my last post, before ever reading about such a phenomenon, which apparently it is:
"Memory can expand even further when we look for meaning in our lives. At times, it can take on the nature of inspiration when we seem to "remember" a greater existence, a higher realm, and what we are meant or destined to become. Such experience can be initiatied by a flood of memories about long-forgotten events that, once recalled, show how they have prepared us for the greater things we are meant to do."
in other words, being that these ideas, among others, are so explicitly written in a book in the manner that they have happened or occurred to me, it makes it much more doubtful that what is going on here is a matter of sheer coincidence or just plain-old cassie goin cra-zay.
furthermore, each chapter talks about other things i have been experiencing that one is bound to experience as one evolves, as is the purpose of all of humanity. one thing i noticed and had never read about before is that i thought my vision was improving. ive been thinking this and have concluded lately that, although i have never even needed glasses, my vision has in fact improved. refined hearing is another thing i just noticed recently. more body awareness, moments of unexplained bliss, synchronicities or "coincidences" are other phenomenon. anyway, the celestine prophecy was like this book in that it explained a lot about whats been goin on with me and made me feel better.
one good indicator i have recently set for myself is that if i am not experiencing joy, i'm doing something wrong. joy is integral to this whole process, or what it should be building up to anyway. i spoke to a psychic about all these goings on and she really helped me deal with some of these issues i've been grappling with. she told me that recently ive felt ungrounded (so true!) and how to go about reversing that, that id recently forgotten how to have fun with all this stuff (so true!) but that in the next three to four weeks id start to feel more secure, and a couple of other real awesome things that were 100 percent accurate and things i needed to hear. she told me what to do about st augustine lover boy, which she asked me about . she said im projecting too much into it, too set on a specific outcome. she said to surrender the relationship to spirit. because when you expect things out of a relationship it changes the energy. so thats what ive been doing and ive felt a noticeable difference in my own attitude toward the matter. i feel happy about it again. i asked her if i should travel or not, and she told me it doesnt matter what i do. what matters is the intention that i do it with.
letting go of some of these old energies can be really... scary though. and old belief systems. my mind is expanding like it hasnt since middle school or something. its growing in leaps in bounds. im truly learning something here. i feel like high school and college it was mostly all learning how to do things efficiently, how to impress people and schools. finally ive come back to truly expanding my mind.
it also feels so good to let go of all this "existential anxiety," and yet, so scary. what is existence and what does it all mean and blah blah blah. thats the scary part i guess im talking about. but the answer is that you can never know with the mind. knowing is a gift of grace that happens when you are in a state of no-mind, or meditation. and when you get that true knowing, it comes with an inherent joyousness. so the whole thing is one big "yay!" and nothing at all to worry about. and the other thing im wondering is maybe all that anxiety i was experiencing was actually all the old anxiety on its way out. you experience emotions and toxins two times- once on the way in, and the second time on the way out.
well i guess thats all for now folks.
in rapturous study of all things mystical,
cassandra mcsunshine
p.s. new word for thought: evolition. ! cause for humans, evolution is a choice......